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How can I convince my brother of what his wife is doing behind his back?

T

Troubles1

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
6
My brother and I were always close were only 2 years apart and been through a lot we really only had each other growing up so we always had each other's back. It took awhile but I finally grew up kids do that to some guys. My brother still is parting hard and gets in trouble with the law.
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Our only issue is with his wife I hate her she is a list, a thief, a bad mother, and the biggest who're I know. My brother thinks I have tried to break them up from the get go, but when they got together my wife and I were 25 and she was 17 who wants to hang out with a girl that age when u are 25?
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...There are many many things she has done and listing them all would take forever and my real problem now is that my brother was in jail for a few weeks back before Xmas and he is the provider of the opiates for both of them we r all addicts bit my bro and I have real medical issues and need them as well...
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. Anyway while he was locked up she tried to give me head for meds ,and when I turned her down she went to my best friend and offered him the same deal, besides the fact that it's my brothers wife we r both happily married with kids and as he put it if he was going to risk his wife for head it would be with Anjolina Jolie or someone like that. ..
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We r pretty sure another neighbor took her up on the offer cause she was not sick anymore and we seen them together. Now a few years back she tried it again with me and same thing I said no we were drunk at the time so I just let it go..... To show how immature she is and I know she is bipolar she actually told him she woke up with a ring on her finger now I laughed and told him to ask her were this so called ring was were did I get it a cracker jack box? Luckily my wife loves and trusts me plus after living with her she knows how she is but still how stupid of a lie plus she was always trying on clothes an coming into my room to ask my opinion when my brother was in the living room my wife hated that . But that's the type of girl he has..
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.my brother was in prison so we let her and her kids stay with us her addiction got bad and her whoring worse she was pregnant 2 times had abortions and ended up living with her dad's best friend he was almost 60 and that ended there friendship the guy changed her diapers as a kid for God sake..it was a sex for drugs thing..
. when my bro got out I told him in front of her.... they stayed apart for awhile but got back for God knows why but she said I was the one who tried to get with her and that she was a good little girl now he did not really believe her but we been in fights here and there always cause of something she has Done stealing from me or my Grandmaw or something and he usually ends up saying how I have always hated her and just want them broke up. Witch is true but dossent change the fact she is a horrible person that anytime he is locked up she sleeps around to feed her addiction.
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So do I once again tell him what his wife is they got married 6 months ago have 2 kids 1 is his the other is from her cousin yea messed up I know.. her family doesn't know who the real father is. even her cousin dose not know .she latched on to my brother when the baby was 3 months old she slept with my brother and just never left. She does that she is the guy on the couch.my wife won't let her in our house anymore because of her stealing.
. My family all hate her do I try and be the big brother and knock some reasoning into him or just let it continue. Sorry I not on my computer and its hard to write but I really would like to hear what you guys think I should do.
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you gotta at least try to tell him

if he doesnt want to hear it then I'd just back off
 
Your brother's gotta find this out on his own because he already thinks you are trying to break them up.
She can only do this for so long before losing her kids or getting her ass kicked or winding up in jail herself.
Stay out of it. Your wife is right by not allowing her in your home but there's nothing you can do about it.
 
if you have told him repeatedly then all you can do is block her from your life. if he's still with her thats because he choses to be even though its not wise.

give up trying to tell him and just cut her out of your own life
 
Sorry I am building a new pc my motherboard is fried.. so I am using my wife's kindle fire thing and am not used to it I tried to edit it a little to make it easier for you to read ( noonanymore. )
So basically what I am getting is just leave it alone and let it happen.man that's hard the person we r pretty sure she holed up with has herpes and I know it's not a life threatening thing but he also is Iv drug user so is she and he is not the most sane person he actually showed a few of us guys his balls during a outbreak so what else might he have and my bro also uses points and thinks sharing with his wife is ok cause there married .it's scarcity, dangerous ,what if he has aids ? Plus the kids I love both girls there 9 & 7 his daughter is a month younger than my son..
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I love my bro I wish he'd grow up for the kids but if she gives him something how will I live with myself. But I don't want to loose him either this is hard.
 
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I have to agree with everyone...must be awful to see your brother doing this to himself but if you've already told him the truth time and time again and he refuses to listen, I don't really see what options you have left. As pontifex said, maybe it's best to just kind of keep an eye on what's going on so that if your brother (hopefully) ever gets doubts about the whole thing, you can jump in and convince him of everything she's done. In the meantime though, all I can say is try to be there for him and his kids regardless... :\

Changed the title btw OP just to avoid having 'whore' out there.
 
recorded/video evidence.

Nah only kidding - if he doesn't want to believe you, then leave him be - he will see her true colours sooner or later, and you can be there for him when it all comes crashing down.

Reevaluate if it's not over within the next 4/5 years.
 
OP, I couldnt really make sense of your post but I get the gist.

Be careful about giving your opinions on what your bro should do with his relatonship. Strongs views may force your brother to choose between her and you. Putting yourself in the middle damages his relationship with you, and because of that, actually strengthens his attachment to her.

Be respectful. Be honest if he needs to be made aware of some facts, but tell him once and not again and try to tell the story in as impartial a way as possible.

Don't let yourself get drawn into bagging her out if they are arguing, because chances are they get back together and then all those words are hanging in the air. Let him call her all the names under the sun, but you mustn't join in.

Theres not much you can do except be frustrated but at least maintain a the bond you have by not telling him how to live his life.
 
If you truly care for your brother, I think you should at least be upfront with him once and see how he reacts to it. Tell him what you as a brother thinks without sounding like telling him what to do. But you have to be clear with your words, don't twist around words. If he listens, he listens. If not, you can only hope the best for him as that is his choice. On a sidenote, watch that lady like a muthafarm hawk!
 
You can lead a camel to water but you cannot force him to drink.
 
maybe the drug use has clouded his judgement, work on helping him get clean and im sure he will see that she is a no-good 2 bit whore.?
 
Maybe you your brother and your wife and his wife should all grow the hell up seek some help get clean and reevaluate who you choose to be married to. I don't feel sorry for your brother if he can't keep his ass out of jail then how can u blame his wife for not keeping her legs closed? It sounds like as of right now how everybody is living there lives that you are all perfect for each other.

Sorry I have a hard time feeling sorry for people that don't give a shit bout themselves. Idk tough love works. It straightened my ass out sounds like that's what u guys need. Good luck
 
If you have told him, you told him. I've been done wrong and still stuck around w/someone ...so I know what that feels like. Not your decision, he may or may not have his reasons...don't blame yourself. You have to worry about you and yours. It sounds like there is no "perfect course of action" here given the story. Keep on keepin' on!
 
I say tell him once more sincerely and unemotionally. You're telling him for his own good and this is the last time you will interfere.
If he believes you then sweet. If not; just keep a distant eye on the situation and be there with open arms when it all crashes to the ground.
 
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