How do you feel about the word 'Gay' ?

[rock_lobster]

All the time in threads I see the word 'gay' being used in an almost
derogatory way. 'This thread's gay' , 'thats gay' 'your gay' etc .. etc .. you get the point !

I'd love to know, especially from homosexuals, how you feel about it? Do you think its offending, insulting, funny, you don't mind?

Whats your feelings on it?

It wasn't until I lived with a gay friend of mine for a fair number of months that I realised how many times his sexuality had been snubed in some form or another from people who didnt know he was gay. He branded this as homophobia. Which I thought was harsh in alot of cases, ignorant perhaps, but not militantly homophobic.

 

[-=ReD-hAzE=-]

It's a word.

 

[infinity]

too many people use it to describe something negative

 

[shal]

^^^ - I Agree. The word is over-used in negative situations.

Gay actually means happy :D

So that makes me Gay.

shals

 

[DigitalDuality]

The word gay... is umm... gay. j/k

I'm really not anal retentive about it being used as deragatory term that has nothing to do with homosexuals. That being said, certain posters on here tend to use this word, along with many other deragatory terms stemming from race, sexual preference, gender, etc.. and that is where it begins to get under my skin, b/c it makes me think of the underlying respect these people have for other groups.

I normally tend to find a better way to describe something. But that's me. I'm not gonna be a PC- nazi about it, at the same time.. i don't like bigots.

 

[doofqueen]

I've actualy been thinking about this ever since i've noticed people using it too rock_lobster. Since when is "ghey" bad and why has it got a negative connatation to it and who started it? I don't understand *shrugs* I know words have their meanings over time but why is it that it went from being happy to be homosexual to being derogotory?

 

[michael]

i think the idea that the spelling 'ghey' should somehow be thought of as different is a bit silly.

 

[doofqueen]

well it's the way people have spelled it that i have read that had the negative connatation to it. I didn't make it up!

 

[synthetic sunrise]

if something is gay, it's ... wussy, milquetoast, etc.

running through the wildflowers with your mommy is GAY.

dressing up like captain kirk and having a phaser shootout is GAY.

holding hands with your friend and skipping down the sidewalk is GAY.

no need to get all homosexual about the use of the word "gay".

 

[DigitalDuality]

^
Not necessarily....

Saying that's something is "gay"... is pretty much synonymous with "that's retarded" or "that sucks" or furthermore "that's stupid".

The word has evolved. And the deragatory sense, if you really want to get down to it.. has resulted from a society that thinks being homosexual itself is a bad thing.

But does a word's history and a word's roots really define it's current use? Excuse my language here, but take the word Nigger for instance. We think that's a horrible word. But if we traced it back to it's first use.. it simply meant dark. No negative connotation at all. The word evolved into a deragatory term. Now.. like the word gay, there's an overlapping of definition.. as if the word is in a transition phase. Now it can be used as an insult.. or various deviations of the original spelling and phonetics..can be seen as a friendly salutation. It has been used in poetry and music to mean "the oppressed" by the likes of John Lennon and Patti Smith.

The friendly salutation of the "N" word, still produces huge polarizing debate. Some think only blacks should be allowed to say it. But that in itself is racist. Some think that it shouldn't be said at all because of it's history and what it "used to mean".

You're seeing the same thing with "gay". I'm pretty sure alot.. maybe even most people who say "what up nigga" or "dude that's gay" or even "dude don't be a fag" to one of their friends.. probably have zero intent on being racist or homophobic, yet they themselves get offended when their definition and use of the word offends someone else.

The fact is.. there's so many uses of these words due to evolution of them.. there's barely any right way to say it without offending someone. You get a PC-nazi in the room .. and you refer to gays..as gay.. he might be offended at the fact you didn't use "queer".. or maybe "homosexual".

The arguement becomes ridiculous after a while, my thing is this.

A) people should quit being so uptight
B) people who use these words, if they are truly not racist or homophobic, should be mindful of others feelings.
C) People should take a minute to look at the context in which a word is used, rather than having a knee jerk response 100% of the time.

 

[anna!]

I don't care. Some words have multiple meanings. They're called homonymns. It's like saying that it's wrong to have a mayor because female horses might get offended.

 

[poopie]

i know people have been using "gay" with a negative connotation for years. but, lately, i think it's become more...general.

i think a lot of people used it towards an effeminate behavior (from a man, obviously). which, i guess i can understand. at least that's somewhat logical. but now, shirts are gay...this is gay, that is gay. people use it to descibe anything (inanimate objects?!). i'm not a fan. and it seems to be very widely accepted. we're so desensitized to it. it's just a regular adjective now to describe a chair, not a sexual preference, or a mood.

/me takes off my big foam #1 hand for the negative use of the word "gay"

 

[stAr shAdow nEt]

gheyness............

 

[raverchik]

I have to admitt Im a *big* user of the word 'gay' and I didnt really realise untill an old friend of mine recently told me and my old group of friends that he was Gay.

I dont use it in a really offensive way its just a word I through into everyday life more out of habit than anything else.

 

[Solipsist]

I dislike it.
I remember friends of mine would defend themselves with "But I don't mean GAY gay, it's just... gay". Very eloquent friends they were too.
When I was in Year 8/9, there was a surge in popularity for christening bad things "jew" eg. "That's so jew". How could you be ignorant to the origin of insults like that?
It shits me... surely whatever you're insulting is deserving of a bit more mental effort than "That's so gay".

 

[masaz]

I dunno.....I'm gay and for the most part it doesn't bother me, in fact I tend to use it myself.

As long as it's not meant in a horribly offensive way, rather just taking the piss, I can find it kinda amusing.

But all the little kids that run round calling everything 'gay' makes me want to destroy them.

Think of a different word people!

 

[mealltach]

I'm not anal-retentive about it, because i'm completely desensitised to it; almost everyone uses the word "gay" in a derogatory context. That being said, i never use "gay" for any purpose other than to denote either happiness or homosexuality.

The reason i don't use it is because of what a gay friend of mine once said on the subject. He's one of the most easy going, fun-loving people i've ever met, but he finds it offensive when people use a word that identifies him and his lifestyle in a derogatory context. He feels the weight of the association despite his efforts to not be bothered by it. I don't blame him either, and i think it's the same thing as minority groups not wanting to be referred to by words that have a derogatory history attached to them. Some people say that words only hold that kind of power when you grant it to them, and i can concede to that argument, but i choose not to go there. That way, no one has to feel offended.

anna!, i think your (mayor/mare) example is a red herring. It doesn't apply to this situation because horses do not have the ability to rationalise (at least, last time i checked they didn't ). The language we use holds meaning because that's how we define the world around us, plain and simple. It's not just a homonym, because it's a word that a huge segment of our population uses to define/identify itself.

 

[honEbee]

I basically feel the same way DD feels about it, but I'm not as eloquent in speech as he is.

So, yeah, what he said.

 

[diegoblunt]

DD:

Saying that's something is "gay"... is pretty much synonymous with "that's retarded" ...

Although I agree, personally I find the term 'retarded' to be the more hurtful, demeaning and ignorant expression of the two ...

 

[Pseudo G]

When I was in Year 8/9, there was a surge in popularity for christening bad things "jew" eg. "That's so jew".

That's so wrong, but it still made me laugh.

I use it rarely, try to avoid it. Do gay people insult other gay people by calling them hetero?