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i have noticed a strange effect of the internet.

.dR spgeddi

.dR spgeddi

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2003
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but particularly of message board addiction... Note my postcount per day, i am speaking from experience somewhat, as i post actively on this and quite a few other boards.

because so much of my social interaction is typed my language is becoming more staged and i feel like when face to face with people i'd like to edit myself. i find i'm pre-thinking my "input" in conversations, almost as if i'm reading what i'm about to say. i'd rather text a message than call...
are our social skills going to be permanently scared?
will i be able to get a touchy-feely plug-in soon?
is cyber sex... sex?
will this slouch lead to a paunch?
has it all been said before?
 
heh yep.. i somehow feel i'm addicted to messageboards and irc chat too :)

i can't have a party at my own place without constantly watching the monitor, to see if i miss anything.
 
I've been a forum junkie since april of '02.

For some reason I'm always playing out possible scenario conversations and thinking up comments/answers for them.
 
Well keeping the golden rule "moderation is key" maybe this

like when face to face with people i'd like to edit myself. i find i'm pre-thinking my "input" in conversations, almost as if i'm reading what i'm about to say. i'd rather text a message than call...
Click to expand...

is a sign to spend a little less time on message boards, and more of it in FACE-FACE conversation. Speaking before you think is a skill so worth learning :)

Personally, i wish i could be on BL more.. God some days i come here and read the whole site, and post. But then weeks, sometimes months go by before i come back again. so sporatic.
 
.dR spgeddi said:
...my language is becoming more staged and i feel like when face to face with people i'd like to edit myself...
Click to expand...

i do the same thing too. there are also awkward moments in real conversations where i'd like to insert a ;) to clarify what i meant.
 
Originally posted by .dR spgeddi
because so much of my social interaction is typed my language is becoming more staged and i feel like when face to face with people i'd like to edit myself. i find i'm pre-thinking my "input" in conversations, almost as if i'm reading what i'm about to say. i'd rather text a message than call...
Click to expand...

very interesting observation.

how much time do you spend perfecting your BL responses before you hit 'submit reply'? do you find yourself spending a lot of time getting what you write "just right"?

i find i tend to write and submit very quickly so i feel that the huge bulk of my messages are an honest snapshot of my thinking at that moment and, from there, my online persona is a pretty accurate reflection of who i am.

are you familiar with the myers briggs personality indicator? you should check it out - i believe it will give you some insight into how your personality plays into this issue.

i'm an E-for-extrovert and, typical of Es, i do a lot of my thinking external.

there were a couple of excellent threads on the subject somewhere on BL but they appear to have been pruned. read about it here: Working out your Myers Briggs type

i'm an ESTJ.

alasdair
 
Yeah i understand what you mean.
I however usually feel that i best express myself through the written word.
When im talking in person to someone i never find the right words, but in letters to people all my emotions come pouring forth perfectly.
im an INFP btw, so i guess that has something to do with it.
Anyways, i try not to think too much before i post something, i mean often i will make typos which i will sometimes go back and fix, but i dont worry too much about the content because its generally right first try.
like when i write poems i generally never have to edit them afterwards, because it was right the first time.
But in real life i stumble along, often not giving out the right message to people. In some situations i don't feel comfortable speaking my mind, in fear of getting laughed at or outcasted because i'm so different. With people who i know think similarly to me and have similar views i say things more and say them better, because i dont worry about it at all.
and cyber sex is a form of sex, but no where as good as real in-the-flesh sex. but i would still consider it cheating if it was done over the internet.
 
This is an interesting idea and yeah I see myself wishing I could reword myself ect, on occasion I even say lol at peoples jokes (wtf!!).

When I’m talking face to face I usually just rabbit on and not care what people think however with posts I often go back and edit it. I think I do this because my thoughts seem to be more definite and I want to be 100% certain about my answer so that I don’t contradict myself later (catch is I'm never 100% certain about anything). As you can see it still doesn’t make for well structured answer. :) I guess I’m just scared of commitment and written word is definite- it doesn’t mean I am less of myself online than in real life.

.dR spgeddi said:
i'd rather text a message than call...
Click to expand...

same, it allows you to distance yourself from whats going on. It gives the person you are talking to a better opportunity to say no aswell as yourself. You don’t feel cornered or obliged to do whatever the person on the other end of the phone is saying. I don't think this means we are socially stunted its just a diferent aproach to communication.

With that myers briggs personality test I was an INTP (introvert, Intuitive, thinking, perceiving)- this test is really interesting and it’s a shame that all the threads regarding it are now archieved. Thanks for the link alasdairm
 
how much time do you spend perfecting your BL responses before you hit 'submit reply'? do you find yourself spending a lot of time getting what you write "just right"?
Click to expand...
well i dont over think things... actually its afterwards more so that i think... "you cant say that, dumbass!"
perfecting my responses, lol! tho i dont like to have bad grammar and i try to make my words coherrant, so sometimes i need to revise what i've written. i do regularly edit posts... that's coz i regularly post "sidewards." i often rub people the wrong way or offend people accidentally, and occassionally on purpose.

i'll have a go at the link big Al. ta.
 
Wow, you do have a high post count, lol ;)

I've been an internet fiend ever since I first got it, nearly 10 years ago. I was always a bit of an introvert, I can't say the internet has hurt me more but doubt it has helped .. although I've been able to express myself far more freely thanks to it. The things I can say to people I know, and especially anonymous people (ironically the only people I can spill to) has freed me greatly.
I can't talk on the phone at all, or in person really. I met a girl for the first time in years the other night, then saw her in person and couldn't even say hi. Even now I'm too afraid to IM her, but when it comes to any form of convo, internet is the only one I can do comfortably.

As for editing, I tend not to edit my BL posts ... my journals, on the other hand, never are satisfying to me, but I usually just leave them, as I'd be editing them all night to get them "right" anyhow.

They need to have support groups for people like me, its a damn lonely life, but even when I try its to no avail.
 
This is why I try not to post that often, hence the relatively low post-count. I value my social skills and I know that if I posted all the time, both here and elsewhere, I would become more reliant on texting and essage boards to hold conversations. I'd still rather just pick up the phone where possible - it's more personal.

I already spend enough hours every day sat talking to friends on MSN Messenger=D
 
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^ so you read a lot, but don't post?

what you got to lose?

This place helps you out more with your writing skills than any AOL/MSN text service ever could.
 
I don't always feel I have that much to contribute, and I don't just post pointless posts. I **normally** only post when I feel I have something to contribute I suppose.

I need a break from Messenger too really. I'm becoming far too reliant on it but most of my friends use it. I'd probably completely loose touch with all my friends if it wasnt for messenger!:\
 
sMiLeYcHrIs said:
I don't always feel I have that much to contribute, and I don't just post pointless posts. I **normally** only post when I feel I have something to contribute I suppose.
Click to expand...

i am a communicator... always have been, when people respond in a thread i have started i like to acknowledge them. i have plenty to say about nearly everything. and i have valuable advice for everyone in need.
this leads to my post count per day being very high.
here in the anonimity of my pc environment i can share... but in my physical life and relationships i'm feeling the pressure, and its a recent development, so i'm just clutching at straws to place fault outside myself.
if its not the internet its prolly the hooter, and i'm not ready to face that yet.
 
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