BrenDiWe1610
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Heya everyone, I'm B-man and I'm an addict serving three months in a johannesburg based rehabilitation place, I've been in here 7 days after a 9 day binge after believing a was alright after a month of being in here for alchahole, energy drinks, kat and marijuana used day in and day out for 8 months and man did it take its toll, I decided for myself that enough was enough after believing that it was actually helping when infact a really wasn't going anywhere, my folks cried when they found out what I was doing after having to move back in with them when I was using 99% of my income on drugs, the last 7 days of detox have been pretty hectic coz I've been feeling so drained and haven't had any motivation what so ever to do anything at all except sleep all day and not say anything to any of my fellow inmates that are pretty proud of me for coming back after I relapsed pretty bad, I've been feeling as if I've been in a dream when I've been awake but today I've been feeling as if I'm coming right, I've been chatting to guys and watching the sevens rugby and miss world pagent, its good to see our country doing well and at a point I got really sad that if I wasn't caught up in drug abuse I wouldve been at the stadium shouting and supporting with one or two beers being waved in the air, it hit me today that I might never be able to enjoy the the things that normal society has to offer because I'm scared that if I do have one or two beers and cheer along with the rest of the country I'd be on the phone to my dealer in minutes, will I ever be part of society like I was before my drugging started, I can make a move to anywhere in the world but I'm just too darn chicken to move out of my town maybe because I feel as if I'm too grounded and supported there or I have the fear that I might fail somewhere else and have no-one to fall back on if I can find a job anywhere else, I have re-occuring dreams of pure bliss and happiness of being at the coast or in a foreign land, I'm a qualified bmw diagnostic technitian. But have a fear of no knowing if ill be ok tomorrow, is this the addict within me talking? What would Be ones best plan of action once coming out of rehab? I can basically start off brandnew fresh elsewhere or try cope and manage a new life in my old town, what would be the best route to take, I don't want to be an addict forever and truly do want a beautifull girlfriend to call my own, and I know that if I follow the 12 steps ill be ok, will I need to work the 12 steps for the rest of my life or will this part of my life eventually phase out and be a memory, I want so many awesome things but just not sure of what to do after my three months is up.. Does anyone have a similar story and if so.. Was the move totally worth it? Anways this is my hello and hope to chat sOon wirg successors after the grip the devil had on them?? 
many thanks guys and gals :y
many thanks guys and gals :y
