CitioKid
Bluelighter
This is definitely going to be my last post on this website, but I felt the need to share my experience as I think it may be invaluable to others.
I have struggled with a severe opiate addiction for 10 years, commencing in my mid-teens. Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Demerol, Heroin, Kratom, Tianeptine, Loperamide and, for most of those years, suboxone.
I tried to get sober literally dozens of times and failed due to severe PAWS which never seemed to improve in the slightest, even after my previous record of 75 days sober.
I have tried:
1. Cold Turkey (ouch)
2. Endless switching games (subs to kratom to tramadol to loperamide, rinse and repeat)
3. Ibogaine and low dose ibogaine (tripped for days in a naked haze but quickly was struck by severe PAWS 10 days later, though suboxone in my system may have impaired the experience)
4. Gabapentin (works for a few days, then stops)
5. Anti-depressants
6. Amphetamines for PAWS (didn't help enough)
7. Slow tapers (probably the least pleasant in my mind)
8. Rehab and daily 12-step meetings
I named my addiction-half "Id" because he always comes out and completely overrides all the plans my "true" self makes. I want to get sober one day, the next day "Id" comes out and the plan goes to hell.
Finally, here is what DID work.
Step. 1: Get on suboxone and commence a taper down to 0.5mg a day (this may not be necessary for those not on maintenance)
Step 2. Switch to (non-extract) Kratom for 10 days
Step 3. Jump off the kratom and utilize gabapentin, phenibut, benzos or whatever comfort meds necessary for the mild withdrawals (follow standard safety protocol with use of these drugs, especially phenibut (never use more than two days in a row)
STEP 4. Commence low dose naltrexone after 5 days of sobriety (I use between 1.5 to 3mg before bed at night)
Step 5. Exercise as best as one can twice a day (even a 10 minute swim/hike/run is fine)
Step 6. DO NOT look up drugs online (I've failed at this multiple times as can be seen in my last few month's posting history)
Using this method, I was shocked to discover that the PAWS was practically nonexistent. I attribute most of this to the LDN, as well as the exercise and the feeling of just finally being totally done with opiates. No more excuses - no more "I NEED them for [insert BS excuse] just ONCE!"
I cannot emphasize how much I wish I had done this years back. LDN may not work for everyone, but it was a miracle for me, and the benefits have not lessened at all over time.
Am I totally sober? Sans drinking a fat dose of Kava at night, yes. My cravings are minimal and my energy levels are near 100%. My biggest lesson has been to ignore what I feel and instead focus only on what I do. Feelings lie, especially when you're an addict.
Time to bury "Id" and move onto doing what I want to do, helping others overcome the nightmare of addiction.
Peace be with you all. Sorry for the ramble.
I have struggled with a severe opiate addiction for 10 years, commencing in my mid-teens. Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Demerol, Heroin, Kratom, Tianeptine, Loperamide and, for most of those years, suboxone.
I tried to get sober literally dozens of times and failed due to severe PAWS which never seemed to improve in the slightest, even after my previous record of 75 days sober.
I have tried:
1. Cold Turkey (ouch)
2. Endless switching games (subs to kratom to tramadol to loperamide, rinse and repeat)
3. Ibogaine and low dose ibogaine (tripped for days in a naked haze but quickly was struck by severe PAWS 10 days later, though suboxone in my system may have impaired the experience)
4. Gabapentin (works for a few days, then stops)
5. Anti-depressants
6. Amphetamines for PAWS (didn't help enough)
7. Slow tapers (probably the least pleasant in my mind)
8. Rehab and daily 12-step meetings
I named my addiction-half "Id" because he always comes out and completely overrides all the plans my "true" self makes. I want to get sober one day, the next day "Id" comes out and the plan goes to hell.
Finally, here is what DID work.
Step. 1: Get on suboxone and commence a taper down to 0.5mg a day (this may not be necessary for those not on maintenance)
Step 2. Switch to (non-extract) Kratom for 10 days
Step 3. Jump off the kratom and utilize gabapentin, phenibut, benzos or whatever comfort meds necessary for the mild withdrawals (follow standard safety protocol with use of these drugs, especially phenibut (never use more than two days in a row)
STEP 4. Commence low dose naltrexone after 5 days of sobriety (I use between 1.5 to 3mg before bed at night)
Step 5. Exercise as best as one can twice a day (even a 10 minute swim/hike/run is fine)
Step 6. DO NOT look up drugs online (I've failed at this multiple times as can be seen in my last few month's posting history)
Using this method, I was shocked to discover that the PAWS was practically nonexistent. I attribute most of this to the LDN, as well as the exercise and the feeling of just finally being totally done with opiates. No more excuses - no more "I NEED them for [insert BS excuse] just ONCE!"
I cannot emphasize how much I wish I had done this years back. LDN may not work for everyone, but it was a miracle for me, and the benefits have not lessened at all over time.
Am I totally sober? Sans drinking a fat dose of Kava at night, yes. My cravings are minimal and my energy levels are near 100%. My biggest lesson has been to ignore what I feel and instead focus only on what I do. Feelings lie, especially when you're an addict.
Time to bury "Id" and move onto doing what I want to do, helping others overcome the nightmare of addiction.
Peace be with you all. Sorry for the ramble.