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I gotta vent this :(

theartofwar

theartofwar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 29, 2009
Messages
3,263
Location
Boston
My mum and pops have been havin trouble for awhile, I found out 6 hours before he flight tonght she had bought a one way to UK. It really hurts , I want her to be happy and if its takn time away from my pops n myself understand , but am I being selfish by feeling so hurt/ abandoned? I told her I've fuckd a lot but I've spent 2 years rebuilding a loving relationship. Wtf man, when it rains..

:(
 
That sucks but in a way it's a good thing that your mum is confident enough that you'll be OK to do this - it means that you trusts in you and your recovery.

You're hurting on multiple fronts right now so your mum's absence is going to feel like abandonment, but none of us can take care of others unless we're taking care of ourselves. It sounds like your mum realises that she needs to take care of herself first right now and not be a co-creator of a hostile environment.
 
I agree Lolie,

I think I am still stunned and my gut instinct was to blame myself and not realize that its been 8 years of her saying shes leaving... maybe this will help her . i just want her to be happy , I love her so much. I do think that the manner she went out about doing it was pretty tough tbh, that REALLY hurt :(.
 
Feel sorry for you man, but maybe its for the best. My parents are at eachothers throats 24/7 and reflect their anger back at me, and I don't even live at home anymore! I've only been back for Christmas and got it in the neck every day.

Nevertheless, my relationship with my parents when I moved was actually better that it has ever been. Not being with them 24/7 made it easier to get along on the odd occasion we saw eachother. There's no gurantee she's gone forever and you can still call; if she gets the space she needs you all may find you have a better relationship on her return.
 
Thank you bro - I haven't been home for hat long just over a year now , it's odd enough but it was safe to try to distance myself from connects etc....
I agree time apart may be what she needs , in which case I'll always suppor her. It honestly the manner that she left , i found out, boom few hous later shes gone, literally.q
 
It's cool man. Yea I can only try and imagine how it feels mate, but sometimes people just need to get out of their current situation if you get me. Parents love pulling sick ones on their kids I guess.... I remember the first time I found out my dad had a girlfriend, when we went for fucking dinner with her. Complete suprise... But that was his idea of 'getting out' if you get me.

Not sure if I'm making much sense, havent slept in nearly two feckin days, and I havent even touched any powder
 
its alright man , I have awful insomnia from my ptsd No worries n congrats on putin down the powder dude , not easyl
 
How old are you if you dont mind me asking? Naa mate aint put it down, still in the honeymoon stage with it all, MDMA and coke. Only just got it uni so made alot of connects and shit. Managed to stop mephedrone though, shit burns the fuck out of me. Managing to keep my urges down though, last rolled two months ago and dont plan to roll next until the 18th...
 
I'm 25 , ill be back out on my own place in hopeflly 6 months . I cannot fucking stand bein home but i had legal isues.
 
Hey man sorry to hear about that..not selfish at all to feel hurt/abandoned, that's to be expected. My father moved out when I was a baby so I don't remember it, in a way I think it's easier that way I'm just used to it. I would imagine it's difficult when you are older.

We can't always figure out why something happens the way it does, but often things end up working out in ways that we never could have expected.
 
My mom did this before but she came back after a couple weeks, I think she just needed some time to herself, she was pissed at my dad for some bad decisions he has made in the past regarding money and some other issues. I just hung out with my dad a bunch during this period of time even though I wasn't living there at the time.

It definitely pours when it rains though, last year at this time I got in a car accident and totalled my car, broke multiple bones then got kicked out of my apartment a week later, then lost a ton of work. Still things could have been worse.

I'd just give it some time, things will resolve themselves eventually.
 
Got my firstphone call form her ,bascially she said , "I love you but it was time to start over" more or less, the detailshurt an awful lot to hear . She hasgiven m father 3 weeks time to ne anle t o maek his pig heade STUPID FUCKING MIND UP. My mum might not be the BEST person ever , but FUCK,my dad has had change s up to no end. I get it. I wih she owuldve just tol me more then a few hour s before gon cross the fuckin occ=an ;(

im real fuckin agry,i gvemy dad my gun safe keys fikc that i dont need trouble. sigh.
 
TAOW,

You already know that you are one of my most trusted, true-blue friends. I speak with you often and am ever so glad that I do. I am saddened to read that your parents are splitting up. It is not as if you are not burdened enough; when it rains, indeed.

