First off I am almost positive this is in the wrong place so please feel free to move it if it is.
Hey BL, its been awhile since I have been online to have a look at the forums as ive been sortve finding it abit triggering as I was clean from meth for about 10 months (up until Christmas eve) but still crave almost daily. Now I moved to a new town about 4 months ago and the prices for meth or weed is ridiculous... I mean RIDICULOUS. So as I was not making a huge income I just couldn't afford it and no longer needed it to function and I found it sortve easy to refrain from at first. Then after about 2 weeks I started getting REALLY bored as the town is tiny and there is nothing to do around town at all. So I started smoking a lot more weed, it was affordable at first although the price was a rip off. And then It became ridiculous, to the point I was smoking allday everyday and was getting bored of that because my tolerance was sooo high. And as Christmas approached some of my mates were all going to put in for some meth and split it between us... I was offered to chuck in and I thought why not its Christmas a little bit wont hurt?... Had they TINIEST little pipe got a little buzz and INSTANTLY wanted more but couldn't afford it. So I came down and was sorta proud of myself at first, However after that pipe my cravings went back to like mid detox and now ive pretty much given in to them and started using again. Not flat out using, but we all know that wont last long. This is worrying as the price here means im gonna be doing stupid stuff to get money soon. I know its because im depressed that ive gone back to dope but I have been in denial that im depressed again and I have been sortve lieing about how Ive really felt mentally to my doc and I also hate my doctor he is a prick. So do I just go in and face up to the judgemental as fuck old school doctor stare as I come out with the truth to him or should I maybe change doctors and start from scratch and be 100% honest? Do I just sortve try a DIY approach or what? Im sortve getting abit desperate as I know how quickly this snowball rolls.
Any advice or ideas would be great. Im sorta struggling to get a sober and clear head to make decisions on what to do.
As always Thank You!
Hey BL, its been awhile since I have been online to have a look at the forums as ive been sortve finding it abit triggering as I was clean from meth for about 10 months (up until Christmas eve) but still crave almost daily. Now I moved to a new town about 4 months ago and the prices for meth or weed is ridiculous... I mean RIDICULOUS. So as I was not making a huge income I just couldn't afford it and no longer needed it to function and I found it sortve easy to refrain from at first. Then after about 2 weeks I started getting REALLY bored as the town is tiny and there is nothing to do around town at all. So I started smoking a lot more weed, it was affordable at first although the price was a rip off. And then It became ridiculous, to the point I was smoking allday everyday and was getting bored of that because my tolerance was sooo high. And as Christmas approached some of my mates were all going to put in for some meth and split it between us... I was offered to chuck in and I thought why not its Christmas a little bit wont hurt?... Had they TINIEST little pipe got a little buzz and INSTANTLY wanted more but couldn't afford it. So I came down and was sorta proud of myself at first, However after that pipe my cravings went back to like mid detox and now ive pretty much given in to them and started using again. Not flat out using, but we all know that wont last long. This is worrying as the price here means im gonna be doing stupid stuff to get money soon. I know its because im depressed that ive gone back to dope but I have been in denial that im depressed again and I have been sortve lieing about how Ive really felt mentally to my doc and I also hate my doctor he is a prick. So do I just go in and face up to the judgemental as fuck old school doctor stare as I come out with the truth to him or should I maybe change doctors and start from scratch and be 100% honest? Do I just sortve try a DIY approach or what? Im sortve getting abit desperate as I know how quickly this snowball rolls.
Any advice or ideas would be great. Im sorta struggling to get a sober and clear head to make decisions on what to do.
As always Thank You!