I need help. Once and for all.

[Seattlight00]

I am 26 years old, from the Pacific northwest and now reside in the southeast. I have been on and off DRUGS in general since a young age. Practically everything there is, but my D.O.C is opiates. Strong ones. And I am also an IV user. I am currently married, with two children. One by my wife and I have custody of my son from a previous relationship. I am about to lose everything, again. My wife and children. I've already lost my job. I want help. I have been to detox a few times. Tried sober Living of America (total sham) and I have gotten clean before on my own and stayed clean for up to a year almost. But I have bad anxiety and worse depression. I want to go to a real, nice, and good rehab. But do not have the financial means to go somewhere worth a damn. Please, anyone, if you have any suggestions or recommendations I am willing to try anything. If u know of a good treatment facility that is free, or will work with me. I'll go anywhere. I'll do anything not to lose my family.

 

[motiv311]

i feel your pain man, i really do...

a month ago i was in the worst withdrawal of my life, freaking out, calling everyone i could begging for help .. i just wanted to be put on suboxone offically or methadone , and see a doctor who actually cared about my wellbeing.... It was like no one and no place wanted to deal with me, especially if i had no cash money. Eventually i got admitted to a methadone clinic near my house, and the doctor there is great, but after seeing al the people who go there and talking with them (basically they are mostly the scum of the earth , downtrodden junkies, bottom feeders, and i guess i am too for that matter) i've decided to be cautious about not getting myself more physically dependent in the long run , because methadone is basically free and its so easily attainable, and easy to get your dose higher and higher. Other patients there have warned me, "it gets in your bones and makes you miserable"...... "your withdrawals will last 8 weeks and they are worse than heroin" .... some of the guys there tell me they wish they would have used suboxone if they could afford it.... Other people have told me that with a habit at my level , quiting heroin cold turkey would be better than using methadone....but for me its turning out well, i have never gone about 50 mgs in the two weeks i've been taking it, and the counseling sessions really have helped me out. I also go to AA/NA meetings once a week or so, but when i feel i need the extra support i'll go every day, multiple times if needed, and this is the best thing you could start doing.... yes it sounds like you need more intensive rehab , but sometimes you gotta make due with whatever resources are available... I am impressed with the quality of care and guidance i've gotten from the methadone clinic and AA meetings around town.... Its like the amount of love , healing and "energy" you put into the meetings- is what you get back out of them.... You can bear your soul to the group, and just tell it how it is and what you've been going through and the feelings that are driving you crazy, and they totally accept you and embrace you... and understand you.

So go ahead and do this, find out where you're nearest methadone maintenance and bupe clinic is. My first appointment and dose and everything without insurance or anything was $12, and I was there for like 4-5 hours and saw two counselors and a doctor and had blood taken and tested for TB, aids, hep c, ... I had a rigorous and effective physical, and the treatment was surprisingly excellent. Based on what you've told me , you would benefit greatly from that sort of treatment. Even though they only give you 40 mgs of methadone your first day, you will probably get tremendous relief even from that small dose. Here in california medi cal will pay for basically anyones methadone, and i'm waiting for mine to be approved.

Then look up where there are 12-step meetings taking place around your county, don't worry to much about whether they are for alcoholics or narcotics, cause its the SAME DAMN THING- and the process is identical.... some groups may get bitchy if its all drinkers and you are the only junky - but that is super rare. Usually in my experience they just want you to say "Hi i'm so and so and I'm an alcoholic" -- even if you are actually a junky , its basically branding thing , its stupid... but in reality it makes sense, because you get some dumb young kids who are like "Im brandon , i'm a speed addict and sometime junky , i also eat cheeseburgers etc etc etc" and its not really important in the long run exactly what you were using or how much or whatever... its more about the changes taking place on a deep emotional / spiritual level.... your story would resonate and people would be more than happy to help you on journey to recovery.....

Got to many many meetings until you find the ones that seem to feel like "home" for your recovery..... and then keep attending, multiple meetings a day if necessary.... also apply for state support to get yourself and family financially covered while you recover.

good luck , god bless, i gotta good feeling about you man! Save your family, its all we have in the end!

 

[Seattlight00]

I just woke up and am smoking a cigarette (idk why but I do it like every hour on the dot.) So I'm half asleep. But thank you man for taking the time to read my thread, and put so much back into ur reply. It means alot more than you know. Being the kind of ppl we are I think most of us kind of always feel alone. Even when u can be surrounded by loving ppl. U have considered the clinic. I know some ppl it has worked for and some it ended up being more harmful than effective. But I'm more serious about my recovery than ever. And ur definitely right about the meetings. But unfortunately the last time I was going I was still using and just couldn't stick with it. But that's going to be a big part of it this time I know. Thank you again motiv311.

