Long time lurker here, had many a reasons to post but this one indeed tops them all. So I decided to make a post. Well here it goes.
OK so first off I know what I'm doing is not recommended to the typical person with my diagnosis. But maybe possibly i'm not your "typical person with my diagnosis". Honestly I can't recommend this to pretty much anybody. I am diagnosed with schizo-affective bi-polar type and on meds, well that's part of the reason why I'm posting this here today. So I'll just tell you that since I am on Zoloft 50 mg, abilify 10 mg, naltrexone 25 mg and klonopin .25 mg. It is very difficult to get high on anything. I know that it's not worth my sanity and all... but my story is I've been self-medicating and actually improving since starting this med combo a handful of years ago. Mostly I just smoke pot and chill but when I was 19 I did a bunch of acid and had a bad experience and ended up in psych wards. Was alcoholic and a lot of stupid shit.
But alas I long for the spiritual different , experience and I really always have. Well you see maybe a little too much too because I really messed up at first when I wasn't really ready to handle psychs....Moving on from that. Taking a bunch of bumps of ketamine until I feel good. Smoking some DMT on it. Sends me to what I call "The vortex". Well I just discovered this today actually. Im not sure what to make of this realm ive found. Because it feels like a very personal realm. Like hardly no one else will find this realm because, why would they??
But the first time I mixed a substantial amount of dmt with ketamine I looked in the mirror and I saw visions in the mirror. I saw me morph into my abusive friend from childhood who died, I morphed into an old woman, a goblin, an Egyptian prince with grass and sea behind him. I saw things I couldn't describe. I saw the energy from the mirror, I saw scary things but cool things. So I was like this was cool and all I tell my friend and then me being my reckless self a few hours later I decide to take it to another level and I found things I wouldn't believe. It was like an experience that was so freaky and scary...I mustve blacked out. I guess I probably took 4-5 small lines of ketamine and then smoked enough dmt to make me fucking going through a fucking shit I cant even fucking explain. I met a new god. He had a long purple left arm but he was there and he was talking to me and he was telling me to do a task. But then it changed before I could. And none if it made sense. And it was in sequences. And it was hella weird. And it was more like a k-hole (which I have only achieved once in my life, I have trouble achieving but I have once) than anything but I didn't know what it was when it was happening I didn't know why i was there who I was and towards the end I tried looking in the mirror because I smoked it in front of the mirror expecting a similar result as the first one, not such as an intense experience and I remember something so real and vivid like having blood splurted everywhere. And then when I came out of it like I knew I would all of a sudden I started throwing up a little bit of nasty ketamine shit. And I looked so terribly awfully sick looking in the mirror. And shit was still very trippy. Someone was talking to me much of the time. Maybe it wouldve been less scary if i had spaced the two trips out more i thought. I think next time ill be more ready but Im not sure. And I call it the vortex.
OK so first off I know what I'm doing is not recommended to the typical person with my diagnosis. But maybe possibly i'm not your "typical person with my diagnosis". Honestly I can't recommend this to pretty much anybody. I am diagnosed with schizo-affective bi-polar type and on meds, well that's part of the reason why I'm posting this here today. So I'll just tell you that since I am on Zoloft 50 mg, abilify 10 mg, naltrexone 25 mg and klonopin .25 mg. It is very difficult to get high on anything. I know that it's not worth my sanity and all... but my story is I've been self-medicating and actually improving since starting this med combo a handful of years ago. Mostly I just smoke pot and chill but when I was 19 I did a bunch of acid and had a bad experience and ended up in psych wards. Was alcoholic and a lot of stupid shit.
But alas I long for the spiritual different , experience and I really always have. Well you see maybe a little too much too because I really messed up at first when I wasn't really ready to handle psychs....Moving on from that. Taking a bunch of bumps of ketamine until I feel good. Smoking some DMT on it. Sends me to what I call "The vortex". Well I just discovered this today actually. Im not sure what to make of this realm ive found. Because it feels like a very personal realm. Like hardly no one else will find this realm because, why would they??
But the first time I mixed a substantial amount of dmt with ketamine I looked in the mirror and I saw visions in the mirror. I saw me morph into my abusive friend from childhood who died, I morphed into an old woman, a goblin, an Egyptian prince with grass and sea behind him. I saw things I couldn't describe. I saw the energy from the mirror, I saw scary things but cool things. So I was like this was cool and all I tell my friend and then me being my reckless self a few hours later I decide to take it to another level and I found things I wouldn't believe. It was like an experience that was so freaky and scary...I mustve blacked out. I guess I probably took 4-5 small lines of ketamine and then smoked enough dmt to make me fucking going through a fucking shit I cant even fucking explain. I met a new god. He had a long purple left arm but he was there and he was talking to me and he was telling me to do a task. But then it changed before I could. And none if it made sense. And it was in sequences. And it was hella weird. And it was more like a k-hole (which I have only achieved once in my life, I have trouble achieving but I have once) than anything but I didn't know what it was when it was happening I didn't know why i was there who I was and towards the end I tried looking in the mirror because I smoked it in front of the mirror expecting a similar result as the first one, not such as an intense experience and I remember something so real and vivid like having blood splurted everywhere. And then when I came out of it like I knew I would all of a sudden I started throwing up a little bit of nasty ketamine shit. And I looked so terribly awfully sick looking in the mirror. And shit was still very trippy. Someone was talking to me much of the time. Maybe it wouldve been less scary if i had spaced the two trips out more i thought. I think next time ill be more ready but Im not sure. And I call it the vortex.
