• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

i finally beat a coke craving tonight

infantannihilator

infantannihilator

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
899
Location
Canada
im pretty proud of myself.. i only had enough on me for 3-4 satisfactory shots - lets face it, near death, slash on the verge of blackout/ seizure is the pnly shot worth it..

when I crave, I am not myself. Another entity takes control. The very fact I beat this tonight I consider a massive hurdle
 
i want to die\
i hate wgat ive become

im nit even a person anymore.. im a vessel for the conversion of drugs.. just a wasteful chemical imbalance
 
Your getting played by yourself. <3 YOU want YOU to buy into the BS that you're a piece of shit and it hopeless. People who loose hope are a pushover to concur;) Don't buy into your shit!!

Keep it simple and learn to ignore that nasty voice in your head. Its the voice of a meglomaniac fool we all have in us. Once we figure out how to beat it down it falls back into line behind us.

Might want to take a gander at this thread and esp the divided self portion. Your doing amazing=D

Addiction is such a sneaky bastard.. it drives us to do insane things and then tries to use powerful emotion based off those insane things to drive us to do more insane things. Its a mind fuck please don't fall for it!!

The Brain and Addiction
 
whymust it be like this? i mever feel right. never in my life have i ever felt just "good" to be alivd.. its shit.. then drugnintensity...the darkest black to the incomprehensible that borders on so ibsane that my brain has to shut down..

how can i deel comfy in my own skin, if I neverhave?

as I think I alluded.. druga have never either.. they go beyond into the false for lack of better term..

paws for year?

its so daunting..
 
Paws don't last for years.. see that hopeless aspect creeping in? Wants to make you think things will never get better. Its full of shit!

What are you all comming off ia? Cause I can probably give you a pretty strong run of what your looking at.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top