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Help Please?

M

Miss Incognito

Greenlighter
Joined
May 31, 2012
Messages
7
Alright so there's this guy, we'll call him D. Me and D met up at a club months ago, he was a bartender for the bar that my friends and I frequently went to. He had always been interested in me but I had a boyfriend. However my boyfriend and I had decided to call things off for a bit. One night after a couple shots I ended up back at his place. Thank god I was on my period, we didn't have sex and all we did was make out and I gave him a blowjob. He managed to get my number from a mutual friend and that's when things started to go downhill. He didn't immediately start texting me so I really had no idea that he even had my number. My boyfriend and I decided to get back together, I didn't feel the need to inform him of my night with D seeing that we weren't together at the time. All of this had occurred while I was in college so I came home for the summer and that was when I received a 5am sext from D. After a few minutes of 'Wtf?' I simply turned my phone off and went back to sleep. He continued to send me inappropriate texts even after I told him to stop and that my boyfriend and I were back together. When I told him that I was back with my boyfriend he called me a liar and said that he would see for himself. That weekend he actually drove three hours to my hometown but of course he didn't know where I lived and I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him. Thanks to that mutual 'friend' he was in my driveway another hour later. I was able to shoo him off with a threat to call the police. Even after I threatened to call the police he still texts me! I don't feel threatened by him which is why I haven't contacted the police, I'm just annoyed. I've even tried to be a complete bitch to him and yet he still doesn't get it. It's beyond me how you can get so attached to someone you didn't even have sex with. Any ideas or suggestions?
 
Dude's a psycho. He's STALKING you. You should feel threatened. Tell the cops.
 
Definitely agree - change your phone number asap, and go straight to the police. Better to be safe than sorry, and be vigilant - avoid being alone at night in isolated places (walking to your car for example) and things like that. The police should offer you some more advice.

You also might want to consider telling your boyfriend about what's going on also, and perhaps he can somewhat firmly but politely call this guy and let him know that you guys are back together, and from one guy to another, he'd appreciate if he stops contacting you. If you consider going down this route, only do so if you are sure that your boyfriend can keep cool and not aggravate the situation.

Speak to this mutual "friend" of yours also, in regards to giving out not only your phone number, but your home address also! WTF, I'd be seriously pissed about that. Also, advise this "friend" about what's been happening, and see if they can offer any insight as to this guy's habits, personality etc.

I'd be treating this seriously if I were you. No need to get super-paranoid, but complacency in situations like these is generally not wise.
 
Really good advice above. Would only add that if possible, keep all sexts, texts, etc. I don't know if this is possible, but the people who help celebs with stalking say to keep your phone number just for stalker messages (don't listen to them) but get another number for friends and family and tell them not to give it to anyone. Also do not ever respond to his messages. You must have a strict NO CONTACT policy with this guy. Every time you respond is a win for him. It doesnt matter what you say, he hears it as positive reinforcement. If you can, read Gavin deBecker's The Gift of Fear. Be safe.
 
Oh, the power of a BJ.

My very first BF in high school dropped out of school and became a serious drug addict. He would have dreams of me sleeping with the neighbors (wtf?) and then throw rocks at my second story bedroom to wake me up at 3am. This happened every fucking night and it was not romantic. It was annoying as shit. Not only that but the rocks would fall onto my mom's car below my window and chip the paint. After he kept doing it endlessly, my mom called the cops to get him to stop. It wasn't after the cops that he finally stopped.

So, OP, I hate to say it, because cops involved is always my last resort, but sometimes it will scare someone like that off.
 
There's plenty of true stories/cases that start off like this (hell, over much less than a blowjob, like just a glance) and have ended in death.

This is definitely not something you should brush off or take lightly. If the guy made a 6 hour round trip drive to your house, I'd say he's pretty serious. As stated above, I'd inform everybody you know and even the pigs about the situation. I'd even suggest getting a concealed weapons permit after you've made your report with the police about the matter so it's on record if you ever need to shoot the maniac.
 
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