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How do you get someone to stop being friends with you?

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
1,297
Location
Looking-Glass Land
I have a person I was friends with until they started telling me things once they got comfortable in their friendship. Now I want nothing to do with the person. The guy:

- Is proud for hitting his ex
- Has issues with females
- Thinks everyone is an idiot in this world but himself
- Stalks his current off and on again girlfriend
- Scabs money whenever he can
- Thinks because his sisters are bitches he shouldn't speak to his nephew and nieces who are no older then 10 when they come over.
- Thinks he will become a millionaire from playing roulette (yet always loses but the odd few times)
- He's 43 and lives at home with his mum
- He thinks people who leech off the government are great people and praises them.

I answer the phone sometimes when he calls because he's the kind of person that would rock up to your house and annoy you. Have just started a new job and I know he's going to hit me up for cash once I get paid and bully me into lending him cash. I made it clear on Friday don't mention cash as you're not getting it.

This guy has no friends and I know why now.

I made the mistake of when being in a low position in life to be his friend but I am trying to make life better for myself and every time I see this guy it's just like I'm in the wrong place. Nothing ever comes good of it. Hence I have been avoiding him and he has goes at me for it.

What would you do? I'm 31 and don't need this shit.
 
Keep telling him you're busy. Eventually he will get the hint or move onto someone else.
 
Simply delete him from social media and block his number. I actually had to change mine. The guy would online harass the women in my life, send me pics of his asshole and cock, send me pics of his feces and cum, put pics of my dad as his profile pic on FB, post fake screenshots of his bank acct that said 7 million, then post pics of him waiting at a bus stop & use park n ride as an excuse.
 
You're an adult, grow a spine and tell this fucker exactly what you think of him...that's what I'd do anyway.(sorry if that's a little harsh)
 
^^^^ agreed.

Funny thought occurred to me. Maybe he's saying all that shit because that's the way someone told HIM on how to stop being YOUR friend. I don't really think that's the case, I just found pretty amazing just how unlikable he sounds. Like over the top douchiest of the douchbags douch. Unless you're concerned he'll start a physical confrontation, and you want to stay out of him, tell him why you don't want to be his friend. He should know how he looks to people. I know it's very unlikely he will change, he will probably not even believe anything you tell him is true or that you're just jealous or some made up reason that he prefers, but i still think you should tell him.

Horrible people should have people tell them they're horrible.
I think we live in a world where too many people hold their tounge in situations here they know they're both right, and in the right. Just for the benefit of some unspoken social etiquette.
 
That's pretty sad all around. Your "friend" and you. All you need to do is just tell him "I don't want to be your friend." Just one sentence and your problem is gone. If he keeps harassing you, either avoid him or wherever he's at. Why stress over a problem for longer than it would take you to say that one sentence?

Some friends are forever, especially ones that you grew up with. Some come and go, like the ones you may have tripped and had fun times with for many years. I don't think I've even had an acquaintance as low as you describe, but if I were in your situation then it's pretty clear what I do; just say it to his face.

I don't mean to sound mean either, but a lot of the questions I'm seeing have very obvious answers.
 
Most definitely. He called again just then. I answered it cause I had missed messages from the guy.

He's already telling me in advance he'll be in touch and is questioning bout my work. I told him I'm busy with a second job outside of that and can't be going out any more. He's getting the hint.

I've had depression and anxiety issues most of my life since a kid. At my worst I unfortunately allow myself to hang out with some real pieces of shit. When I get better I'm with better people or just keep to myself. Really wish it wasn't like this. I wasn't friends with this guy for years and then a mutual friend decided to bring him around one day to where I was - Fucken idiot. Ever since then the guys been annoying me.
 
I'll tell you something dude. I wasted a lot of years just hanging out/socializing, doing substances, and didn't bother to do anything productive or try to. I learned a lot from it, and after that I felt like I had a lot to make up for, but in the end it was a waste. True friends are NOT easy to find, most of them are just acquaintances/people you hung out with before. Yeah, me too. I do know a lot of people through connections, and although a few them are friends, the majority I do not know very personally. It's very arbitrary and fickle to even start to get to know someone, and a lot of times the differences in philosophies separate people into groups. Unfortunately, pretty much only my hs friends are share them with me and that's because we grew up together. But after that, I became anti social, less able to trust, and saw the value in not even trying to get to know people personally if I'm happy with my current lifestyle. I literally just go to classes, hang out with my gf and dog, maybe pick up once or twice a month from a friend, and then I go back hermit style. And tbh, this is MUCH better than those times I was living the "high life" because during that time, I probably only met one person that shares the same values that I do, out of a huge group of people.

The definition of a friend is tricky, but the ones who really are happen to be the ones we don't have to question whatsoever.

Also, $ is pretty important and you shouldn't let this guy borrow or have any unless he pays you back. Save it instead. He doesn't seem to respect you so there's no point in giving respect back, so hopefully you can just be upfront because that always gets something done.
 
Just be completely honest with them. It will be a service to them, it may hurt them initially but it will be a beneficial interaction as they will learn how their behavior is affecting you. If you say nothing and allow them to interact with you in this manner they will think it's ok and there is nothing wrong with it. You arr actually doing this person a disservice by not being blunt and honest. Maybe it will incite personal growth in them and an important internal dialog?
 
Man ligaturd that's some impressive optimism. You saw what the guy said about this asshole? I'd love you to be right I really would. But if this guys at all like the OP says id be quite surprised.
 
Yeah I am just going to do this slowly.

Guys been in jail before and has some anger issues. However always towards females or whoever is weaker, he gets off on it. Guy is never aware he's yelling and not talking or is talking with anger in his tone.

There is a caring side to him where he would pick you up at 3 am if you were stuck or would lend you cash if he had it. However it's a 2 edge sword he'd always expect something back in return or at some later date or would use it against you.
 
My3sons said:
Keep telling him you're busy. Eventually he will get the hint or move onto someone else.
Click to expand...

Yeah that and after a few months of telling this guy your busy change your mobile phone number. If he doesn't get the picture and is still bugging you for money do the assertive thing and tell him over the phone that you no longer wish to socialise with him or lend him money and the fair thing from your point of view would be to move on from the friendship and explain to him that you no longer consider him a friend you think of him as a previous acquaintance
 
noonoo said:
I wasn't friends with this guy for years and then a mutual friend decided to bring him around one day to where I was - Fucken idiot. Ever since then the guys been annoying me.
Click to expand...

grow balls tell him you are not available and then dont talk to him or answer the calls. ever again
 
Just tell them that you've made your decision and it wasn't easy to come to but that you've moved on to another point in your life and you're alright with that and happy and that you don't have space for them in your life nor do you wish them ill will. WISH THEM WELL. SAY: "I WISH YOU WELL."
 
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