How do I pass the time, what can I expect, and give me encouragement.

[Area57]

Yes, I started posting a couple weeks ago about how I am mentally having a hard time getting myself to take my medicine, which I really want to take, but my mind is screwing me over a bit.

well, I'm still trying although I haven't admittedly made a lot of progress. Hopefully some though.

my hat is off to you guys that have gone through much, much harder things then I have to. I'm pretty weak or something.

Anyways, I now have to ramp this up and get back on suboxone because an opportunity or thhe possibility for an opportunity to undue some of the damage my addiction has caused this last year. I lost my girlfriend/wife and she maybe will take me back but I have to be and stay clean, like very soon. She needs me and if I can be there for her, clean and strong, I think things will be ok.

long story short since I had posted it here before. I thought I would try to gradually get back on suboxone by getting small bits in my system each day to avoid precipitated withdrawal. Well, it's probably a stupid plan, but I took 1 mg today after only ten hours since last shot, and I felt pretty sniffly and shitty this morning, after an hour I think I felt better. I'm assuming it was the suboxone, then I took another 1mg and about an hour later shot dope. Maybe from taking 1mg a day in the mornings for the last six days I've got some built up and can work harder tomorrow.

So, since I was able to take some subs today and feel a bit better, can I be strong tomorrow and just keep taking them throughout the day until I stabilize?

How bad bad do you think I will feel? Will I be able to sleep? I think my opiate tolerance is high. I think I am going to have to take a lot of suboxone to get through the first couple days, maybe even 16-24 mg a day which is more than I have ever taken, but my tolerance is higher than it has ever been.

how do I know when I have reached the ceiling effect and more suboxone will just be a waste?

I can can do this right? I know it's pretty pathetic, but I'm worried. I'll be ok and get through this and be stable soon right?

any tips to get through the first couple days instead of just staring at the clock and feeling edgy?

i want my life back., I know I haven't made the effort I should have and it is up to me to take control back.

 

[stillkickin]

Hey Area57,

First off, you can definitely do this. Let's get that part out of the way now.

From my own personal experiences and what I've read with others' experiences with subs, less is almost always more when you're trying to quit with subs. Especially when you're transitioning to them off your DOC. If you're able to dose your subs and not go into precipitated withdrawals, I'd definitely not go back to your DOC at all to restart the whole cycle all over again.

When I came off of 400+ mg oxy daily with subs, I induced at 4-6mg. I never felt great and totally relieved but it made it manageable. If I would have taken a consistent dose over the following days, I'm pretty sure I would have stabilized and felt pretty close to good but I instead ran a very rapid taper over the course of 7 days and jumped off at about .5mg/day.

As far as passing the time, that's where I'm at right now. I'm spending a decent amount of time on here, smoking (vaping) a fair amount of cannabis, and binge watching The Tudors. I'm still ridiculously restless and it's hard to keep my focus on any one given thing for any real stretch of time but I know I have to constantly keep myself distracted or else I'm going to start thinking myself into a darker corner where I know I'll start figuring out "how to make it all work with opies".

Best wishes for a strong and successful day!