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Mental Health How does your bipolar show itself?

S

Spadez87

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 2, 2013
Messages
175
I'm just trying to figure out if I actually am bipolar 2. I have mood swing like crazy but I think it's my borderline. So I'm looking for peoples expierences with bipolar and how it manifests in them. Here's some background

I'm diagnosed GAD, borderline and bipolar 2. These were diagnosed at 16, 17 and 26 respectively. I'm now 27. I do have borderline I'm sure and def GAD. Bipolar I'm not sure.

My mental health symptoms are as follows. Irritability, anxitey, panic, depression, rapid mood swings, (multiple a day) OCD type checking stuff (did I turn off the stove? Did I turn of my lights in my truck? Etc) even when I check these things I look at it see it's done but as I walk away I think it's not done.. It's fucked I have to go back and check then repeat a few more times. These are the worst there are more though.

Anyways I read bipolar 2 entails hypomania and depression mostly. These can last months with a few cycles a year..

My mood swings go like this. I'm normal ish for a few hours then bam something will trigger me (whether warranted or not) I'll go crazy for a few hours then return to normal imsg .. I am usaully depressed 24/7 but I have health problems so I dunno.

I seem to cycle faster then a normal bipolar. So I question I have it..

How does you bipolar show it's self?

Also can "hypomania" be just sever irritability and anxitey? And totally non euphoric?
 
Hey im new here but I can relate to what you've been going through. Im 24 and have been diagnosed with social anxiety, GAD, and borderline personality disorder.

Usually when im manic when i stop my medication for a few days. Usually because I go become manic and think i can conquer the world without medication, etc. Then I end up stopping my medication and I feel insanely good for like a month or half a month little sleep odd euphoria and etc... Then sometimes Im up for a few days on 0 hrs of sleep yelling about how shitty of a person I am and something about how stupid ive been and my thoughts cant stop racing and telling me what to do kind of. I get pretty fucking impulsive and wreckless too, doing drugs, spending money, stealing, etc. Luckily ive tried to get out of this habit by keeping strong and on my medication because i go shit crazy when I stop... Usually when I go full blown manic I've ended up admitting myself to psychiatric hospital or have ended up being placed there by the state...

Sucks because even being stable sometimes on medication means im depressed mostly 24/7. Still have bits and bouts of hypomania/mania but more-so manic-depressive episodes. I think bipolar 2 is more related to rapid cycling than bipolar 1 is. I dont usually rapid-cycle. Usually my baseline mood is depressed most of the time. Im sure hypomania can be irritability and anxiety but mania is way more intense I think.

Also it does fucking suck to have to check the stove or the door or your keys or the parking break or fucking everything 5-6 times and still being paranoid and anxious about it. That shit is so fucking stupid haha i hate it.
 
idk but i'm up and down a million times a day i'm not even joking. I've never been diagnosed anything so who knows, but i'm sure and others close to me know i'm pretty fucked up with some type of menal issues.

one second i'm up and manic in a happy mood wanting to talk to everybody, the next second i'm a dick who wants nothing to do with anybody. or i'm extremely pissed off and angry, and then 20 minutes later a song I like comes on the radio and i'm in a great fucking mood. the next minute i'm thinking this is life? this is all there is to life? fuck it i'm done with life. the next minute i'm thinking thinking that everything is all good and my life will be amazing because I can really do anything I want, or go anywhere. then its fuckkkk i'm stuck in this shithole.


its hard to describe but that's how everday goes and it was hard to explain it but its not that simple.


k bye
 
nygiants1313 said:
idk but i'm up and down a million times a day i'm not even joking. I've never been diagnosed anything so who knows, but i'm sure and others close to me know i'm pretty fucked up with some type of menal issues.

one second i'm up and manic in a happy mood wanting to talk to everybody, the next second i'm a dick who wants nothing to do with anybody. or i'm extremely pissed off and angry, and then 20 minutes later a song I like comes on the radio and i'm in a great fucking mood. the next minute i'm thinking this is life? this is all there is to life? fuck it i'm done with life. the next minute i'm thinking thinking that everything is all good and my life will be amazing because I can really do anything I want, or go anywhere. then its fuckkkk i'm stuck in this shithole.


its hard to describe but that's how everday goes and it was hard to explain it but its not that simple.


k bye
Click to expand...

Sounds like me a lot of days so I get it.
 
