Crystal un-clear
Greenlighter
Good morning,
You probably don't remember me, my name is ........ I was a patient of yours at the ......... medical clinic
nearly 2 years ago.
I know it may seem bizarre to email you know however for the last 2
years I have been living .................. lovely place but
medical services not up to scratch.
You may still have on file, we had some recurring visits over a 2
month period, and the result of this was to prescribe me an anti
depressant for the treatment of SAD, lexapro 10mg. Initially I was
very happy with the drug, other than a few obvious side effects. Due
to these I discontinued use, unfortunately this was self guided, as
there is little to no advice to be had in this country.
I'm emailing now in hope for you to perhaps recommend someone I could
converse with online or even just your opinion on some problems I've
been having. I know you don't offer a free online diagnosis program,
but was happy with previous visits and quite honestly didn't know
where else to turn.
When doing my own research, it seems a lot of the 'symptoms' are that
of S.A.D, but really hard to get a conclusive result based on other
people’s opinions/symptoms.
I have a massive problem with regret, only with social situations. At
times, it is enough to stop me in the street, and almost physical, I
will get a heartburn type feel in my chest and stomach, at times,
especially when I'm alone, I'll 'heat up' over the situation, my
temper boils, and I'll verbally abuse(out loud) the people
involved/myself or the situation in general. At times, this can be
regarding something that happened a near decade ago, in junior high
school.
In fact it seems to accentuate over time, I will analyse my behaviour
and others reactions to it, in a social situation afterwards, hours or
even days on, and at times be ok with it, other times not. But it may
be months or even years down the track that I will begin to feel
massive amounts of shame, embarrassment and regret of how I 'handled'
myself, even though at the time, and immediately after it seems to be
ok.
At times, I feel these symptoms of regret could be border line panic
attacks. My heart beat skyrockets, and I truly just want to find a
hole somewhere and hideaway until it's over.
I know this all may sound rather crazy but it is effecting me to the
point of developing compulsive habits, I flip a coin, heads or tails,
this tends to make a lot of my decisions, regarding social activities,
whether I attend a party or work function, or even go out on now
years, I think on some level I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision,
this had developed into me becoming quite anxious if I don’t have a
coin to flip.
The problem is most severe with peers, people my own age, I become
anxious before an event, and at times am so put off by this angst or
even by their presence, I behave irrationally against the norm, and
regret it more. Also, it is strong around 'father figures' my dad left
when I was young and I still have problems around older males. I even
regret things with my ex girlfriend, we broke up due to nothing more
than distance, as she left to study, but have now managed to convince
myself she
looks down on me, due to things I did in the relationship that I know
she liked, simple things like birthday presents I got her now seem
like a stupid idea.
I am not attempting to label myself with anything, and I don't have
anything close to hypochondria, however I am realistic, and know that
this is a real issue; if it can be fixed I'll do what it takes.
I have tried a lot of remedies aside from the medication you
prescribed. I diarised social interactions, in particular, my feelings
on the matter afterwards, this made sense at the time, but weeks later
I would tear up the pages, regretting even writing it down, I managed
to convince myself the feelings I had immediately after, were
obsolete, incorrect and I was self-aggrandising and disillusioned at
the time.
I have tried meditation, I find this extremely difficult, beyond
putting into words and my mind always over powers any attempt I make
to clear it, with scattered thoughts about social interactions. I find
regularly I put myself into the mind of others viewing myself as they
would, at times its positive, more often than not negative, the people
I may be viewing me from are people I went to class with in year 8 or
9.
I know this was a rather large read, any opinion or advice is much appreciated.
Kind regards
You probably don't remember me, my name is ........ I was a patient of yours at the ......... medical clinic
nearly 2 years ago.
I know it may seem bizarre to email you know however for the last 2
years I have been living .................. lovely place but
medical services not up to scratch.
You may still have on file, we had some recurring visits over a 2
month period, and the result of this was to prescribe me an anti
depressant for the treatment of SAD, lexapro 10mg. Initially I was
very happy with the drug, other than a few obvious side effects. Due
to these I discontinued use, unfortunately this was self guided, as
there is little to no advice to be had in this country.
I'm emailing now in hope for you to perhaps recommend someone I could
converse with online or even just your opinion on some problems I've
been having. I know you don't offer a free online diagnosis program,
but was happy with previous visits and quite honestly didn't know
where else to turn.
When doing my own research, it seems a lot of the 'symptoms' are that
of S.A.D, but really hard to get a conclusive result based on other
people’s opinions/symptoms.
I have a massive problem with regret, only with social situations. At
times, it is enough to stop me in the street, and almost physical, I
will get a heartburn type feel in my chest and stomach, at times,
especially when I'm alone, I'll 'heat up' over the situation, my
temper boils, and I'll verbally abuse(out loud) the people
involved/myself or the situation in general. At times, this can be
regarding something that happened a near decade ago, in junior high
school.
In fact it seems to accentuate over time, I will analyse my behaviour
and others reactions to it, in a social situation afterwards, hours or
even days on, and at times be ok with it, other times not. But it may
be months or even years down the track that I will begin to feel
massive amounts of shame, embarrassment and regret of how I 'handled'
myself, even though at the time, and immediately after it seems to be
ok.
At times, I feel these symptoms of regret could be border line panic
attacks. My heart beat skyrockets, and I truly just want to find a
hole somewhere and hideaway until it's over.
I know this all may sound rather crazy but it is effecting me to the
point of developing compulsive habits, I flip a coin, heads or tails,
this tends to make a lot of my decisions, regarding social activities,
whether I attend a party or work function, or even go out on now
years, I think on some level I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision,
this had developed into me becoming quite anxious if I don’t have a
coin to flip.
The problem is most severe with peers, people my own age, I become
anxious before an event, and at times am so put off by this angst or
even by their presence, I behave irrationally against the norm, and
regret it more. Also, it is strong around 'father figures' my dad left
when I was young and I still have problems around older males. I even
regret things with my ex girlfriend, we broke up due to nothing more
than distance, as she left to study, but have now managed to convince
myself she
looks down on me, due to things I did in the relationship that I know
she liked, simple things like birthday presents I got her now seem
like a stupid idea.
I am not attempting to label myself with anything, and I don't have
anything close to hypochondria, however I am realistic, and know that
this is a real issue; if it can be fixed I'll do what it takes.
I have tried a lot of remedies aside from the medication you
prescribed. I diarised social interactions, in particular, my feelings
on the matter afterwards, this made sense at the time, but weeks later
I would tear up the pages, regretting even writing it down, I managed
to convince myself the feelings I had immediately after, were
obsolete, incorrect and I was self-aggrandising and disillusioned at
the time.
I have tried meditation, I find this extremely difficult, beyond
putting into words and my mind always over powers any attempt I make
to clear it, with scattered thoughts about social interactions. I find
regularly I put myself into the mind of others viewing myself as they
would, at times its positive, more often than not negative, the people
I may be viewing me from are people I went to class with in year 8 or
9.
I know this was a rather large read, any opinion or advice is much appreciated.
Kind regards
