Hello all! I am 38 yr old male. Been on opioids since I'm 21. I have a genetic condition that limits how my body breaks down opioids. Primarily cyp450. But also lack cyp2d6 entirely. I have now learned I had scheurmanns disease as a child. Coupled with 5 traumas to my back, my entire spine is trashed. I can function and work as long as I have my meds. Methadone 5x3 and oxy 10x2. It was about a 10yr fight to finally get on long acting to control my around the clock pain. I made it thru the mass boot from 2016 that all the doctors did (just criminal what they did).
I honestly can say I don't feel addicted. I for sure feel my body is dependent upon the meds, as when I go to long between doses my knees will start to ache and obviously back pain starts back in.
The pain at its worst feel like a sword thru my chest right out my spine. My injuries are t5-t12 and l5-s1. My lower back is completely tolerable, it the upper back thats debilitating. But all is well. I've been on the current regiment for 4 yrs now.
I find I am always in the market for picking up goods on the side. The constant fear of a doctor having ultimate control over my life by taking my meds away is absolutely terrifying, pain so bad i cant lay down, cant sit up. Its horrible. So I have a stock pile of fentanyl patches, Norco, oxycodone in IR and ER, some opanas and morphine. I know the day will come when my doctor leaves, retires, cuts me off, etc. And I dread that day. Hopefully I can get thru my adult working life, build some kind of retirement and deal with it when the time comes.
.
I've been a long time lurker here and there. Generally just to educate myself of various opioids, and cross equivalents.
I tend to be an open book, so please ask me anything. I will help with knowledge anyway I can. I could most likely write a novel about my life and battling the medical professionals and the stigma associated with opioids. I whole heartedly believe addiction is a mental issue. Dependency is a physical issue. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. And opioids have a great and absolute purpose to be in our lives. I like to live a sober life. I've never abused my meds or use them to get high. Infact I struggled trying to explain these thoughts to my doctors. Opioids just don't make me feel as if I've smoked a joint, drank a 12 pack of beer....if that makes sense
.
Anyhow, so long for now!
I honestly can say I don't feel addicted. I for sure feel my body is dependent upon the meds, as when I go to long between doses my knees will start to ache and obviously back pain starts back in.
The pain at its worst feel like a sword thru my chest right out my spine. My injuries are t5-t12 and l5-s1. My lower back is completely tolerable, it the upper back thats debilitating. But all is well. I've been on the current regiment for 4 yrs now.
I find I am always in the market for picking up goods on the side. The constant fear of a doctor having ultimate control over my life by taking my meds away is absolutely terrifying, pain so bad i cant lay down, cant sit up. Its horrible. So I have a stock pile of fentanyl patches, Norco, oxycodone in IR and ER, some opanas and morphine. I know the day will come when my doctor leaves, retires, cuts me off, etc. And I dread that day. Hopefully I can get thru my adult working life, build some kind of retirement and deal with it when the time comes.
.I've been a long time lurker here and there. Generally just to educate myself of various opioids, and cross equivalents.
I tend to be an open book, so please ask me anything. I will help with knowledge anyway I can. I could most likely write a novel about my life and battling the medical professionals and the stigma associated with opioids. I whole heartedly believe addiction is a mental issue. Dependency is a physical issue. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. And opioids have a great and absolute purpose to be in our lives. I like to live a sober life. I've never abused my meds or use them to get high. Infact I struggled trying to explain these thoughts to my doctors. Opioids just don't make me feel as if I've smoked a joint, drank a 12 pack of beer....if that makes sense
.Anyhow, so long for now!
