First off, I want everyone to know I am not bashing any of you or trying to convince you to never roll ever again. I am just informing you of the consequences and risks you take when you're on ecstasy, or any drug for that matter. I know most of you think you know it all already, and I'm wasting my time with this post, but I doubt any of you really do understand the long term effects caused by ecstasy and how it really can ruin your life. It did mine.
I'm 20 years old, and I live with my best friend in a tiny apartment in Tallahassee. I'm stuck with a low paying job at a bagel shop, my family and friends back home hate me, and I feel an urge to kill myself every single day. The only 2 people that still really care about me include the friend who lives with me (who probably thinks I'm pathetic too) and my sister who lives about 200 miles away and my dad forbids her to contact me.
I took my first roll about two and a half years ago. Since then, I've tried every kind of bean I can get a hold of. I've paid anywhere from $10 to $40 a pill. When I first started rolling, nothing mattered to me. All that mattered was that I was having a good time. You could've told me my parents just died, and I wouldn't have cared. I took about 4-5 beans a week. But, soon I'd be taking even more. It was the most important thing to me. Everything was going all right, until my girlfriend and I got into an argument, and she ratted me out to my parents.
They were extremely pissed and ordered me to stop. They lectured me about how E is even worse than all the other drugs out there, because it is so new and scientists are not even sure of it's effects yet. I told them I would stop, but of course I didn't. All you had to do was mention E, and I'd go crazy, knowing I'm not rolling right now. My girlfriend and even my rolling buddies started to worry that I was becoming overly addicted. I didn't care. I started to spend a lot of time by myself. I was even rolling by myself. My friends thought I was crazy.
I'd definitely built a tolerance for E, so I tried to space out my rolling to twice a week. It didn't work. I went crazy. Since one or two beans wouldn't give me the experience I wanted anymore, I started taking 3 to 4 at a time.
I had constant stomach aches and headaches. Every morning, I'd feel weak and exhausted, my mouth always dry, my eyes always red. I knew my memory was going bad, too. I started to forget what days I had work and other important dates. I'd also become clumsy.. my parents found a couple of pills in my car. By this time, my girlfriend has already dumped me, and I've been fired from my job. My parents insisted I get professional help. I refused. My dad was furious, so he took my car away. I threatened to drop out of school, and my dad grabbed me, so I punched him. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. He kicked me out of the house. My mother and sister were crying, and I barely cared.
I was 18, almost 19, at the time. I had 4 months til I was going to graduate, but I decided not to go back to school. I lived with my friend at his house. His mom didn't even want me to be around him. My mom would sometimes call, but my dad would not even bother. My friend got a scholarship to FSU, so I asked to move up to there with him and promised to get a job and help pay rent, and here I am today.. A worthless loser..
This story may seem all too dramatic and movie-like to be real. But it is real. It was my life. Nothing I've said was exaggerated in any way.
I know you're thinking "it'll never happen to me".. true it may not, but that doesn't mean you won't be affected in some way.
And don't bother replying saying I'n idiot or whatever.. I won't be reading it. This is a one-time post.
Travis
I'm 20 years old, and I live with my best friend in a tiny apartment in Tallahassee. I'm stuck with a low paying job at a bagel shop, my family and friends back home hate me, and I feel an urge to kill myself every single day. The only 2 people that still really care about me include the friend who lives with me (who probably thinks I'm pathetic too) and my sister who lives about 200 miles away and my dad forbids her to contact me.
I took my first roll about two and a half years ago. Since then, I've tried every kind of bean I can get a hold of. I've paid anywhere from $10 to $40 a pill. When I first started rolling, nothing mattered to me. All that mattered was that I was having a good time. You could've told me my parents just died, and I wouldn't have cared. I took about 4-5 beans a week. But, soon I'd be taking even more. It was the most important thing to me. Everything was going all right, until my girlfriend and I got into an argument, and she ratted me out to my parents.
They were extremely pissed and ordered me to stop. They lectured me about how E is even worse than all the other drugs out there, because it is so new and scientists are not even sure of it's effects yet. I told them I would stop, but of course I didn't. All you had to do was mention E, and I'd go crazy, knowing I'm not rolling right now. My girlfriend and even my rolling buddies started to worry that I was becoming overly addicted. I didn't care. I started to spend a lot of time by myself. I was even rolling by myself. My friends thought I was crazy.
I'd definitely built a tolerance for E, so I tried to space out my rolling to twice a week. It didn't work. I went crazy. Since one or two beans wouldn't give me the experience I wanted anymore, I started taking 3 to 4 at a time.
I had constant stomach aches and headaches. Every morning, I'd feel weak and exhausted, my mouth always dry, my eyes always red. I knew my memory was going bad, too. I started to forget what days I had work and other important dates. I'd also become clumsy.. my parents found a couple of pills in my car. By this time, my girlfriend has already dumped me, and I've been fired from my job. My parents insisted I get professional help. I refused. My dad was furious, so he took my car away. I threatened to drop out of school, and my dad grabbed me, so I punched him. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. He kicked me out of the house. My mother and sister were crying, and I barely cared.
I was 18, almost 19, at the time. I had 4 months til I was going to graduate, but I decided not to go back to school. I lived with my friend at his house. His mom didn't even want me to be around him. My mom would sometimes call, but my dad would not even bother. My friend got a scholarship to FSU, so I asked to move up to there with him and promised to get a job and help pay rent, and here I am today.. A worthless loser..
This story may seem all too dramatic and movie-like to be real. But it is real. It was my life. Nothing I've said was exaggerated in any way.
I know you're thinking "it'll never happen to me".. true it may not, but that doesn't mean you won't be affected in some way.
And don't bother replying saying I'n idiot or whatever.. I won't be reading it. This is a one-time post.
Travis
