Hey ya'll!

[Kellsee]

Hey ya'll! You can call me Kellsee. I have been lurking for awhile. I have to say I am pretty impressed with what I have seen on this site. I love the idea of harm reduction because people are gonna do what they are gonna do. To think any different only leads to more denial and most of us know where all that can lead. I found out that I was an opiate addict when I was 19 years old. I was standing in my bathroom curling my hair and heard someone from the tv playing in the living room say "research has now proven that certain prescription medications given for pain carry a high risk for the potential of addiction". My very next thought was about how upset I had became the night before when I realized that I only had two oxycodones left. I couldn't understand why that was so alarming to me. Now I knew. Between the ages of 11 and 19 I had over 30 surgeries due to a cyst that was on my jaw bone. This had eventually required bone taken from my hip to be placed in my jaw. Although some of these surgeries were just small same day procedures basically I was under the influence of opiates during the entire development of my teenage adolescence. This was during the late 80's. My generation had been taught all about how to "just say no" to drugs. But no one had never warned us about the risk of something a doctor would give you doing what this has done to my life. I felt like someone had said "surprise! I have been putting heroin in your mashed taters all of your life!". By the time I first had the opportunity to consider the complex that I could be creating for myself the receive/reward circuitry of my brain had already been rewired. I do not know of life without this thorn in my side. I finally found stability with Suboxone and have now maintained 10 years of a vitally productive life. I use to see my addiction as a disability but as I get older I am begining to see it different. I would not have the same understanding of or relationship with God the way I do if it hadn't been for my addiction. I did not meet God in church thru religion. I met Him right in the middle of hell. It seems like all the years that I was getting high so many others were becoming conditioned by this world. From what all I've seen the most beautiful people are not born that way. They first have to be completely broken. From my experience there's not a soul more beautiful than that of a recovering addict. When it comes to my ability to empathize and understand others I am not sure I would be the way that I am now if I hadn't experienced all the hell that I have. The best view of people truly is from the bottom. Those that are the most vulnerable experience different kinds of predators. These predators are usually supported by the majority. Life involves a lot of irony. But I could go on and on lol. I'll stop here. But anyways this site is something I want to be apart of so here I am. I am here to learn, understand and help in anyway I can.

 

[bingey]

Hi kellsee welcome.

 

[deficiT]

Hey Kellsee welcome to Bluelight!

Check out our three Recovery Support Forums, should be able to meet plenty of other recovering addicts there. I also formed my spiritual beliefs through my addiction.

 

[Kellsee]

Hi kellsee welcome.

Hope I am doing this right lol. Hey Bingey! Thank you!

 

[Kellsee]

Hey Kellsee welcome to Bluelight!

Check out our three Recovery Support Forums, should be able to meet plenty of other recovering addicts there. I also formed my spiritual beliefs through my addiction.

Hey and thank you! Religion is all about following a set protocol. It took the battle between my will and desires to make me yearn to know God lol. Thank you for that info!

 

[Jabberwocky]

@Kellsee welcome to the family!!

did not meet God in church thru religion. I met Him right in the middle of hell.

I can relate to that.

 

[Coffeeshroom]

Hey @Kellsee and Welcome

Glad you joined and looking forward to what more you have to share with our community.

Regards
CoffeeShroom

 

[simstim]

Hello and welcome!!

 

[actionhero4]

People in your situation need vitamins (B type - B-3) , minerals (Lithium orotate), and supplements - maybe like L-THP extracted from one of the 50 foundational Chinese herbs.
action

 

[actionhero4]

Did you have other bad teeth and jaw infection problems too? People die everyday now from heart attack due to those long-term deep seated infections, which MUST be addressed. All root cannal teeth are infected... Your story was vety nice, it's true. action4

 

[negrogesic]

People in your situation need vitamins (B type - B-3) , minerals (Lithium orotate), and supplements - maybe like L-THP extracted from one of the 50 foundational Chinese herbs.
action

Lithium orotate made me feel odd, but i "prescribed" it for my girlfriend (10mg/TID) and she responded very well (she's being less troublesome ) but the benefit seems to be waning

 

[Kellsee]

People in your situation need vitamins (B type - B-3) , minerals (Lithium orotate), and supplements - maybe like L-THP extracted from one of the 50 foundational Chinese herbs.
action

You are exactly right. I have looked into all the damage and consequences that long term opiate use can cause. At this point I feel like considering all of the consequences of what I've done to myself are vital when it comes to ever feeling good again. I take a lot of supplements and herbs daily. I worked at Hooters for years with a girl who is now a nutritionist. She's helped me a lot. It takes a lot of time to learn about all that s possible with herbs and supplements.

