Hi All,
First time posting so forgive me if this is the wrong part?
Not sure what to expect...then again, people say it's good to talk right?
Anyway, a little about myself. I'm in my early 40's and have been smoking heroin for the best part of 20 years. Had the odd breaks here and there but always went back to it. The worst thing I guess is the fact that each and every one of my close pals also started smoking with some even injecting now. I don't inject, never have and never will....the fact that i hate needles I guess is a blessing in disguise.
Throughout this period, I've always worked, so I've always had the money to buy drugs. Heroin for me has always been my drug of choice, after a long days work I always used to look forward to going home to have a smoke and relax. Hell I even managed to fit in a gym routine, going gym 5 days a week and having that nice smoke after all the days work has been done. So not your typical heroin smoker.
But you know the time does come when you look at yourself and think, WTF? All i'm doing is working to support my habbit and as of January this year I made the decision to kick it once and for all. Suffice to say, it didn't go as well as I planned, but the long and short of it is I've now been off heroin for 3 weeks albeit using methadone to stop the WDs. Sure it's been tough, the mental cravings are so evidently strong during the first few days and having your dealer who you been seeing every single day for years texting you everyday cos all of a sudden he don't hear from you don't help. But with determination and willingness, I persevered.
Initially I went to the MD clinic and they put me on 50mls on a every day pick up with meetings every week, but i'm sure for those people who work will know, the way it's structured, it really doesn't work for people who do a 9 to 5 and yet you're still expected to attend meetings every week and pick up your dose from your chemist.
I was always weary of the MD WD's as i've taken it previously and the WD's is not something I would want to go through if it can be helped. Anyway, I decided after about a month of every day dosing to do it a different way. I started using heroin again but with the intention to only cover any WD's from the MD.
It took me 2 weeks of smoking every day to finally get a clean piss test for MDs. With this in mind, I started my next step.....to get off the Heroin WD's using a MD taper. I've read about the 3 dose MD taper over a week but rather be safe than sorry, i'm doing a month long taper.
As I've said, I am now off heroin for 3 weeks and counting, and yes I do still get cravings but they're not as strong as they were at the start. My current taper consists of the following which I've kept a record;
Mon: 70mls
Wed:70mls
Sat:70mls
Tues:50mls
Thurs:50mls
Sat:25mls
Mon:25mls
Today:25mls
So in all I've taken only 8 doses with a clean piss test for heroin. My next doses I plan on cutting down to 15mls for 3 doses, then 10mls for another 3 doses, then 5 mls for 3 doses, 2.5 for 3 doses, 1mls for 3 doses and then jump off for good.
I feel completely fine at the moment.......I get the odd sleepless nights and hot and cold flushes but none of the really bad stuff. I guess after 20 years I know what my body is telling me. The hardest part I guess is staying away from some of my close pals. One of them who is now injecting and is having a kid with his missus who also uses, it makes me sad cos when I speak to him all he talks about is doing sly ones with the drug workers and now that he knows I haven't been smoking, he's asking me for bottles of piss so he can use it. I wana hang out with him but knowing the temptation will be there just makes it impossible to see him, especially since I've only just stopped.
Anyway, I'm determined to stay clean this time....I just wana be done with the MD so I can finally move on. Everyone is different, so although my taper may seem abit fast, what matters is that it works for me and my body is ok with it. As you know MD has the worst ever WD's and I'll be dammed if I let MD take a hold of my life, I mean being on it really does grab a hold of your life.
I hope this is some inspiration to some of the people out there in the same situation, I know how hard it is as I've been there myself.....at my worst I was smoking a Q a week. Once even smoking a 16th in a day when before it would last me a week, that's when I realised it was getting out of control.
I would love to hear from people who have done a similar/successful MD taper. By the way, I still have 2 8mg of subutex left for absolute emergencies, however my 500mls of MD should see me through this taper, providing I don't relapse.
I'll be honest, I'll love nothing more than a good smoke and to chill and relax and watch some films, but the addiction really does destroy lives. Anyway....hopefully this time next month I will have been totally off my MD taper and 6 weeks off heroin. It's a tough road ahead, but this time I feel something different in me wanting to stick to it.....
