Funnily enough I started clubbing underage after I commited complete forgery by going to the RTA with my older friend's papers and getting a fake driver's license.
The reason I wanted the ID was so I could see this 'unknown' band (back then) who was only playing gigs in pubs. I LOVED this band...I HAD to go. Anyway, we got the ID, saw the band (ash. I PASHED TIM WHEELER!) .. had a great time.
Then, a group of people from my gym (laugh all you like, yeah I used to be a gym junkie) were going out to dinner and then a club afterwards. I thought 'hey i got this ID now, may aswell use it'. So I went to my local club and danced like a maniac for 4 hours. Granted it was a shitty club, but I had fun. I was hooked.
I was still at school and my 2 local clubs had nights happening on Sunday, Wednesday and Fridays. I used to go every single night and dance like a maniac. My mum knew, she thought it was fine, as long as I went to school the next day. My brother used to be there sometimes so it was all good.
I went to clubs for about a 18months before I ever took anything. At first I wasn't that aware of drugs in the scene, I didn't know much about them, and it didn't really effect me. When I found out what some of my friends (mainly my brother's friends) were doing, I was even more determined to dance harder than them, stay up later than them etc etc...and most of the time I did. I still dont know how
I was SO against drugs. SO very against them, but like I said...I didn't know anything about them. Then my mum found out about my brother. Shit hit the fan and I was so diappointed. He had always been such a straighty one eighty, and now he was taking DRUGS??? Well, one morning my brother came home after a huge weekend, pretty smashed now that I think of it
, and he sat me and my mum down, talked to us for a good 1/2 hour, held a decent conversation, blah blah..then he said:
"I'm on ecstasy, in fact, I'm flying pret-ty high right now"
Lol...we were so shocked. Then he proceeded to educate us. We sat in silent wonderment (well at least *I* did)
He told us stats, ingredients, how it feels, did the whole 'why it's better than alcohol' thing...well, I was sold. Little did he know what his little ANTI DRUG ADVOCATE sister was planning. (and by the way...I know SO much more than HIS sorry ass about drugs now
, thanks Bluelight) My mum is really cool about things too. She knows pretty much everything, and has even popped a few pills herself.."My god, I understand WHY you do this now!"
Blah blah this is way too long...went to a club, decided once I was there that I wanted to try one...my friend (my brother's best friend) told me she would go halvies. I don't even know what it was... I don't know if it did anything...I can't really remember. I also tried speed for the first time that night too. I did dance like crazy...my brother 'did' find out (I was too scared he'd call me a hypocrite if I told him), and I did feel MUCH more awake at 10am the next morning as we stumbled out of the club...
My first pill wasn't very memorable at all. Kind of disappointing. I think I thought it was because I only had a half. From then on I never took halves. I kind of regret that, and I'm trying to start doing it now...your pills last LOTS longer that way.
One thing I'm proud of though, is that alot of people are complaining about how they've lost the magic. How nothing's ever as good as the first few times. Well, I went through my stage of feeling that..I had a little break, and NOW...now, with every time I go out, I feel I get a little bit more out of what I'm doing. Whether it be that I dance more, talk more, whatever...I enjoy it WAY more now than I EVER used to.
I think that's got alot to do with my attitude, and the people I surround myself with, the fact that i appreciate the music so much more...and go out for the music, not just to socialse.
But yeah, ultimately it's up to you. Don't blame the new school drugs. Step back and have a look at what you're doing, how you're doing it and who you're doing it with. It's not supposed to become routine. When it does..that's when you need to pull back for a while.
Trust me, once you sort this out...it only gets better.
Shit. I didn't mean to write that much.
LOL...only I could announce my 'break' from Bluelight only to come back and post like 10 times more than I ever have before...thanks for putting up with my endless crap.
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sunshine,smiles and stardust
mona
