Lost How do you give yourself hope when you have evidence you are lying to yourself?

[RepeatedIgnorance2c-74]

Long story short, I have a habit of self-sabotage that has plagued me my entire life, it makes growth and change a difficulty, and I've created all the things I've feared onto myself, I have taken opportunities and let them go due to my own lack of faith and confidence, causing a self-fulfilled prophecy of failure and actions behind it. I have no direction and then expected substances to show me the way only to realize that they don't make the paths, you do, and since I never could imagine or create anything of growth or success for myself, I instead stayed dormant and became ignorant. Trying to undo the thoughts and beliefs instilled has been troublesome, and I'm wondering how did some of you overcome yourselves? I ask this as I learned the hard way that, underneath the addictive personality or habits, is something else I'm trying to fix or avoid that leads to this false need to well use something else to cause belief in myself. I know that if I can't change my mental mindset, I will continue to sabotage, whether it's with substances or other self-destructive means. I struggled trying to convey this as I don't really speak or think about these things often, I apologize if it doesn't belong here.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Best way I've found is to... just get stuck into whatever thing you need to be doing or want to be doing, without thinking too much about it. You kinda have to fox yourself.
I procrastinate endlessly because I overthink everything and also have never really been any good at initiating changes. So now I simply give myself a metaphorical kick up the butt and get started on whatever. I find once I've overcome my initial inertia I can keep at it. The key for me is not to think about all the ifs and buts.

 

[occlumencyfordummies]

Long story short, I have a habit of self-sabotage that has plagued me my entire life, it makes growth and change a difficulty, and I've created all the things I've feared onto myself, I have taken opportunities and let them go due to my own lack of faith and confidence, causing a self-fulfilled prophecy of failure and actions behind it. I have no direction and then expected substances to show me the way only to realize that they don't make the paths, you do, and since I never could imagine or create anything of growth or success for myself, I instead stayed dormant and became ignorant. Trying to undo the thoughts and beliefs instilled has been troublesome, and I'm wondering how did some of you overcome yourselves? I ask this as I learned the hard way that, underneath the addictive personality or habits, is something else I'm trying to fix or avoid that leads to this false need to well use something else to cause belief in myself. I know that if I can't change my mental mindset, I will continue to sabotage, whether it's with substances or other self-destructive means. I struggled trying to convey this as I don't really speak or think about these things often, I apologize if it doesn't belong here.

You described exactly what is plaguing me currently, and I don't have any advice, and can't seem to follow my own when I get any moments of clarity, But I am all ears for some good advice from someone else, because my way isn't working so great. I don't when even want to be high anymore, I just run in fear when I get close to the bottom, Ive always been running from it. I want to heal but don't have much will power or direction, and of course all my energy is spent being an employee. So, I'm pretty much spent

 

[SuperPsych]

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice. This exact issue has been the bane of my existence. I have a lot that I want to do in life and that I'm passionate, however persistent depression has led to a constant feeling of being bored which makes it very difficult to sink my teeth into anything. Constant low grade anxiety and self doubt leads to a never ending cycle of procrastination. I have always struggled with addiction and even after long periods of sobriety I still struggle with feeling bored and disinterested and convince myself that drugs are the answer to my problems and that they'll help me finally feel interested in things again and they do help the feelings of boredom but I end up never focusing on what I had intended to going in and end up wasting my time with other distractions instead of doing anything productive then I run out of drug and my depression and anxiety worsens and the cycle continues