I am my own worst enemy

[Cady565]

Hello Bluelight-
I am happy that I found this website. I am a heroin addict, and while I do not wish anyone else to have to go to the struggles I have introduced into my life, it is nice to know that I am not alone. It is nice to know that there is a place I can come to have intelligent discussions about my issues. As I type, there is an omnipresent aching in my right hand because of how many times I have missed while attempting to inject. This was never supposed to be my reality. People always told me growing up, and still tell me, that I am so pretty, so smart, and have such potential. I am (was?) an artist, a poet, a musician, a writer. Also, before my headfirst plunge into this drug scene that I now surround myself with, I began looking into metaphysical studies, getting in touch with the Earth and its energies. I feel like that is all gone now. I hardly even play the guitar anymore because I am basically either high or withdrawing. I really don't know how or when I am ever going to beat this thing. I know that I am not myself, and that this drug has taken everything from me, and sadly, at the same time, I can't wait for the dope man to show up and drop of my evening's dose.

I don't really know what else to say.

Also- how the hell do I get a profile picture on this thing?

 

[JessFR]

Hi Cady565. I know your pain all too well. I'm high on IV heroin right now, ive spent a fortune, fucked up my life, and disappointed and hurt the people I love the most because of my addiction. The emotional pain I feel caused by my addiction alone is enough to make me wanna numb myself on heroin, let alone all the emotional pain that lead me to using in the first place. It's a shitty situation to be in. But we're not alone, at least there's that. There are many who are suffering just as we do. If you ever need someone to talk to or wanna share what you're going through with someone, you can contact me on Skype. Let me know, and good luck.

 

[DoesntLearn]

I am in the same boat. I had quit for awhile, about 5 years actually, but some shitty stuff happened in my life and i ended up turning back to my long lost friend of heroin. Working on atleast slowing back down and beginning to think about quitting again, but for now only time will tell me when im ready for sure. I dont really have many friends left although there are 1 or 2 people i talk to and will go to when i need someone but for the most part i am a hobbit. One day at a time, atleast im alive. That is how i look at life for right now. I will figure it out eventually, maybe, hopefully before it is too late. Anyway, cheers, and may this new year bring cheap and good drugs to those who want them and an easy detox and recovery to those who want out. Basically i hope life is good and works out the way you want it to rather than be a bitch this year.