Helping an alcoholic

[wtblife]

My brother's an alcoholic, but I don't really know how serious it is and I can't bring myself to really try to do anything. I've mentioned a few times he really needs to stop drinking and he agrees, but he relies on it to sleep a lot of the time. He pukes probably once a week and it never affects his drinking, it's kind of scary. While he was here he spent 50-100 bucks a week on alcohol, I guess I'm in denial about how serious it is. Usually he buys some vodka or rum along with something flavored. He only drinks liquor and he goes through withdrawal when he stops so obviously it's bad.

I won't see him again til xmas and I'm thinking of trying to push it a bit harder. He relies on all sorts of medications along with alcohol to sleep and when he's out of one it results in him drinking more. Any ideas of how to help him or insight on the subject?

 

[Jabberwocky]

unfortunately its very difficult to help alcoholics, or any addicts i imagine but alcoholics are the only ones i have any experience of... withdrawal from alcohol is very dangerous so the best thing you can do is get him into a facility to sober up as he will need medical attention, then stay with him as much as possible when he gets out and try and work out what it is thats stopping him sleeping and try to sort that out. i self medicate a lot to sleep and its a very difficult habit to break, though luckily for me alcohol ruins my ability to sleep properly. its possible that he's using the sleep as an excuse to justify his drinking, so though its certainly a contributing factor, it may go far deeper than that.

 

[AfterGlow]

You can tell him that he's not welcome at your house and you do not want to be around him when he's drinking or under the influence. Encourage others to do that too. If enough people do it, he MAY start to realize that his drinking is costing him the personal relationships that mean something to him. It's only when things get really bad that he will WANT to stop, so make that happen soon rather than later. The longer he does this, the harder it will be. Advise him to seek out medical help to get through the alcohol withdrawals. He needs a supervised detox. Suggest he go to AA if he's open minded and willing to accept the advice of alcoholics who have quit drinking themselves.

 

[BeckyLee]

Unfortunately, unless he wants to help himself, all you can do is not be an enabler. Don't drink with him, let him know why you can't spend time with him if he's drinking, don't give him money, and firmly, kindly, and gently express how you feel.
My good friend is an alcoholic, and homeboy's even in love with me, but he still won't kick the booze. This is despite me telling him I will NEVER date an addict, and I would love to go to AA with him or help him in any way possible!

He needs to want it himself.

 

[Asclepius]

Wtblife

First let me say how lucky he is to have a Brother, like you, who cares.

From my own experience:

Firstly-Yes, it will get progressively worse(if not Fatal) if he doesnt address it immediately! Perhaps, tell him this firmly letting him know that your not trying to control him but you love him and genuinely want the best for him and for his life and know he does too.(Maybe you've done that already?)

Secondly- Your instincts are completely valid!(and denial is only a means of coping with something that is so confusing and frightening but will inevitably perpetuate the destructive behaviour). No one wants to frighten anyone but when it comes to someone's sanity, health and well being there are no excuses. Its imperative that he is encouraged to take his own welfare seriously as I'd imagine he is desperately struggling to keep his head above water at the moment .

I'd suggest that you suggest councelling to him first. Noone know's what is going on and he probably hasn't a clue himself and that will be the first thing to address that may help him. When things become unmanigable its time to shit or get off the pot.
Alcohol groups can be a gud or a bad thing depending on the individual....... someone starting off in the early stages (especially if he is younger) may be detered by them or find them even more alienating, so thats why Councelling may be the best initial port of call. If he has a good counsellor/psychotherapist, that he can trust, he may decide with them to ease into meetings/ or not depending on what works for him. Rehab may be a good idea to go through withdrawls but having someone professional to talk to about the various options he can choose will hopefully empower him to take steps for himself to get better-instead of feeling pushed into anything.
We cant make anyone do anything that they aren't open to, so in the end it is up to him to accept help and support...really hope for his on sake he does!
Also mind yourself and make sure not to burden your own welfare with his condition. Hope this might be of some help pet!

 

[wtblife]

I live with my family and I actually enjoy drinking with him, just not every fucking night. My family enjoys their alcohol to say the least and I would never think of taking the approach where I push him out, it just doesn't fit this situation.

He's got a psychiatrist which gives him all his sleeping medication and what not, should he be bringing it up to him? The main reasons I'm worried bout him drinking so much is because his gf has shared her concern with me and he's brought up pains in his chest multiple times. The pains are mainly sparked by adderall apparently so he has stopped using it so often and I told him he should really see a doctor.

He isn't really in denial, it's more like ignoring/procrastinating, I think I just gotta do more talking and sort of hold his hand a bit. Probably should find some activities while he's here so he doesn't just drink every night.

 

[deez_nuggs]

you said it yourself man, if you dont think you can do anything, you better believe hes not gonna do shit. It takes commitment, thats for sure.