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Mental Health How can I get over a break heart sober?

Lucy20

Lucy20

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 20, 2019
Messages
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I feel in love with the man who helped me get clean. First person I can honestly say I love. Things went bad and we tried to work it out and I should have walked away then but give him a chance because of all he did for me. Then i realized he was a complete narcissist who got angry with me for everything and almost had me convinced i was a fk up. He did something awful and its ended.
Im relieved but still broken hearted. Only a couple weeks after and he moved on.
I think what hurts the most is knowing what i confided in him, the passion and love we shared was nothing to him. I loved someone who never loved me back and it hurts.
I spent the holidays alone and on so much hydromorph I didn't think of anything but i can't continue that.
I don't know what to do to get out of this depressing funk. I don't want to eat, shower ,go out. . I just feel empty used and sad.
I know I'm 35 but this is my first real heart break and I have zero coping skills.
What have others done to snap yourself out of it?
How long will i feel this way?
 
In situations like this, i just confide in someone else so they can become your new go-to. Being understood meant a lot to you, and the fact of the matter is a lot of people can be there as supports for you, especially people who are not so narcissistic.

You also feel used. That's completely understandable. It had nothing to do with you, though, and everything to do with him. He is just like that. And it's his problem that he needs to sort out. You just walked into his path, and he took advantage of it. He will do this to everyone. He is a nasty person, and you're lucky to have gotten out as soon as you did.

Doesn't matter how long you feel this way, frankly. Take your time. Vent. Cry. Whatever it feels like, feel it in its entirety and don't shut it down.

I love going for walks, listening to music, making a list of shit to do FOR ME, and do it. With swag ;) with passion and with self love.

He didn't steal your heart or stomp on it, although it may feel that way. Your heart will be healed in time and he will trip over his own word, if that makes you feel any better. It's all for you. And the only thing he did was lose out.

These sentences may seem a bit filleted - choppy - maybe overwhelming so take bits and pieces that apply to you and make sense, and keep on keeping on.

Love you Lucy. Not all people are like him.
 
Do you have any friends? Be creative, write, dance, sing, jump, throw the skeletons from your closet. I remember my first love I stil burst to this one, haha, she was a gypsy and I fingered her she squirted and came like a stupid slut, yackkkkkkkkkk fuckin yack. Sorry for the language. We already know what loneliness is, I think depression tends more not to trauma not to all of that stuff, I didn't said it wasn't caused by but because your life is boring, as you said you too low to care, good you know this. Means you can fix it no time. Life isn't all drug, a drug forum posts won't change your situations *clapping fingers* bum, no. You have to.
 
Lucy20 said:
I feel in love with the man who helped me get clean. First person I can honestly say I love. Things went bad and we tried to work it out and I should have walked away then but give him a chance because of all he did for me. Then i realized he was a complete narcissist who got angry with me for everything and almost had me convinced i was a fk up. He did something awful and its ended.
Im relieved but still broken hearted. Only a couple weeks after and he moved on.
I think what hurts the most is knowing what i confided in him, the passion and love we shared was nothing to him. I loved someone who never loved me back and it hurts.
I spent the holidays alone and on so much hydromorph I didn't think of anything but i can't continue that.
I don't know what to do to get out of this depressing funk. I don't want to eat, shower ,go out. . I just feel empty used and sad.
I know I'm 35 but this is my first real heart break and I have zero coping skills.
What have others done to snap yourself out of it?
How long will i feel this way?
Click to expand...
Be with people or a person who you know are safe people, the ones who are consistent and reliable and that truly love you. Do you have anyone like this you can spend time with? Just being in the presence of someone like this can lift you out of a funk.
 
Sober? Fuck.... that's a tough one, for me.
However: Once I found out that drugs and or alcohol wasn't working I tried sober. Oh my fuc*ing god... what a withdrawal. It did keep my mind somewhat from the heart-ache as my physical and mental well being had run amok and it created it's own problems that distracted (minimal but anything helped).
After 3 weeks I strated feeling a bit more base-line but to this day (~a year and 1/2 later) I still get buggy and uncertain about life. Knowing it was not from the continued WDs of poly-substance use/abuse (I still dabble from time to time) I put it up to the unkown (when is she gonna do this again?). I mean there was no forewarning or indication of here leaving... just went to PA for a couple weeks and she said on phone she would not be coming back after a week. After 23+ tears. WTF? LOL Fucked me up and have been fractured since: Not broken. :)
Wasn't thinking about another being with here just the loss: The mourning was a bitch. And I did mourn as if she had passed.
Guess what I am contributing here is that "drug" in any form is not a good option unless it gets to the point of having to go to psyche. I saw one briefly after but they were wary of giving me meds but did give some type of benzo...can't remember which but they were gone in about a week and gave me something to increase appetite (wasn't eating worth a shit) and it freakin worked... ate like a banshee. Actually they said that drugs werent going to be given: After I said I did not come for drugs as I can get whatever I want off the street, they looked at me like I was crazy. I pissed test befor all of it and know I had morphine and aplrazolam... i just want HELP. hahaha
Much love and hope things crinkle out soon for you. There is someone for you and waiting: As stated earlier by madness: Men are not all that way.
I know it freakin hurts... almost made me fuckin bug out mentally and was thinking go to the trails and do not come back (which would have been demanding and just to survive would help bring me outta that funk).
Following as homie does have some experience with serious heart-break.
Love always
💔❤
 
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Break ups are a nightmare and beyond the mind and heart tennis of, 'what happened and who did what'... Go feel like a piece of vulnerable jelly and when there is extreme, emotional pain...
and I know this is the most awful advice but am tired and when I get into that depressive space where I feel nothing I usually take time out and watch cartoons. This is TERRIBLE advice but it works over time. ;)

 
Lots of distraction and trying to turn those days into months. Time heals all wounds imo. Or at least makes them less sore.
 
Now here's something that I have quite a bit of experience with. In 30+ years of dating I've been treated like garbage, dumped, cheated on and betrayed in numerous ways. I've also dealt with plenty of unrequited love ("You're such a great guy, but I only like you as a friend."). Ouch.

One thing I've found is that trying to numb my heartache with drugs and/or alcohol only seems to prolong the agony. I'd have to sober up eventually, and all the pain would come crashing down on me 100 times harder (especially if I was hung over or in some other dopamine-depleted state).

I know that this sounds like psychotherapy mumbo-jumbo, but the only way that I can truly get over a hurtful situation is to let myself feel the pain, embrace it, work through it and learn from it. Only then can I begin to genuinely heal.

I hope you're starting to feel better. We're all here for you.

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
The process isn't as fast as popping dilaudid, but if you invest in your future by making the good choices today and fighting the good fight, then you can come out of this as a stronger person.
 
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