I dont know what to do about her

[Savagelac704]

he other night, a female friend of mine who I'm crushin on invited me to go to the bar with her. She was havin a bad day I guess. This dude she was "talking" to for a month, broke it off with her that day.

This girl I like does alot of opiates. Crack, snorting heroin, pills, etc:. Me however, I don't do drugs. I smoke weed and drink. That's about as far as ima take it.

Anyway, she knows how much I care about her but everytime I try to talk to her about it, she does her best to avoid the conversation. I've known her since I was 15. I'm 26 now. I figured a conversation of that nature would be easy to talk about. I even tried texting her about it thinking maybe it'd be easier for her to open up, but she comes out and says that she doesn't like txtn bout that kind of stuff and that we should do it in person . When the time comes and we see each other, she just avoids it.

I don't understand what's going on. We've had sex before. We've kissed a couple times on random hangouts. But we're still not dating yet? Why??? I have a theory though. All the other guys she has been with are into the drugs that she's into. Is she passing me up cause I don't get down like that??

Back to what happened the other night. She picks me up around 10pm and we head to the bar. The whole way their, she's hitting her crack through a tire gauge. All while she's driving with her knees. And on 3 separate times that night, she literally searches for crack in her car claiming she doesn't want it lying around in her car. Eventually we show up the bar and get some drinks. So we're sitting at a table and all she's doing is txtn that dude that left her. She spent 75% of the night doing that. She claims she doesn't want him back . I told her she was being rude and that she's the one who invited me out. I think I deserved her undivided attention...

She's such a sweet girl with a beautiful personality and great potential to succeed, but she's going down a path that I just can't follow.

I don't know what to do here. I don't even know how she feels about me. When she's on drugs, it's hard to read her. I'm in love with her. I just want who she used to be. Can any females here relate to her? Can someone give me some insight on how she may feel about me?

 

[llama112]

You can date someone and be into different drugs as long as you both respect each other and it isn't causing danger to the other person.
If you don't like what she does then it seems like the problem may lie with you. It's hard to tell my your post if you are accepting of her or not. If you are accepting, then make sure she knows it. If not, then you need to get over it. Sorry to be blunt.

 

[cashfl0w_d0nkey]

^ If she's driving around with her knees while she smokes crack and carpet surfs for "dropped crack", then she's a clear danger to herself and others.

Dude. This is not the kind of girl you want to be in a relationship with. How many red flags do you need before you decide it's a bad idea? Smoking crack while driving, texting her ex while she is with you...? This girl is not relationship material (right now at least) and trying to change her is asking for problems.

I'm in love with her.

we're still not dating

Really?

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

I think when someone is addicted to drugs... they ain't looking for love... they're looking for drugs. Hence why she's still hooked on her ex.. drugs. Ain't nothing personal. Time to move on dude.

 

[pofacedhoe]

she's a mess you are not

find someone who isn't picking crap off their car floor thinking its crack. wtf. thats butters behaviour

 

[crzydiamond]

I think when someone is addicted to drugs... they ain't looking for love... they're looking for drugs. Hence why she's still hooked on her ex.. drugs. Ain't nothing personal. Time to move on dude.

This. Times ten

And in a completely nonjudgmental way. I'm about 3 yrs clean but was in and out of heroin addiction for 22 years. Believe me when I tell you that when you are using to that extent you are simply not capable of a real relationship. The drugs are your lover, your best friend, your need, your everything

It not a situation of dating someone who may use on a weekend or something. She's using hardcore, probably has a dependency. She isn't capable of loving you right now. And to be honest , you don't want this kind of codependent "relationship". Maybe when she cleans up down the road...but you can't fix her, you can't change where she is at. If someday she decides to, great. Til then, stay far away (relationship wise), of course you can always be a friend to her.


And above all, you're correct, don't follow her down that road.

Support her, be a friend, listen, and don't pressure her for something she's in no frame of mind to give you (a relationship). Addicts are notoriously selfish, it becomes all about the drugs--family, friends, bf/gf are in for heartache...and it doesn't make her a bad person. She just isn't healthy right now.

 

[My3sons]

You could totally do better. Run for the hills. It's easier to drag one down than pull one up.

 

[d0wN]

That's not how you get down?

Yeah, you know what, IMA let this one pass yo.