Pretty much the standard... Depression, mood swings, anxiety, insomnia. I've also noticed more manic/hypomanic symptoms as I've gotten older, but I'm currently feeling pretty good. (Knock on wood.)
 
nygiants1313 said:
idk but i'm up and down a million times a day i'm not even joking. I've never been diagnosed anything so who knows, but i'm sure and others close to me know i'm pretty fucked up with some type of menal issues.

one second i'm up and manic in a happy mood wanting to talk to everybody, the next second i'm a dick who wants nothing to do with anybody. or i'm extremely pissed off and angry, and then 20 minutes later a song I like comes on the radio and i'm in a great fucking mood. the next minute i'm thinking this is life? this is all there is to life? fuck it i'm done with life. the next minute i'm thinking thinking that everything is all good and my life will be amazing because I can really do anything I want, or go anywhere. then its fuckkkk i'm stuck in this shithole.


its hard to describe but that's how everday goes and it was hard to explain it but its not that simple.


k bye
Click to expand...

Sounds like rapid cycling to me.
 
hunter1 said:
In shrink land it's all about Borderline personality disorder. It's their new buzz catch all diagnosis
Click to expand...

Yeah it's over used these days. 12 years ago I thought it was a bull shit diagnoses for me. Then 6 years later I started going through the symptoms and I was like ok check I all of these, this basically sums me up
 
Intra radian cycling that doesn't reach a 'true' Manic peak and a truly suicidal depressive portion typically points towards Borderline PD.

If a state is elevated and consistent, with minimal fluctuation and progressive intensity, it is closer to a mood affective disorder. Usually a duration of 7 days minimum is the DSM benchmark, though I disagree strongly with their arbitrary duration.
If I experience all aspects of Mania (inc. Psychoses) but only for 6 days, it supposedly is not indicative of Type 1 Bi-Polar, even though 'Mania' is the hallmark of BP1... yet another example of the contradictory flaws in the DSM.

BPD is underestimated in its frequency of fluctuations - many times a day is not uncommon.
However, Bipolar disorder (Rapid Cycling) goes deeper than 'being a dick for 20 minutes, then happy'.
Closer to Grandiose Delusions of being a reborn Messiah for 18 hours before falling into an ocean depth depression, filled with apathy, then anhedonia, then soul-crushing suicidal intent for a similar time period.

The peak intensity matches that of BP1, but the obscene frequency puts it in a league of its own.
 
My mental health symptoms are as follows. Irritability, anxitey, panic, depression, rapid mood swings, (multiple a day) OCD type checking stuff (did I turn off the stove? Did I turn of my lights in my truck? Etc) even when I check these things I look at it see it's done but as I walk away I think it's not done.. It's fucked I have to go back and check then repeat a few more times. These are the worst there are more though.

Quoting the OP this is me one hundred percent. I also experience dysphoria, always on edge and nervous. Negative thought loops that I can not snap myself out of. Over analyzing things and coming to conclusions that are totally delusional. Very quick to pounce if someone chalIenges me, when other times I am timid and avoid any type of confrontation. I am prescribed Lamictal and Xanax but it doesn't help that much. I do not live a sober lifestyle though so it is kind of hard to tell whether it is my bipolar or just my drug use. I don't currently talk to shrinks or psychologists as I get all my meds prescribed to me by my family doctor.

I can relate a lot to the checking of things over and over again. It has actually made me late for work on more then one occasion. Did I lock the door, did I unplug everything so the house doesn't burn down, is everything in the house where it needs to be, do I have what I need for the day, etc
 
SproutOnSmack said:
Intra radian cycling that doesn't reach a 'true' Manic peak and a truly suicidal depressive portion typically points towards Borderline PD.

If a state is elevated and consistent, with minimal fluctuation and progressive intensity, it is closer to a mood affective disorder. Usually a duration of 7 days minimum is the DSM benchmark, though I disagree strongly with their arbitrary duration.
If I experience all aspects of Mania (inc. Psychoses) but only for 6 days, it supposedly is not indicative of Type 1 Bi-Polar, even though 'Mania' is the hallmark of BP1... yet another example of the contradictory flaws in the DSM.

BPD is underestimated in its frequency of fluctuations - many times a day is not uncommon.
However, Bipolar disorder (Rapid Cycling) goes deeper than 'being a dick for 20 minutes, then happy'.
Closer to Grandiose Delusions of being a reborn Messiah for 18 hours before falling into an ocean depth depression, filled with apathy, then anhedonia, then soul-crushing suicidal intent for a similar time period.

