Treatment Help with coming off of adderall, among others.

[Stats]

Hi everyone,

(1) If this is in the wrong place, I apologize moderators and please feel free to move it.

To make this as short as possible...
I had never tried drugs until I got to college--I was a 4.0 HS student and top of my class. Freshman year I was introduced to *gasp* marijuana, and I loved it. It wasn't long until I was dependent, smoking when I wake up, on my way to class, after class... you know the deal. I managed to keep my grades (still a 3.9 student) and professional life intact, even publishing a few papers before I turned 20.

Shit hit the fan this past Fall (as a junior), and I became severely depressed as I had spent every cent on my weed addiction and lost many long term friends. I started doing harder drugs (coke and benzos) once in awhile, but told myself it was ok because I was still getting straight As and no one knew about my dirty little secret. One day, I got caught stealing and was charged with a felony for having scissors (i.e., 'burglary tools') with me, first offense. I hired a lawyer and got it thrown out with 3 years probation. At that point, I decided to do something about it and withdrew for the term to try and recover.

Low and behold, I did kick the weed addiction. Never thought I would but it happened (and stopped with the harder stuff), albeit at a cost. I started doing adderall to keep my life together (I wouldn't get cravings, I could focus, and I felt *happy*). Now it is finals week for this semester, I am still doing adderall on a daily basis (20-40mg) excluding weekends and should finish the semester with a 4.0.

I truly, truly, want to be drug-free again after this semester. I have a prestigious internship coming up one week after the term ends and I want to know what to expect coming off of the adderall usage and any tips/tricks for not falling back into the hole I've been in. I figure a one week "cool-off" will rid most of the obvious symptoms of withdrawal, but I am not so naive as to think that it wont be a much longer ride than that.

For those of you who have managed to stay clean: what are your secrets? Both short term and long term. In my heart, I know this is what I want.

 

[WhiteDream]

I personally wrote, above my PC (Where I always sit) NO x, NO y, NO z (I got 3 things I cant do). I look up everyday and I just feel bad for not even being able to be sober.

Day 1 off GBL -> wrote I on the wall. Now I just gotta make it tomorrow and then every day after that.. But Im starting by doing something about it, one step at a time

One thing that I want to, but kinda cant/dont want to quit, is weed. :/

 

[Jabberwocky]

^I'd work on quitting whatever is easier for you first, but there is evidence to also suggest that stopping everything at once can be very effective.

To respond to the OP's question, find things in life you enjoy and can devote yourself to. Do you have any passions and hobbies you can invest your time and energy in outside your internship/academic life? Devoting yourself to your academics can also be very rewarding too of course, but it's good to diversify.

You may want to start developing a mindfulness practice for yourself. This can be a really effective way of developing some core habits that will allow you to better manage and regulate your mood without having to rely on things like substance use to do so.

There are also things like entheogens and psychedelics that may be helpful in you achieving a new perspective geared towards overcoming your past challenges with cannabis.

What is it about your prior cannabis use that makes you want to quit in specific? How has it harmed you? Do you feel like there are ways for you to restructure your use that might ameliorate these harms, or that the only way you can address them to prevent something like them from having a negative impact on you in the future is to stop all together?

Taking a good long break from any regular pattern of substance use can be a really healthy thing to do, so not using for the summer may be just what the doctor ordered. I'd just suggest looking back at your use to see why you used and what it was/is you get out of using cannabis. That should help give you some insight into what you need to work on in terms of self care, what your priorities should be in terms of taking care of yourself, in order to meet the needs that your cannabis use fulfilled, however perhaps unskillfully at times.