I just recovered from a psychotic episode

[Docus]

Title says it.

My previous medical history: had HPPD for 2 years after 2 or 3 uses of major psychs. Been fine abd recovering ever since then, though during the days leading up to my episode I was abusing downers daily. GBL, Klonopin, alcohol and tramadol interspersed, though I'm positive I wasn't addicted to anything, as I never felt any withdrawals or even cravings since abstaining from all drugs completely.

What really set it off: Using bk-MDMA twice during the two weeks leading up to onset of my psychosis, and smoking weed once (I very, very rarely smoke weed) a few hours before the first signs of me behaving "differently" started to appear.

The experience: I don't remember anything of the peak ('bout 24 hours it lasted), but what I can remember from the remission period fucking... permanently scarred me. I was in a mental ward strapped to a bed with my ankles, stomach wrists, being put down by the medical staff, and left alone in the dark, delusionally thinking I was crashing over at someone's flat. I believe I forgot my mom's name several times and came on to my cousin like several times. Fuck! 8(
Most horrid are the memories of speaking to people who, in hindsight, weren't there. I guess that explains why they were all sitting there so quietly, not speaking back, sometimes displaying an unrelenting, unnerving sickly smile on their faces. Goddamnit this post is unnerving to write. I'm gonna stop now, take my risperidone, and chill out a bit.

I'm sorry if this thread comes out oddly or lacking any real questions or direction, I guess I just figured out I wanted to vent this stuff to someone I didn't personally know.

Share your stories of encounters with mental illness, whether they be your own or about people you know.

The thing that scares me the most is that I'm not the least bit bothered about never being able to use any kind of drugs ever again. Because that definitely isn't me.

 

[KoreyS]

step is to get off the risperdol NOW!

 

[Docus]

Why is that?

 

[KoreyS]

It turns you into a mindless zombie.

 

[An Iz]

You don't understand psychosis, then. I agree that long term seroquil/risperdol can have negative effects on a personality, but manic psycotic phases are way worse.

 

[treezy z]

i'm diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. when i was 14 i though people were listening in on my phone calls, my parents were scheming against me, people were reading my mind, putting thoughts in my head, i was always being watched, etc.
i ended up running away to new york city where i was apprehended and sent to a mental hospital. it took about 3 months for me to return to reality.
that was my psychotic break.
i'm 22 now. since then life has been a constant struggle as i deal with schizophrenia and drug addiction. it's really fucking hard to relate to people, but i've gotten to the point where i can make friends and get laid here and there.
i'm very slowly getting through college, i've got a decent job.
the worst part of my illness is pretty much the feeling of isolation it brings.
risperdal is a great med (i get the shot), but i recommend taking amantadine with it to counter prolactin side effects and a med to increase sex drive (wellbutrin or buspirone or both.)

after typing this, i see that you had drug-induced psychosis so i guess it doesn't really apply.

 

[alexia]

i've been in and out of psych wards since i was 18, i believe i've been in more times than i've got fingers and toes.... and i get different diagnosis from all drs with the exception of depression and panic disorder other wise i rotate between being told i have bipoler, extreme stress (i don't have anything to stress about so thats ironic) or a personality disorder or ptsd (only by female gp tho, not psychiatrists so thats different..). i've had a few episodes of psychosis, all drug induced so it's fair to say i think that i wouldn't be in this situation if i had not gone so crazy with drugs. i was originally sent to drs for therapy for anorexia when i was 16, not cos i was doing drugs or 'crazy' as such, things just snowballed when i started partying more when i got a little older. for me the worst bit has been the toll on family, relationships and friendships and the constant feeling that i just don't fit in anywhere if you understand what i'm saying--- the iscolation. I'm only just getting better, off a lot of the heavier meds, i've stopped a lot of drugs, and hopefully going back to uni next year. the other thing that was for me the worst was that after being in hospitals for long periods of time on and off was that i honestly thought there was no point trying, i just gave up cos i believed i couldn't have a chance at a normal life, and i'm only just getting that back, and it's amazing, and it makes me even more thankful for what i have in my life as opposed to what i lost

 

[negrogesic]

I dont understand; what did you do to end up confined in a psychward? What did you actually do for them to put you in there?

 

[ocean]

Have you been reevaluated since your psychotic episode?

Everyone is different and sometimes medications like some that you were taking (unprescribed) and especially combining them with alcohol can cause some serious meltdowns when you have a mental illness.
My husband was on Risperdal for a number of years and had terrible reactions- they only increased his dose more- until finally he told them no more-
Years later he tried other antipsychotics with reactions to all of them......
But for others, they are lifesavers.
I would say that to get the best assessment of your mental situation- staying away from drugs sounds like a good idea.
Keep us updated with how you are doing!

 

[Aesthetics]

Don't listen to idiotic advice. Coming off your medication would be inviting you to get sick again. You need to be on the meds for a few years.

Say for example you have developed a chronic psychotic disorder, the more episodes you have the more your cognitive function will decline rapidly.

I don't know if you saw some of the patients in the rehabilitation wards. You may have seen some that have regressed to the point of functioning like dementia patients. They were once capable adults but now can't talk, tie their shoes or dress themselves and will have to be institutionalized for the rest of their lives.

You should listen to your doctors, or if you want to be a maverick you may end up like a toddler again.