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Mental Health How to stop obsessive rambling?

M

Memnoth

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Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
23
I'm struggling with heavy amphetamine addiction while suffering from the diagnoses: Asperger Syndrome, Bipolar Disorder and ADD. Now, an event occurred, in which a girl, that I happen to be lightly infatuated with, said I did a specific thing in a bumptious manner. At first, I found myself confused as I've never really taken the patience to learn what that means, so I decided to inject amphetamine into my veins and study this phenomenon. For days on end, without any form of break, I accumulated information from the internet, going from the topic bumptious to the definition of self-absorbed to information about the negative state of high self-importance, cognitive dissonance, alexithymia, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and so on. After I was done consuming knowledge I had to cogitate it, so I laid down on my couch and contemplated about the topics, trying to intertwine them and extemporaneously engage my thoughts in a philosophical manner about communication in general, the psychological, sociological and psychiatric aspects of it.

Did you know the word Autism comes from the greek word Autos, which means self-absorbed? This made me realize something, I often ramble about my own concerns and general thoughts in normal everyday conversation. I decided to inquire one of my closest friends: "Am I bumptious?", he responded "It's not that bad.". I can feel the self-important ramble on my tongue and I just start yapping til my focus has shifted onto something else. I have made this into a routine in everyday communication and am experiencing anxiety. I am afraid my Asperger Syndrome is too severe for me to actually be able to fully understand the tender rules of neurotypical communication. When I met with the friends of a friend one time (because I felt isolated), he told me afterwards: "They thought you were bumptious.".

My current adaption seems less than effective, where I do what I normally do via text messages to a person and later simply adding "Sorry about my rambling.". Could be circumstantial, though the reaction is pretty consistent; when I type a lot of long messages to people: They stop responding. Maybe I'm experiencing extra anxiety about this since I haven't taken my Bipolar medication for 3 whole days, and as a recovering alcoholic (alcohol abuse worsens the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder), my Bipolar is pretty severe. Maybe that's why I'm so obsessive about it, or obsessive in general about everything for that matter, there seems to be no "sit back and relax"-button on me, which is why I hardly ever get any sleep by the way. I take 8 different forms of medication daily as prescribed by different psychiatrists.

How do I make the situation more comfortable for both myself and those around me?
 
Speaking from my own experience with bipolar disorder as well as being a meth addict/alcoholic, who also has experience regarding a mistake involving a woman with whom I have a slight infatuation with and I really don't know why, aside from I admire her discipline and work ethic.

Why are you taking eight medications prescribed by different psychiatrists? I don't imagine that they are all of the same page with one another, so maybe start there. If you choose to disregard that piece, do as you please, you are your own person. Now, speaking from experience, you should resume your medications and probably go to sleep, because I do not think you would be too sleepy after an injection of such a powerful stimulant. After you are medicated, well rested, and have been fed; please know that I too struggle with rambling, both in conversations (verbal and texting) as well as posting on here. I have written some extremely lengthy posts on here. Do you think maybe this incessant rambling due to the anxiety you feel stems from insecurities? It does with my own and I do it because I like to write my thoughts and feelings down where I can get feedback, much like you are doing now. I joined Bluelight because the moderators here do a much better job keeping things under control than on drugs-forum, in addition to the community in general being much more cooperative and friendly with each other and newcomers... and most importantly because I wanted to blog my thoughts and daily happenings, but was unaware of the "fifty posts" policy. I respect that policy because it keeps its members active in order to enjoy the full benefits of the community, but for hell sake it takes forever, especially when you are me.

To make the situation more comfortable: quit talking as much. You would be surprised as to how much you will learn about yourself, if you take the time to observe others, especially people you dislike. Coming from a complete stranger, if you were to ask me if I thought you were "bumptious"based on one post? Yes, you are. I am also aware that I have a tendancy to be just as arrogant (and scatter brained.). Not as arrogant as Nicholas Cage, though. You're not Nicholas Cage status either as far as I can tell... Good luck on shutting up. It can be difficult sometimes.
 
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If you were to list the meds and drugs you're taking, other members could have input on possible interactions and alternatives. It would seem difficult for anyone to have balance with that many medications, but it doesn't read as though you're struggling mentally, i.e. your post is intelligently composed with descriptive and captivating elements.

