I don't know anymore...

bluedusk

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 11, 2010
Messages
79
Location
Toronto
Once upon a time i took dxm and decided to smoke alot of weed. Now i believe the only experience i had with dxm has caused me life long problems that no doctor or psychiatrist is willing to take seriously. Severe upper back pains on the left side, chest pains, controlled breathing and i can go on for minutes. Now weed will amplify this 10 fold, but i don't smoke anymore so that is not my issue. The only remedy is taking lots of ativan and even then the pain will break through and force me to use even more. Currently i'm scripted 120 0.5mg pills and 30 1mg from a seperate doctor and i am so sick and tired of using these pills to fix this problem that i have been living with for two years before recently getting my script. I can already tell that at this rate i may become to dependant on these pills and i can honestly say that if they ever stopped working i might not have the will power to fight through these pains i experience, Most people experience anxiety alot differently and to me should be grateful to not experience physical symptoms, and i basically pray myself to sleep everynight wishing that i could wake up one day and feel like i did before my experience.. where anxiety was minor and did not cause so much discomfort all the time.

What is killing me more than anything is that i go through test after test and everything is always completely normal. and the only thing that can make me feel better is constantly being on the move or keeping myself occupied and happy, but it's not always possible to do so, especially at bed time or when just chilling with friends. To make things even worse i am usually a very happy person and people have even been telling me i seem so much brighter since i quit smoking weed everyday allday, and that may be true as i try to act as well as possible but again i can not ignore my own pain and when it gets bad i always spiral in to a pit of anger/sadness/depression that will last only a couple hours each day. I find myself taking atleast 4mg of ativan a day just to keep my pain below the point where i will not rip my hair out and end my life over, 4mg to me is RIDICULOUS because i only started taking it less than two weeks ago, constantly i think about finding the strongest drugs to try and fix myself but i always wait and tell myself that maybe time will be my best option, 2 years of waiting it out has really sent me to the point of trying everything and anything that may somehow reset my brain back to how it was.

I understand that taking drugs is not the best way to deal with any problems, but if anyone has heard of or tried something with potential to something i am looking for then please post up, but i do fully realize that drugs are almost never a fix, I'm just at my last straw and at my age i should not be like this..
 
it sounds like its all psychosomatic and you have anxiety problems.

especially since ativan helps so much and its used for anxiety and not pain. Whoever prescribed you the ativan mustve mentioned this to you?
 
Once upon a time i took dxm and decided to smoke alot of weed. Now i believe the only experience i had with dxm has caused me life long problems that no doctor or psychiatrist is willing to take seriously. Severe upper back pains on the left side, chest pains, controlled breathing and i can go on for minutes. Now weed will amplify this 10 fold, but i don't smoke anymore so that is not my issue. The only remedy is taking lots of ativan and even then the pain will break through and force me to use even more. Currently i'm scripted 120 0.5mg pills and 30 1mg from a seperate doctor and i am so sick and tired of using these pills to fix this problem that i have been living with for two years before recently getting my script.

Hi bluedusk, sorry to hear that you're struggling so much with this. You mentioned psychiatrists, how many have you seen for this problem, and how long were you seeing each one?
Anxiety can be medicated but especially severe anxiety often needs to be treated with therapy as well as meds in order to really get to the root of the problem.
 
I have looked through a lot of these types of posts over the last few days and yours is the only one that seems kind of similar to my situation. I too used to like smoking weed and experimenting with other psychedelics, in fact i loved every one i tried , even dxm the first 3 times. One of those times i smoked on it and it was even better than the previous two. I found smoking on other psychedelics greatly enhanced the experience as well, and i was comfortable with anywhere my mind went.
Then i was bored one day and smoked on a particularly high dose of dxm for me (about 710mg) and had a pretty bad trip where i thought i was going to die from heart failure or something and had to wander around outside all night to calm myself down

I was fine for almost a week afterwards, carried on smoking and drinking with friends like normal, but then one day i smoked and it was like randomly experiencing the fear and anxiety of that dxm trip again, manifested not only mentally but physically similar to what you had mentioned.

It has been almost 6 days since this day i smoked(one and a half weeks since the trip) and i have been having strange symptoms, chest pains and tightness(i cant tell if they are real but the pain and fear that something is wrong with me is very real), also really wierd emotional stuff like i can only feel a representation of an emotion at times yet not the real thing like i used to feel. It fluctuates between better and worse but the thing that gets me is i cant ever relax or just do nothing, i seem to have developed almost insomnia like i cant fall asleep because of a wierd feeling in my chest/heart combined with anxiety about this feeling. I have to basically let my body get so tired that i have to sleep.

I thought it was serotonin syndrome at first but that makes no sense seeing as for about a week after the trip i was fine and had a normal level of happiness and sleepiness

I just wanted to know if any of this sounds similar to what you went through or what can you suggest? also do you remember how soon after the dxm these symptoms set in? any advice would be much appreciated!!!
 
Hello I just wanted to comment on this I had similar issues e.g. headaches, pressure in head, dizziness, insomnia, pressure behind eyes, depersonalization (which fucking sucks) and severe anxiety. My problems started after I had a bad trip from synthetic weed which was my first bad trip I ever had. Before these happened I felt great almost all the time and I loved my life. I would love to go out and meet new people, but after the bad trip the anxiety made me so sick to be in public I would just stay at home. The only thing that I found to help was exercising, keeping myself busy and time. It now has been six months since that bad trip and though I feel some much better I still suffer from some issues like depression and always having this feeling that something bad is going to happen. I would also add stop doing all drugs right now or ween off of them slowing and drink lots of water and get plenty of rest.
 
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