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How do you find people?

VerbalTruist

VerbalTruist

Sr. Moderator: H&R, S&T, DC
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I ;m trying to find someone. No luck with their family who althought they know hwere they are won't help. I guess I just need to talk to this person.

What can I do? I have scoured the internet.
 
i've done amazing things finding people online.

recently, i located a childhood friend i moved away from when i was 6. all i remembered was her first name and the house she lived in when we were friends. it was also difficult because even if i knew her last name, her mother and step-father had a different surname.

it took a few hours but i eventually located her using Google Maps (to find her house and street number), free public records (to locate the name of the last ownership of the home), obituaries (which located me her maiden name and her now married name), myspace (which thankfully had photos of her even though she'd aged quite substantially) and finally facebook (which i used to contact her).

in your spot though, i'd think their family or friends would be the best sources. if the family is refusing you the contact information, perhaps they think they have a good reason...? could you write the person a letter and give it to one of the family members? clearly they may not deliver it but maybe... at the very least it may be cathartic for you to put what you have to say to paper and then place it in the proper hands. at that point though, i think you'd have to be satisfied that you've truly done all that YOU can do, y'know? <3
 
FuturePig said:
i'd think their family or friends would be the best sources.
Click to expand...

this is considered true even by the professionals in the trace business. failing that, younger people can be found more reliably through social networking than public records. the latter is mostly for people who have/had a permanent address and landline phone number at present or within the past few years.

though, if someone really doesn't want to be found, especially in the U.S., it's easily doable. if you have history with the person or know their family then those are really your best shots at getting through to them.
 
FuturePig said:
i've done amazing things finding people online.

recently, i located a childhood friend i moved away from when i was 6. all i remembered was her first name and the house she lived in when we were friends. it was also difficult because even if i knew her last name, her mother and step-father had a different surname.

it took a few hours but i eventually located her using Google Maps (to find her house and street number), free public records (to locate the name of the last ownership of the home), obituaries (which located me her maiden name and her now married name), myspace (which thankfully had photos of her even though she'd aged quite substantially) and finally facebook (which i used to contact her).
Click to expand...

I'm scared.
 
The family route isn't viable. Trust me. They have no good reason unless she doesn't want to speak with me, but I some how highly doubt she would mind hearing from me.

I have begun to search public records.
 
FuturePig said:
i've done amazing things finding people online.

recently, i located a childhood friend i moved away from when i was 6. all i remembered was her first name and the house she lived in when we were friends. it was also difficult because even if i knew her last name, her mother and step-father had a different surname.

it took a few hours but i eventually located her using Google Maps (to find her house and street number), free public records (to locate the name of the last ownership of the home), obituaries (which located me her maiden name and her now married name), myspace (which thankfully had photos of her even though she'd aged quite substantially) and finally facebook (which i used to contact her).

in your spot though, i'd think their family or friends would be the best sources. if the family is refusing you the contact information, perhaps they think they have a good reason...? could you write the person a letter and give it to one of the family members? clearly they may not deliver it but maybe... at the very least it may be cathartic for you to put what you have to say to paper and then place it in the proper hands. at that point though, i think you'd have to be satisfied that you've truly done all that YOU can do, y'know? <3
Click to expand...

This is more than a little disturbing.

Noddy, what information do you have on this person that you can put to work for you? And I think most importantly, does this person want to be found? Might make a big difference.
 
disturbing? really? :( disturbing that i was able to find her with such limited information or disturbing that i actually spent the time to seek her out?

i was excited i was able to locate her using the best free resource available to me: the internet. she was a very close childhood friend. i didn't use any pay sites - i thought that would've been a little ridiculous and ftr, she was excited to reconnect with me, too. she said she'd tried finding me about a year ago.

i hope you find who you're looking for, euphoric.
 
It's disturbing how easy it is to find someone with so little information. Your intentions luckily were good but it's just really easy for me to see how this sort of capacity could be problematic ...
 
Oh dear jesus lol I just found like 6 people i was in rehab with when i was like 15
 
I think the most important question is one I aksed aove

Does this perso n want to be found?
 
^^ Yes, and that is a point which was raised in the thread that I linked in here as well.

"She who does not want to be found is best left alone"
 
I'm pretty sure if they wanted u in your life, you wouldn't be looking for them right now. you can always try Facebook, or spokeo.com very good service...
I once found a friend after 10 years, I was always thinking about them and wondering what had happened to them, one day I found them, I started talking to them, for one they weren't even excited or cared. Second when I was finished talking to them, I told them let's meet for coffee, they didnt even say sure one of these days will go, or okay why not. They just said bye lol, with no reply.. I kept them on Facebook for a few months, and I just deleted them. Then I told myself it was a reason why they weren't in my life in the first place..and I actually felt stupid,for trying to find them and actually caring to what had happened to them.

Plus things change, people change. I'm pretty sure a lot of the things you guys had in common back then you no longer do. You'd be surprised how quickly two people change over time.
 
You could maybe write a letter and send it to her family saying you would like to catch up and see how she is doing or whatever and if they could pass it on for you, leaving your details. If she gets back in touch great but if not take it that she may not want to be in touch for what ever her reasons are.
Some times people just want to leave the past behind and move on, it might hurt those left behind, but still people have a right to live their lives as they see fit.
If it is just a case of the family are being difficult, you could try putting an advert in some of the free sites such as gumtree, maybe saying her name and how to contact you etc, there might be free papers you can put in a looking for ad for free.
If you know roughly the area she is in try the phone book, or free bmd records to see if she is married and using a different name.
Leaving a letter at least allows the person to re read and think about it, at least you would know if they get in touch it's because they want to and not because you called them out of the blue and put them in a position where they felt they had no choice. If she does not get in touch put a line under that chapter of your life and move on.
 
Her family, mother, doesn't want me to speak with her because she is literally off the wall insane and controlling. I am looking for her father who is a reasonable nad great guy I had a number but it didn't work.

Shaha6 and anyone else speculating about this situation, quit it. I don't want her back I have something of hers and she will want it back.
 
i am a professional bill collector and skip tracer, if you would like you can PM me and i can give you some tips, or help you out. i like to boast about my tskip tracing techniques around my office.
 
In the past, I've used sites like Pipl.com and Spock.com. Also, Geneaology(sp?).com.

Other helpful places to search: the county clerk's website. It's usually all free public records! Traffic tickets to wedding licenses.

I have never used a site you have to pay for though.
 
If you know their first and last name, try Facebook. Everyone and their fucking grandmother has a Facebook. It's sort of pathetic advice, but worth a shot.
 
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