As you know, I am a child of divorced parents, and although I was very young at the time, I live with it daily. I wonder if I had never been born whether they could have stuck it out together. My father will never remarry and my mother is now deceased.

I also know that it is pointless to speculate on others' relationships.

I told you earlier this morning that I am convinced of your indestructability - you've had a bad round of luck that doesn't seem to be stopping, but know this - you will never be given more than you can handle.

You have the friendship and fellowship of many. Your parents can sort out their own shit; I know how guilty divorcing parents can make their children. My mother turned me against my father for a lot of years, and today my father and I are business partners and best friends. You are a grown adult and I have every confidence that you will handle it.

Give Tristan (TAOW's puppy) a big hug from me, and do not be so hard on yourself. Your mother absolutely should have told you what was going on, but trust that she has her reasons. If your parents' marriage is meant to last, it will. Your first priority must remain recovery from your set of accidents - your parents are big boys and girls and they can take care of themselves.

If they start to badmouth each other in front of you, tell them to kindly STFU and that you won't be taking sides in any disputes between them.

I really hope this helps, and you know how to reach me.
 
Sorry to hear this bud :( You have every right to be angry...I rekon her own head must be all over the place right now and thats why she left so suddenly(am sure she didnt even think about what she was doing because it sound like she desperately needs some headspace, even though she could have handled the departure more tactfully).
Hope your ok? Dont go blaming yourself for any of this, kay?

If your parents' marriage is meant to last, it will. Your first priority must remain recovery from your set of accidents - your parents are big boys and girls and they can take care of themselves.
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^ Posa is so right on this! This is all out of your hands and all you have to do is look after your own feelings and look forward with your own life not theirs. <3
PM me at any time if you need to vent *Hugz*
 
Hey mr. art,

I don't know what it is like for you to be experiencing what you are going through. I don't have any frame of reference for empathy here. I do know that I read your posts daily and you seem like a very strong, determined person who is able to look at things with a keen perspective. This unfortunate event is just another stone on top of a rock pile perhaps, and I see it has come at a rough point in time especially. I hope your circling problems re: health/injury and family abate soon. Sometimes it seems like life just doesn't want to afford us the proper momentum to get things going in the right direction. You are always here on this forum with words of encouragement and faith and if anyone deserves a break it is you. My condolences and may things get better soon. Cheers
 
thanks guys n ladies ,

I am holding up pretty well - I had a very stressful few days , ending this morning. I can thankfully say I am now able to put my entire time into areas that will build me up, not bring me down. I shut a lot of doors this morning. It was very difficult - I'm sure if I wanted to I'd get em again, but I also just bought one of those new my touch 4G phones - so new phone , only keepin ppl I love on there. So ill have like 8 ppl on my numbers haha =D.

I look at it like this , everything seems wrong but some of the worst things I've been htru I certainly wasn't expecting my life to turn out this way. I never thought I would trust , love, and live a life that has fulfillment . I pray the demons stay away from me, and that I can continue on this path. I hope my mum finds the happiness I've always wanted her to have - if shes back in 2 weeks so be it, I loveher and will have open arms. If I don't see her till i go to UK again which will be a bit i will be there with open arms also.

Even a curveball can be hit out for a homerun , just takes time practice and dedication. I find when I'm backed into the corner the clarity of what matters comes to fore front

My body is beat up still , I'm trying to take it easy, this is very hard for me to do. But gettin there. Thx for support <3
 
I dont even want to give her time of day she called at 4am last night - she knows i have insomnia i rarely sleep when I do I need it badly , all shit venting self justification. I just don't have the patience to hear bullshit from a grown woman Ive stuck up for thru thick n thin when her marriage was rock bottom and she takes off. I'm pissed now so for now, fuck off, when i calm down I'll see how I feel about her and it in general. But for once im being a lil selfish and not getting run over by somebody else because I chose to be kind and people step on that for their own advantage.
 
Yeah man you have to take care of yourself too. You seem to be the type that wants to help others too so the better you feel the more energy you will have to give :)
 
theartofwar said:
I'm pissed now so for now, fuck off, when i calm down I'll see how I feel about her and it in general. But for once im being a lil selfish and not getting run over by somebody else because I chose to be kind and people step on that for their own advantage.
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More power to ya!;)<3
 
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