blackbeard1138
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2014
- Messages
- 6
First off, I have a feeling this might be in the wrong section. Apologies if so, I did try to look to see if there is a section for it.
Anyway, I have severe depression, GAD and bi-polarism. I've tried many anti-depressants like Zoloft, Paxil and others. I remember long ago, half a decade or so, when I had a job and everything was pretty decent in my life, I was taking Lexapro. Of course, since things were decent, I didn't really give a full effort to the anti-depressants because I felt I didn't need them. So I'd take them for a few weeks at the most and then tell the Dr. that they didn't work. I don't really remember how Lexapro made me feel.
My friend takes it and he says it helps me. He's in worst shape physically and probably pretty close emotionally.
Fast forward to now. I've been very good about taking my medications, which include Zoloft and Lamictal. The Zoloft I've been taking for a year or so and the Lamictal for several months. In short, they are NOT working. I still feel very depressed, have somewhat suicidal thoughts (I've attempted three times in the past, so these thoughts aren't nowhere near what I've had and most likely are just thoughts), feel no motivation to change what is the lowest and worst point in my life, have no focus, loss concentration, lose things easily, have rapid and constant mood changes and generally feel like not doing anything at all. Getting out of bed is a hassle.
I have no money, no job and am living with my mom, which further increases my depression. I used to do some work for Amazon Mechanical Turk, which was something I could make anywhere from $10 to $20 a day with. Nowhere near enough but enough to get me some things to make my life a little easier. I was doing that everyday for months. Now I cannot even bother with that and haven't done it in months. Suffice to say I cannot afford a psychiatrist or psychologist or even a therapist, although I know I need them.
I do have an appointment with something called AccessHealth. Has anyone had any experience with them? I've been pretty frustrated with our local mental health department so I am naturally skeptical. AccessHealth is a non-profit organization that's supposed to help you connect with physicians who can help for very little to no money. I called and set up an appointment but they said mental illness may be hard for them to help me with. I am HOPING that they would get me a psychiatrist that can really see what would be best for me, as GPs receive just a general training of mental illness.
Ok, off on a tangent. See what I mean?
Anyway, I have an appointment with my GP in a few weeks. Last time I went I brought a long list going over my symptoms, with ADHD symptoms being most of them. All he did was prescribe Lamictal.
I really feel like I need something with a boost. I was thinking of asking him if I can try Lexapro again. Of course I can't just ask him for Ritalin although I really think it would help. I've tried Ritalin before and I loved its effects -- it made me feel productive and a noticeable increase in mood. I felt energetic and eager to do things. Haven't felt like that in quite some time.
So to wrap up this long ass message, what should I do? I am so pissed and tired that nothing has worked. Do I tell him that something that can give me a boost might help me to motivate myself in trying to fix this shitty situation I am in? Do i suggest maybe a trial at the least?
I know Drs are different and some are hesitant to prescribe certain meds, so I was just looking for some good ways of presenting my case and not coming off as some drug seeker.
Thanks and sorry for the wall of text...
Anyway, I have severe depression, GAD and bi-polarism. I've tried many anti-depressants like Zoloft, Paxil and others. I remember long ago, half a decade or so, when I had a job and everything was pretty decent in my life, I was taking Lexapro. Of course, since things were decent, I didn't really give a full effort to the anti-depressants because I felt I didn't need them. So I'd take them for a few weeks at the most and then tell the Dr. that they didn't work. I don't really remember how Lexapro made me feel.
My friend takes it and he says it helps me. He's in worst shape physically and probably pretty close emotionally.
Fast forward to now. I've been very good about taking my medications, which include Zoloft and Lamictal. The Zoloft I've been taking for a year or so and the Lamictal for several months. In short, they are NOT working. I still feel very depressed, have somewhat suicidal thoughts (I've attempted three times in the past, so these thoughts aren't nowhere near what I've had and most likely are just thoughts), feel no motivation to change what is the lowest and worst point in my life, have no focus, loss concentration, lose things easily, have rapid and constant mood changes and generally feel like not doing anything at all. Getting out of bed is a hassle.
I have no money, no job and am living with my mom, which further increases my depression. I used to do some work for Amazon Mechanical Turk, which was something I could make anywhere from $10 to $20 a day with. Nowhere near enough but enough to get me some things to make my life a little easier. I was doing that everyday for months. Now I cannot even bother with that and haven't done it in months. Suffice to say I cannot afford a psychiatrist or psychologist or even a therapist, although I know I need them.
I do have an appointment with something called AccessHealth. Has anyone had any experience with them? I've been pretty frustrated with our local mental health department so I am naturally skeptical. AccessHealth is a non-profit organization that's supposed to help you connect with physicians who can help for very little to no money. I called and set up an appointment but they said mental illness may be hard for them to help me with. I am HOPING that they would get me a psychiatrist that can really see what would be best for me, as GPs receive just a general training of mental illness.
Ok, off on a tangent. See what I mean?
Anyway, I have an appointment with my GP in a few weeks. Last time I went I brought a long list going over my symptoms, with ADHD symptoms being most of them. All he did was prescribe Lamictal.
I really feel like I need something with a boost. I was thinking of asking him if I can try Lexapro again. Of course I can't just ask him for Ritalin although I really think it would help. I've tried Ritalin before and I loved its effects -- it made me feel productive and a noticeable increase in mood. I felt energetic and eager to do things. Haven't felt like that in quite some time.
So to wrap up this long ass message, what should I do? I am so pissed and tired that nothing has worked. Do I tell him that something that can give me a boost might help me to motivate myself in trying to fix this shitty situation I am in? Do i suggest maybe a trial at the least?
I know Drs are different and some are hesitant to prescribe certain meds, so I was just looking for some good ways of presenting my case and not coming off as some drug seeker.
Thanks and sorry for the wall of text...