 

[sleepwalker]

Please take your chance NOW. Don't even try to do it for your family, but for yourself.
And that'll preserve your family.
My wife couldn't take it all mentally and bailed to live with my best friend. Told the kids she couldn't take care of them anymore.
Now I only have my 7 year old son and my 8 year old daughter who are my all, and i am glad i have 100 % custody, but it took the realisation of living without the kids that broke me completely and i want a new breakthrough.
I am their everything and they are becoming quite hard..life is hard.. i wish i couldt have spared them a lil longer from the notice that life isn't fair.

Do it NOW, while you have a family. For i know that i am lucky to have gotten the kids fully as daddy. For healthy moms take their kids when they leave you.
Which makes stoppin even harder...
Don't fear stopping, think about the new possibilities.

I loved laying in bed thinking about what i wouldt do, instead of what i had to do.
Go for yourself, looking towards your loved ones.

 

[LifeIsStrange]

The answer is: Tabernanthe iboga

Ppl say that the HCL is more suitable for them. Because it avoids some side effects they say. But I would take the real plant.

 

[MilzyWilzy]

Hello sweetheart.

I can empathise with you on what it's like to be in the grasp of addiction.

I am currently addicted and I have literally lost everything. My precious children, my family, my partner and my friends, as well as having no money for essentials, such as food. I also suffer with post partum psychosis, following the birth of my beautiful little girl.

I know how hard this is going to be for you, but you need to take charge now before you really do lose everything and that can happen very quickly, so you do need to act now.

Rehab is all well and good but quite frankly, you don't have time to waste searching for one. It could take months. By the time you do actually find one, it could be too late.

Take a step back, relax for a moment and try to forcibly tell yourself that you need to quit. I understand that daunting feeling of fear and how you will cope during withdrawals, how your body will react, how your mind will react and what on earth you're going to do without your beloved drug.

The truth is, you CAN do this, you do have the strength deep down inside of you to combat this horrible addiction. Remove all of your stash from yourself, bin it. You don't want temptation around you. Next, FOCUS. You do not need the drug to be happy, you have your precious family for that honey. Look into the eyes of your beautiful children and tell yourself that they deserve better, and they will get the better.

I have beat opiate addiction, it was hell, but I did it all on my own. I found that strength and you will too. I have faith in you, not only because you're asking for help but because you are a father. You will protect those children with all of your might. Be the shining star that you know you can be.

I'm offering you my support. I can be here for you, through every step of the way if you'd like. You can rant, moan, cry and share your days with me. Just PM me if you decide you want me to help.

Please, sort this immediately. It's too late for me but for you, there is every hope in the world.

 

[LifeIsStrange]

For me, I said will never take Tramadol (Opiat) again (for 4 years?) including on pain peaks that shit with Morphine or/and Fenta - what sick situation. But the something happened.

Got so angry about my brother - because he was doing real shit. That I went to the liquor store and buyed 1 bottle of Vodka. I drank that bottle in less than 30 min. Before that I took a heavy dose Tramadol. Few hours later I had a total outrage. If I would have seen him in this moment - God knows what happened. Luckily that does not happened - but Mother and Stepfather had seen this. Called my brother by mobile and yelled to him as never in my live.

That was the point, when I said to myself I quit. Even that in this time I was a pain patient which needed that stuff. Because at that time I suffering for many years in pain like hell. But this event was so shocking to me that I said - better cut and cry of pain than doing pain to other ppl. So I went cold turkey. Horrible. But that event reminded me that it is worth.

Could tell so much about opiate addiction. Must always discuss with the ppl when hospitalized (from accidents - not drug inducted) that they have to give my strong medicals for my pain. And not shitty things like Paracetamol or Ibuprofen.

Anyway - don't touched that again - even after my disc operation.

 

[PsychicDawn]

Research ibogaine maybe that will help. Look into it and decide for yourself if you think it is the best choice. I hope this helps good luck

 

[d3athadone]

You don't need a fancy rehab man. Those places are a scam 99 of the time. Just take your lickings and detox at home. It hurts like hell, but you just do it. Its just not worth it man. Your gonna lose your fam and then youll really feel like shit. Just do it man. Go cold turkey. I cold turkey once off 100mcg patch of fent a day plus 80mg oxy and 30mg diladud iv and this was all after I got stabbed in the lung and couldnt walk a block even without the wd. That was the worst I ever had to detox. I've done it for the full 10 days or more about 10x and i've done for 3days so many times I cant count. I've always wanted off.