I've also had issues with analyzing details, approaching disturbing levels of neuroticism, especially concerning attempts to convey thoughts to others. Interactions luckily improve somewhat with experience. Also, finding yourself on the receiving end of people's rants and need for support a few times can reinforce the breadth of interactions which you and others find comfortable.

So, on one hand, talking things out with a counselor could prove helpful. On the other hand, offering support to those in need of guidance or clarification on their issues can become ultimately beneficial for everyone involved. Listening, caring, reciprocating - these are not my strong suits, and yet they're critical components of interaction for building and maintaining healthy relationships.
 
"Do you think maybe this incessant rambling due to the anxiety you feel stems from insecurities?"

That's an interesting question, did you know that in most cases, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the result of a neglected childhood where the parents created a situation in which the child felt inferior to others, causing a seemingly bloated sense of self-worth as if trying to have a voice loud enough to be heard. So this self-assertive arrogance may well stem from unprocessed insecurities that were taken advantage of during childhood years. My voice was simply not loud enough to make a difference during the years of being tormented by stereotypical bullies. A self-defense mechanism, probably wired on the hippocampal area of the brain as it's trying to learn communication skills. Part of it probably in the prefrontal cortex as well considering statistics say autistic individuals are born with 67% more brain cells in that specific area, which would indeed make it part of the idiosyncratic proportions of my personality. I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance when speaking about this subject, trying to justify and invalidate my own sense of self-worth at the same time.
 
you know... i used to over talk, in person, over text/email etc....
i especially hated sending only ONE long txt to not get any more replies, sometimes one long one and that was it. i wait like a day or two and send short txt with simple question, no response. month later again and i get a "who is this?" i tel them (all with probly just 2 short txt messages) and then they just ignore me again! im sure it was from the past long ones. But WHY could they just not tell me to send short messages! lol. But SERIOUSLY HOW hard is that to just tell me, like i felt the overraction was waaay overkill, and they must be really neurotic! lol

but what ultimately cause me to be more brief and, in person especially, give Plenty of time for them to speak, was having someone not shut the fuk up, ever, and was ending up about stuff i could honestly not give a shit about lol, and they stay there, or follow me going on and on, until i have to shew them off! If they have time where they can feel comfortable in knowing they can voice out whenever and not have to be postponed by my rambling, just like me not having to interrupt them to say i dont give a shit! lol it definitly is a social ease in my opinion. or uneasy, if they just talk to you like their "journal/recorder-thingy-magig" like idk its fuking anoying as hell. so i definitly shut up more as well haha
 
I dont want to get to into it to much...but i to was diagnosed with high functioning autisim or asperger syndrom.both very very minor.and when I first got diagnosed things were living hell.but things will settle down.I dont know how severe you are regarding the spectrum but to be honest,most people would never guess i had such a syndrome.even after a few hours of talking(unlike most people with hfa).but if you do have a hard time only talking about your self I would suggest just trying to slow down your thoughts.I know it seems near impossible but it is not.believe it or not central nervous stimulants such as adderall actually help me.but as for you,sine you are abuseing amphetamines I would not suggest that.for obvious reasons lol,but instead of that try to find a good therapist and get in some behaviour therapy.and as for feeling more comfortable around people,the best medicine is to talk to people,meet new people and try to go to social situations such as the mall.but i know nobody is the same.so just figure out whats best for you :D.also i want to tell you THINGS WILL ALWAYS GET BETTER.dont let anyone tell you differeint.Dont associate your self with nay sayers.surround your self with caring,loving people.


Peace I wish you the best of luck dude
 
As with most people on this site a good start is always: take less drugs. Doctor prescribed and otherwise. Sure some psych medications can help but the amount youre on seems excessive.
 
Symptom: Rambling
Amphetamine symptom: Rambling
Solution: Stop taking amphetamines.
 
I've not much time so I'll keep it brief:

Cut out poking or using amphetamines in general

Stick to ONE psychiatrist, I am fairly sure any good 'trist would agree 8 medications is insane in itself. I don't mean to make assumptions...but be honest, are you doctor shopping?

Use aspects of CBT, try to notice when you obsess and (try to) stop when you notice.

And keep a daily journal and keep track of when this rambling happens, what triggers it and just things you think are worth writing down. Share this journal with your psych when you are ready. (I'd share it right away).

Hope that helps.
 
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