S-acetyl l-glutathione...which is the best form of the master antioxidant that protects against oxidative stress
Vit D
Vit C
Vit B complex
Choline
Mag citrate
Fish oil
Probiotics
NAC
ALCAR
Milk thistle
L-theanine
L-arginine
And more plus some herbs

Ty for advising the L-THP. After looking into how it affects dopamine production I see why it would be so beneficial. This is the first I've known of this herb. Sounds like something I've really been missing out on. What form is best? I've found it in powder form.

And why lithium?

 

[Kellsee]

Did you have other bad teeth and jaw infection problems too? People die everyday now from heart attack due to those long-term deep seated infections, which MUST be addressed. All root cannal teeth are infected... Your story was vety nice, it's true. action4

It wasn't infections or anything to do with my teeth. It didn't affect my teeth so I got to keep them. I had a cyst on my lower jaw bone that kept returning even after surgical removal. After time this really began thinning out my lower jaw bone. They kept trying to place donated bone grafts in but my body kept rejecting them. Eventually they begin taking bone from hips. The places they placed the bones didn't hurt no where near as bad as where they had taken the bone from. For a very long time I had trouble placing enough weight on my leg to even be able to walk. But I was told that I had to force myself to or my muscles would develop atrophy. If ya don't use them ya lose them. This was what required the pain medicine more than the rest.

But yes I've heard that with infections.. especially in molars and from root canals...they can cause those issues you stated

 

[nznity]

Welcome to the best underground fórum on the internet.

 

[Kellsee]

Hey @Kellsee welcome to BL. I was similarly prescribed opioids for a few surgeries and a bad back. I didn’t think that I was an addict until I ran out of medicine for a few days. I heard those announcements on TV too and couldn’t believe that a doctor made me a junky. I was too addicted to them at that point and would run out way too early and have to buy them off the street. I eventually started doing heroin because it was so much cheaper than pills and worked so much better.

Long story short, I got sick of being dope sick and went on to suboxone for five years. It was great to be free of the fear of withdrawals until I needed another back surgery.

Those suboxones make it so you can’t get any pain relief from major surgery. I was told everything would be fine by my prescribing doctor, but I wasn’t. The surgery failed. They kept pushing morphine into me and I just kept screaming. It wasn’t until a young anesthesiologist heard about my post op pain, that he got together with his team and put me on a ketamine drip. Ketamine opens up the opiate receptors for morphine and other opioids to work, displacing the suboxone.

They did a bolus of ketamine that looked like a horse syringe, and I immediately went into a K hole and my heart started beating so fast and then everything turned red and I screamed for someone to help me. Then the doctor put versed into my IV and I came right back from hell.

I was brought up to a hospital room and was put on a ketamine drip. By that time I had been pumped full of so much morphine to kill a small horse that I could no longer pee. I was so full of urine that they had to stick a catheter into my bladder to drain it.

It wasn’t until 36 hours later that I felt the morphine. The ketamine worked and knocked off those sticky buprenorphine molecules, but it took a full day and a half to feel any pain relief.

The point of my story is don’t get hurt or otherwise need surgery if you are on suboxone, buprenorphine will block all of the effects of other opioids, especially if you have been on it for ten years.

Ty for this. We have a lot in common. I desperately needed to know all of this from another true experience. I am scheduled for a complete histerectomy and exploratory to ensure they get it all. I have a huge mass. I was willing to just stick with my Suboxone for pain because as long as I've taken it I can't imagine being able to stop long enough to clear it out of my system enough for any other narcotic pain meds to help me. But the doctors are refusing to allow me to do that and insist that I'll need much stronger meds than Suboxone. I'll be left with over 70 staples in my tummy. But my sub Dr is trying to tell me that all I have to do is stop taking Suboxone the day before my surgery and then take the pain meds as long as needed for recovery and then return to Suboxone. I don't think they've had enough patient data of people my age that have been taking Suboxone as long as I have that have been in this kind of situation with surgery to even know what to advise or what could happen. Suboxone has a long half life and gets deep into your body. I don't feel confident about what they are suggesting. Everything you just said makes more sense to me. I've been doing video apts when I see my sub Dr. My normal dr was out today so I seen someone else I hadn't seen before. I was really impressed because after I asked her about it and told her my new concerns after reading your post she wanted me to read it to her. So many drs stick to protocol and will not think outside of the box. I love that she was so genuinely interested. Just like what you said about the morphine doing that...I've had it literally shut down my bladder before so I know exactly what you are talking about. She's gonna look into it for me. I am thankful that I've got doctors that address my concerns. I need this surgery asap. But this is a huge concern....understandably so.