The peak intensity matches that of BP1, but the obscene frequency puts it in a league of its own.
Click to expand...

It's Info like this that makes me question my bipolar 2 diagnoses. It makes me think I'm right in thinking I have borderline only.
 
My Dx is of SchizoAffective Disorder, not BP in itself so my experience may differ.

Typically; I experience 3 annual episodes lasting approx. 6-9 months of the year in total. (Yeah, 3-6 months of stable, non episodic mood, on an annual basis).
Typically beginning in Midwinter, the first signs of mood deviation occur, but often go unnoticed - in the first week; my sleep requirement (or my perception of it) reduces by an hour or so a night, but I feel as rested as I normally do so I begin to 'get up' and become functional a little earlier. I will slowly experience a reduction in appetite, skipping breakfast thrice that week, probably won't notice I even did so.
Energy levels start rising, but in an awkward and restless way - tics worsen, RLS, becoming quickly more 'alert'.
By week two the energy settles and I begin to use it to get more work done, or I will complete all those odd jobs and maintenance that needed doing. Sleep is reduced more, parallel with appetite - I am more irritable/argumentative but will likely blame my increased workload and lack of sleep/food.
By week three I am looking haggard through lack of sleep and nutrition, but it goes unnoticed, or rather; I am aware I am hungry, but I struggle to consolidate the physical feeling of hunger with the mental inclination to get food - the two no longer seem an obvious problem and solution, but separate thought processes. Exacerbation of this odd phenomenon occurs with every passing night garnering less sleep than the last.
Around this time my thoughts begin to accelerate and my priorities shift - less work, more social oriented. Will become quickly absorbed into outlets previously unexplored and begin to question myself. My life. My past. I become arrogant, egocentric and almost euphoric.
Inhibitions are dropped, the sleep deprivation lends itself to stranger thoughts. Eccentric and thinking 'outside of the box', I feel superior to those who can't 'keep up'.
Drug misuse spikes due to a lowered risk evaluation, the increased social events and maybe an attempt to sleep or to slow down the accelerating freight train my mind becomes.
The risks become a mere notion - they are for normal people, I am many cuts above said people.
Money becomes an odd concept - I cannot contemplate much further than the present, and the uninhibited hedonist in me blows through it in a short space of time. Usually, people have noticed the change in me and begin to back away.
'Pffft, cunts, they just don't like me having fun'.
Then the isolation lends itself to repetitive thoughts, which become loops, which become paranoia and delusion - my friends bugged my flat and now they're watching how I cope without them!'. Soon the neighbours are involved, I'm hearing voices and it escalates into delusion. I was bugged because they're trying to catch me doing something illegal to boost arrest rates. But I'm innocent, this was a set-up!
Start deciphering the secret messages on Countdown/bus tickets/car licence plates which will give me the code I need to prove my innocence to the FBI agents hiding near my house, just slipping into cover and I crack open the blinds.

You can see where this is going.
 
Or an 11 day poly substance binge complete with psychosis, delirium, self destruction, social isolation, and a failed suicide attempt.

YMMV.
 
Birc0014 said:
Whats wrong with that? I think he/she is saying booze triggers his/her shit...also whats @B: sort of have done mean? I'm illiterate in the interwebs..
Click to expand...

It's impossible for a substance to induce one to suffer from a severe mental illness that ruins the lives of many. Becoming emotionally unstable when drinking is a whole different thing.
If it can be 'given' by alcohol, I'd be sober forever.
It's just a little disrespectful to compare the two.

'@B' was supposed to show I was addressing you personally.
'At Birc0014'. Geddit? :)

I mean I have 'locked it down' in some ways.
 
SproutOnSmack said:
It's impossible for a substance to induce one to suffer from a severe mental illness that ruins the lives of many. Becoming emotionally unstable when drinking is a whole different thing.
If it can be 'given' by alcohol, I'd be sober forever.
It's just a little disrespectful to compare the two.

'@B' was supposed to show I was addressing you personally.
'At Birc0014'. Geddit? :)

I mean I have 'locked it down' in some ways.
Click to expand...


Um I would have to disagree...there are an abundance of substances that can and do trigger ... not to mention alcohols interaction with any medication taken
 
Trigger? Exacerbate? Hell yeah, many drugs make it worse.
But no drug can physically cause Bi-Polar Disorder.

Or did that glass of wine I drank cause years of suffering?
 
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