First time posting so forgive me if this is the wrong part?
Not sure what to expect...then again, people say it's good to talk right?
Anyway, a little about myself. I'm in my early 40's and have been smoking heroin for the best part of 20 years. Had the odd breaks here and there but always went back to it. The worst thing I guess is the fact that each and every one of my close pals also started smoking with some even injecting now. I don't inject, never have and never will....the fact that i hate needles I guess is a blessing in disguise.
Throughout this period, I've always worked, so I've always had the money to buy drugs. Heroin for me has always been my drug of choice, after a long days work I always used to look forward to going home to have a smoke and relax. Hell I even managed to fit in a gym routine, going gym 5 days a week and having that nice smoke after all the days work has been done. So not your typical heroin smoker.
But you know the time does come when you look at yourself and think, WTF? All i'm doing is working to support my habbit and as of January this year I made the decision to kick it once and for all. Suffice to say, it didn't go as well as I planned, but the long and short of it is I've now been off heroin for 3 weeks albeit using methadone to stop the WDs. Sure it's been tough, the mental cravings are so evidently strong during the first few days and having your dealer who you been seeing every single day for years texting you everyday cos all of a sudden he don't hear from you don't help. But with determination and willingness, I persevered.
Initially I went to the MD clinic and they put me on 50mls on a every day pick up with meetings every week, but i'm sure for those people who work will know, the way it's structured, it really doesn't work for people who do a 9 to 5 and yet you're still expected to attend meetings every week and pick up your dose from your chemist.
I was always weary of the MD WD's as i've taken it previously and the WD's is not something I would want to go through if it can be helped. Anyway, I decided after about a month of every day dosing to do it a different way. I started using heroin again but with the intention to only cover any WD's from the MD.
It took me 2 weeks of smoking every day to finally get a clean piss test for MDs. With this in mind, I started my next step.....to get off the Heroin WD's using a MD taper. I've read about the 3 dose MD taper over a week but rather be safe than sorry, i'm doing a month long taper.
As I've said, I am now off heroin for 3 weeks and counting, and yes I do still get cravings but they're not as strong as they were at the start. My current taper consists of the following which I've kept a record;
Mon: 70mls
Wed:70mls
Sat:70mls
Tues:50mls
Thurs:50mls
Sat:25mls
Mon:25mls
Today:25mls
So in all I've taken only 8 doses with a clean piss test for heroin. My next doses I plan on cutting down to 15mls for 3 doses, then 10mls for another 3 doses, then 5 mls for 3 doses, 2.5 for 3 doses, 1mls for 3 doses and then jump off for good.
I feel completely fine at the moment.......I get the odd sleepless nights and hot and cold flushes but none of the really bad stuff. I guess after 20 years I know what my body is telling me. The hardest part I guess is staying away from some of my close pals. One of them who is now injecting and is having a kid with his missus who also uses, it makes me sad cos when I speak to him all he talks about is doing sly ones with the drug workers and now that he knows I haven't been smoking, he's asking me for bottles of piss so he can use it. I wana hang out with him but knowing the temptation will be there just makes it impossible to see him, especially since I've only just stopped.
Anyway, I'm determined to stay clean this time....I just wana be done with the MD so I can finally move on. Everyone is different, so although my taper may seem abit fast, what matters is that it works for me and my body is ok with it. As you know MD has the worst ever WD's and I'll be dammed if I let MD take a hold of my life, I mean being on it really does grab a hold of your life.
I hope this is some inspiration to some of the people out there in the same situation, I know how hard it is as I've been there myself.....at my worst I was smoking a Q a week. Once even smoking a 16th in a day when before it would last me a week, that's when I realised it was getting out of control.
I would love to hear from people who have done a similar/successful MD taper. By the way, I still have 2 8mg of subutex left for absolute emergencies, however my 500mls of MD should see me through this taper, providing I don't relapse.
I'll be honest, I'll love nothing more than a good smoke and to chill and relax and watch some films, but the addiction really does destroy lives. Anyway....hopefully this time next month I will have been totally off my MD taper and 6 weeks off heroin. It's a tough road ahead, but this time I feel something different in me wanting to stick to it.....
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I'm always interested in learning more about local lingo!