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i almost died yesterday!

dj_esky

dj_esky

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Joined
Jul 14, 2004
Messages
395
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writing Hardstyle and Hardcore Gabber, lost in rea
{to moderators, please relocate my thread if its in the wrong place}

from massive depression yesterday I decided that i didn't want to live anymore, But i stupidly took action to try and end my life.
around 10:am I consumed 55+ Dex-amphetamine 5mg thats 275mg +,
everything was going fine until i started getting extremely shaky and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

I managed to find my phone and dialed Life Line (AU 131114), I was phasing in and out of consciousness while on the phone, I made sure my front door was unlocked.
when the ambo's arrived I was still in bed, from here I only remember bits and pieces. I was strapped into a stretcher. Next thing I know I was in the emergency room in hospital with the heart monitor alarm getting louder and louder.

the doctors gave me 10+ shots of Valium to try and slow my body down, all the time from what they tell me, my Heart was pumping around 219BPM, My eyes were rolling back in my head and I was having multiple seizures and convulsing muscles, sweating like crazy i drenched the bedsheets in sweat.

its now the next day
I just got released from hospital 1 hour ago.

Overall its the scariest thing I've ever been through in my life.
because the hospital is only around the corner from where i live, I'm going to get regular checkups to make sure i'm okay.
and i'm just still dealing with cramps in my muscles and arms.
I'm so lucky I called life line before It was too late.
 
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I've had similar experiences when I've overdosed on stimulants - methamphetamine, dextro-amphetamine, MDMA, etc. Unfortunately due to the high dose of benzos I was also taking at the time, diazepam did very little to lower my heart rate. Instead I needed more potent drugs like midazolam and haloperidol (I was also psychotic). It's very scary, and I think it would be a horrible way to die. You're lucky you called for help and made it through!
 
esky, I am so glad you made it through mate. It sounds like a really horrible and scary experience with some nasty side effects that you're experiencing now. I hope this has scared you straight and that you will get the help you need to deal with your depression effectively. Are you seeing a psych/counsellor?? Are you on any meds to try and help with your depression?
Please take care of yourself okay? <3
 
Curious why you attempted suicide but then called for help. Also, why weren't you sectioned? If you are reaching out for help for crying out loud SCREAM for it! Make someone listen to you. I don't get why they would stabilize you and then send you on your way. Get some help and don't resort to attempting suicide to find it next time.
 
^ Sometimes attempting suicide seems like the only way to make people take you seriously.

Not that I'm condoning or encouraging it - I'm just saying from my own experiences.
 
Reminds me of my teenage years. Never overdosed on stimulants. Mostly psychiatric medicines.

Anyone ever had their stomach pumped and been force-fed activated charcoal?

fun fun.
 
Sweet P, I get what you are saying but really it's a cry for help which one really should find a way around. If I walked in on someone laying on the floor who had OD'd I would call that a suicide attempt. Naturally, I would call 911...I'm not being mean. It's just that I always think no one will take the person serious after they try it once and then call someone. The boy who cried wolf thing...

What kind of place would send a person home after they do that though?
 
Help me please said:
Curious why you attempted suicide but then called for help. Also, why weren't you sectioned? If you are reaching out for help for crying out loud SCREAM for it! Make someone listen to you. I don't get why they would stabilize you and then send you on your way. Get some help and don't resort to attempting suicide to find it next time.
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because there is a hospital around the corner, they are sending someone here every day to keep an eye on me.

I chose that option mainly because
1: the option exists.
2: i felt bad that i was been held there after i calmed down and someone in a more critical condition than mine needed a bed.


n3ophy7e said:
esky, I am so glad you made it through mate. It sounds like a really horrible and scary experience with some nasty side effects that you're experiencing now. I hope this has scared you straight and that you will get the help you need to deal with your depression effectively. Are you seeing a psych/counsellor?? Are you on any meds to try and help with your depression?
Please take care of yourself okay? <3
Click to expand...

I'm not going to be taking any antidepressants because my dad takes them and he goes crazy even if he misses 1 dose and i don't want to become an addict to a substance like my dad's on thats a temporary fix for a permanent problem that can be solved through training your brain to avoid depressing situations,

I keep myself as occupied as i can avoid depression. I'm fixing my push bike at the same time i'm on here now.

I'm also in the process of mastering a new hardstyle track that i wrote
 
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What got you down buddy? You a furry or something and 4chan getting to your head?

I'm not sure if you would have died though, stimulants aren't really that likely to kill you I believe (depends on your tolerance I suppose), however there could be permanent damage, probably not in your case.

You doing better now?
 
my reeason on taking an attempt on my life was, My girlfriend that i was going to propose to (I had just bought her an engagement ring) i was about to propose the on a saturday, yet the day before she told me that she had found someone else and moved on with them. we were together for 5 years.
 
dj_esky said:
I'm not going to be taking any antidepressants because my dad takes them and he goes crazy even if he misses 1 dose and i don't want to become an addict to a substance like my dad's on thats a temporary fix for a permanent problem that can be solved through training your brain to avoid depressing situations,
Click to expand...

Not all anti-depressants are addictive. You recently quit meth/amphetamines, didn't you? Maybe something like Wellbutrin (a dopamine/norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) could work for you. It's non addictive and has few side effects compared to a lot of other anti-depressants. Medication and therapy are often the best combination for fighting depression.
 
Whoa, I'm glad you were able to call for help before things got worse. That all just sounds so scary!
Gonna go out for some bike rides? Exercise is great for depression :) Well, it is once you get your depressed butt up and actually make yourself do it, you know?

Try some omega-3's. I'm bipolar and it's supposed to be good for depression. I really should take it.
And a therapist can really help if you get a good one. I refused meds first time around (before they found I was bipolar) and my doc helped me find other ways to deal with depression & anxiety.

Anyway, I'm happy you got through it and that you're here now.

Edit: I'm sorry to hear about your (ex) girlfriend. :(
 
dj_esky said:
I'm not going to be taking any antidepressants because my dad takes them and he goes crazy even if he misses 1 dose and i don't want to become an addict to a substance like my dad's on thats a temporary fix for a permanent problem that can be solved through training your brain to avoid depressing situations.
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Fair enough mate. I can understand that seeing your dad like that with meds would turn you off using them yourself, and I agree that our brains can be capable of re-learning how to be happy or how to have more constructive thoughts. You don't have to try meds, as others in this thread have said, there are other ways to treat/manage depression.

Sometimes our depression gets to a point where we need professional help though, where we can no longer deal with it on our own, and there is absolutely no shame in that. If you're making attempts to end your life, it sounds like you're at the point where you need help. Do you see a counsellor at all?
 
n3ophy7e said:
Fair enough mate. I can understand that seeing your dad like that with meds would turn you off using them yourself, and I agree that our brains can be capable of re-learning how to be happy or how to have more constructive thoughts. You don't have to try meds, as others in this thread have said, there are other ways to treat/manage depression.

Sometimes our depression gets to a point where we need professional help though, where we can no longer deal with it on our own, and there is absolutely no shame in that. If you're making attempts to end your life, it sounds like you're at the point where you need help. Do you see a counsellor at all?
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I will be now:')
 
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