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Trigger Warning Heroin

D

donattella

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 3, 2024
Messages
10
Hi all,

Im in a very special situation i never imaged myself into. So as you may know from my other posts me and my bf are both addicts. He s addicted to H, and i have a soft spot for crack and believe im starting to develop an opiod addiction as well. We have had a harsh couple of weeks, constant fighting, yelling at each other, name calling, it was a very bad period.

We had a good discussion the other day when i thought he understood, and that we were gonna work together on things. Today during th day i fell asleep due to not sleeping all night cause we were doing crack, and it was actually quite fun . But when he came home i was asleep so he could not enter the door, he broke it but did mot wake me up, instead i think he started either looking around and getting paranoid or as i would have later find out he had lost his bag and blamed it on me who was home while he was at work. I woke up 2 h later to him turning the living room upside down, yelling at me that i a liar without giving any explanation on what ive done. He saif he ll leave. I humiliated myself for him, begging him to stay.

He left and came back a couple hours later, apologised and i told him i cannot move over that so fast but he got some bad news at work so i asked him to stay with me if he wants to. He did. A while back we had a discussion on shooting h in the vein and i told him that make me very uncomfortable due to the fact that im terrified of needles and veins and if something happens id just pass out and could not help him. And the orher thing is without wanting to be judgemental he has an addictive nature and its an addiction. shooting up would just make things worse for him. Now he left the room and said he wont do it now or here.. but i dont want him to do it at all, how cam i convince him? Because if he does do it this isnt smth i would be able to get over
 
Just happen to ran across this thread, and I think I remember reading your story.

Unfortunately, if your BF wants to do inject heroin, there is little you can do to prevent it. Fighting, in my opinion, will only make the situation worse for you.

Do you trust him when he says
donattella said:
Now he left the room and said he wont do it now or here..
Click to expand...
 
lecroute said:
Just happen to ran across this thread, and I think I remember reading your story.

Unfortunately, if your BF wants to do inject heroin, there is little you can do to prevent it. Fighting, in my opinion, will only make the situation worse for you.

Do you trust him when he says
Click to expand...
Yes i do but i fear he s gonna do it in an even more unsafe environment. This is not what i signed for… before we were together i only smoked cigarettes. Now i feel like all that we can do together is get high and this isnt enjoyable anymore either . He knows this is a hard boundry of mine.. im almost inclined to tell him im fine with it but thinking about it makes me dizzy. I do love him a lot but i feel like this relationship is ruimning my health as i am trying to stay away from crack, but every time the cravings get a bit easier he comes with a “free bag” maybe not every time but it happened quite often. And i cannot help myself if there is in the house. Today as well i was determined to not do it and when i woke up he was already on it.. and the fight just made me give in. This is affecting my work, i slept all day doing nothing good thing i worked from home. Here is almost 1 am and he went to get more drugs because he feels like it, cause he is not fit for his iob . I tried to reason with him but he would not have it. I dont think he d share anything with me ( dont really blame him for deciding so, he used to share a lot and i was a bitch and did not appreciate), i just could never do so, everytime i had and he didnt i d give him even tho he says its not true, i think i d just have to look at him all night or be in the bedroom crying about it . There is a lot of details
Im leaving out but i really feel like he s one person one day and another the other, at least when he s on crack he s … not who
I knew and fell for. I dont want to leave him, but idk how to handle
How i feel, how to stop him without making him feel like all i care about is myself. Because i know that if i tell him that him doing this is a trigger for me, he s gonna say my actions made him do it, or idk. Maybe i am wrong and this is not what he thinks.. but i never seem to understand him fully…
 
Neither will get sober why together. If he wants to shoot he will and that just brings on a heavier addiction.
 
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