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How to deal with people overstaying their welcome

Libby

Libby

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
2,770
Location
Outside of Society
Thought I was lonely and invited this chick round today... remembered why it is I dont have people around. They talk too fucking much and worse nothing they say is remotely interesting, there is no polite way to say fuck off and go home, ignoring them and getting into computer doesnt phase them, and asking them what they're up to since you wanna go to sleep and are they all good or do they need something before they go takes HOURS to register from their ears to their legs. OMS why do all these reets wanna cling onto me and anyone sweet isnt bothered and has better things to do? I really hope they're not attracted to me coz they think I'm one of them. *shudders* fuck my life. She says she loves me :/ I should have never fucked her that one time before I got to know anything about her and realized I can't stand her. There needs to be a system, a universally accepted code.
 
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To be honest Libby I'd be too scared to follow you back to your place. I'd worry you would rob me or worse. I'm more likely to meet you at a bar and take a "phantom piss" and be in a taxi before the bill arrives ;)
 
Really? I am too shy to tell someone I don't like to leave my house after being theredoing my head in for 10hours straight after a 14hour shift at work, and you, you would be scared of me? You think I would rob you.. me who spends the time reading and sometimes researching everything I buy to make sure it has no animal derivatives, because I don't wan't to steal milk or etc from an animal because it's morally wrong to take that which is not freely given....ok, yup... no i have the best social skills ever, i totally communicate awesome and people get me always. Be very afraid. I scream whenever I catch glimpse of my reflection.
 
Uh-huh.. see I would find the person who enjoys inflicting violence on others more threatening.. but hey whatever. Like my new ettiquette cheat, it's golden regardless
 
Thanks for the sex - see you around is sociably accepted and is usually understood as ' time to leave'. Failing that then, I'm sorry but its time for you to leave as I have stuff to do / go to bed now is also an acceptable phrase. Give them the option of going to bed with you, if there not willing then chase them.
 
say- i'll see you later

or just leave your house with her and then when you are in town say you have to run an errand and you will see her later
 
The sex was totally a different day- the first day I met her ages ago before I knew that I dont like her (I'm not being like a guy, u knw those predator asshole types, I was drunk she initiated I just went with it, no foul) and then I just invited her to mine after work last night mainly coz a dude we had a booking with gave me a bag and I said I'd split it with her since we both did the job and I even said to her just as mates hangout for a bit and she was like yeah (i assumed like an hour or two, not ten). Anywho spose I could've gone out and ditched, I'm not much of a leave my house kinda girl. There is a definate hole in social guildlines for politely making people leave I reckon, I tried but everytime my hints got obvious enough that she got them she would have like a mood swing at me like sulky/aggressive...(yet... not leave) and it made me feel bad for her coz in between she was all like you're so pretty and I love you and tryna touch me and sad eyed, so then I had to be all like "oh you knw.. when you're ready, all good" to avoid confrontation and to not feel this guilt like I was being a bitch which I actually don't think I was, she just would not leave. A polite fuck off is a needed addition to current language I say. Yikes I really hope I'm not ever like that when I've got a crush on someone, it would be nice if everyone just said fuck offskies bro and it was clear and immediate and non-offensive.
 
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for the ones who I know are loiterers, even before they come over, "I've got a busy fuckin' day tomorrow...doc appt/photo shoot/other work/meeting parent for meal..." with a specific, early time. And when that clock hits get-the-fuck-out-o'clock, I say "okay seeyalater!!!" if they're dawdling, I'm bitchy..."dude. how fucking long does it take you to put on your socks? do I need to iron your fuckin' panties for ya or what?"
although a hearty chuckle generally arises from the last statement, I'm 78% serious :)

Personally, when I'm the guest, I try and get the hell out of there in a pretty decent amount of time. Unless it's somebody I've been seeing for awhile and already know how long I can or can't stick around.

I once had a FFNC (friendly fuck no commitment...and technically minus the 'friend' part, lol)
we set it up so I knew what time he was supposed to arrive - I'd stick a newspaper in the apt bldg door 5-10 minutes before his ETA. I left my apt door unlocked, and waited in bed naked. He would walk in, we would git after it, and he'd put on his clothes and go. Fuckin' awesome. I miss that.
 
OMG this girl is scary. I woke up today and she was in my house, and she said she's just visiting my flatemate and i was like oh ok. And then I wasn't rude or anything like i said hello and goodbye but just like didn't talk to her otherwise, and she left after little bit. Then later she txt my flatmate and was like "i'm coming round to bring u guys dinner is that ok" and my flatmate txt back and said that she's busy shes got a lot of packing and washing to do, and now my flatmate came and told me that this scary chick has just come over anyway and is talking hanging out with everyone in the lounge, and i was like I'm going back to my bedroom. Now I'm hiding in my bedroom... which I pretty much do anyway so doesnt matter, but shit should I be scared? I'm scared...

I would seriously balls up and tell her to fuck off at this point actually, if it wern't for that she is friends with my flatmate, but yeah my flatmate didn't want her here tonight either coz she actually is busy packing, it's fucked up she still came anyway
 
If she is causing no harm and your getting a free lunch then what's the problem? It sounds like she has already made friends with your other room mates so its pretty hard to get rid of her so just treat her as you would any of your other friend's friends. Don't get into conversations with her and do not give her any reason to come over - if she phones again offering free food tell her that you do not want it and simply do not let her into the building, if she enters the building without your consent then tell her she is crossing the line and is no longer welcome.
 
That is a bit creepy that she didn't take the hint. So if you come out she might stay for hours.
Maybe she's lonely or has a crush on you. Does she drop in much?
 
This is only the second time she's been here.

Yeah she has a major crush. I don't like her, she's not an asshole or anything like I don't hate her (If I did this would be easy I would just tell her she's a psycho and get the fuck out of my house). But even if she wasn't scary clingy, I have nothing in common with her and don't enjoy her company, like not even in a friend way, I still wouldn't like being around her.

She came and knocked on my door and i didn't answer so that she would just go away back to the lounge, and she came in, so I told her can you please get out of my room, and she got all aggressive in her tone like she does and was like are you still angry at me because of the other day, and I was like I'm not angry at you, I never was angry at you I just want to be left alone, so can you please go. and she kept on argueing so I said. Well I've asked you to leave now and you're still here and that's upsetting me. And she finally left. I am shaking still but at least I managed to get her away finally.
 
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I had a feeling that she was going to come into your room. So she's cozying up to your flatmate as an excuse to come by and see you.
I guess you made yourself clear and she probably won't do it again. You didn't answer your door and she should have backed off then.
That would have pissed me off and puts you in the awkward position having to restrain yourself from an angry explosion.
 
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Did she linger around in the lounge or just leave your home altogether? It bothers me when I'm pushed into a fight or flight mode.
Don't feel bad, I probably would have went off cursing or threw something at her.
She was being too pushy and needed to be put in her place.
 
She's still here in the lounge, I went out there coz I left my phone in there, and said "she's gone?" then my flatmate whispered to me that she's just in the toilet.(its right next to the lounge)
Fuck it, at least I went and got my phone.
If this chick speaks to me again I'm gunna have a fucking rage episode and it's not gunna be pretty (i have panic disorder with agoraphobia and borderline personality disorder and since I'm stuck in here with nothing to do I may as well smoke some meth I'm flicking). Looks like some people just don't understand nice.
 
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this is a bunch of juvenile nonsense. op, just tell her you're not interested. make it clear and keep it short. in short, take some responsibility for this situation in which you have placed yourself.

alasdair
 
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