Herpes

[Jeanpauldash]

So when I was going through a very traumatic time I also got sores (extremely painful) on my vagina. I had been pretty much brainwashed not to wear condoms even with gross trash people. Low self esteem or whatever. I was agoraphobic at the time and asked my mother to drive me to the doctor. She refused. At the same time a coercive rapist was asking me if I had an std and because my mom would not drive me and I felt I really didn't know and couldn't help myself I just said no. This is just a recollection from over a decade ago.

I have recently been accused of being evil, worthless, and a piece of garbage for this.

Years later a test said negative.

But for all that time in between I didn't know. And forgot about it.

What's your opinion, am I evil and worthless for saying I did not have it?

 

[Jeanpauldash]

Thanks...I just feel really hated and discriminated against for it for what I've heard people say. First of all, I feel like it should be none of their business. They don't care about my feelings and say I'm evil and encourage people to put me in physical pain. When I never had any evil intent and just couldn't handle what I was going through.

 

[Jeanpauldash]

People never really cared about my feelings, period. My parents treated me like utter shit. They told me to be a homeless person. They isolated me in a homeless apartment program and told me to hold one job for my entire life. They held me hostage out of state where I had moved alone with an internet boyfriend who wound up so abusive I tried to kill myself while he dragged me around homeless raping me into two abortions. They told me I could never go home. I'll never prove it but they knew about the herpes and pretend I deserve the piece of shit life I have and people go around praising them while acting like their victim is evil for not being able to handle herpes. The boyfriend who took me to get tested for stds seriously just had to be supportive to get me there. And he's the one who I find out sits there hating me with my parents. When I got the negative std test he actually stole the paper from me. I'm a good person and all I hear is I'm not good enough from people seriously hurting me.

 

[lord fanny]

I certainly don't think such a thing qualifies you for the term "worthless" by any means. Evil is way over the top.

You were negative anyway.

 

[kiely]

Find 'others' that do !!! . . . .And I think you will feel better.

I'm going to go feed my 'birds' right now.

 

[deficiT]

Well you are not a monster for having herpes, assuredly.

Honestly everyone should just get herpes. The only thing worse than having herpes, is being afraid to get herpes. Most people have one outbreak, maybe happens again during stressful times. idk. ive had it for four years, have only had one outside of the initial one.

will say that proudly and without care. no one should give a fuck about herpes and there should be no stigma with it. as far as chronic lifelong illnesses go, its relatively impotent. MOST people have herpes. Its just only contagious at certain times. I was being a really specific kind of POS to even get it, so for me, it's penance. fuck it. just tell people before you sleep with them and use protection. you'd be surprised how friggin many people have it its really nothing.

 

[deficiT]

also, yeah shit happens, you can't beat yourself up for that