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Help: Gambling Addiction

fengtau

fengtau

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I am not sure if this is more suitable here or the gaming forum but here goes.

I have a close friend who recently (2 years ago) got addicted to gambling, I think. He has been borrowing money from his friends (there's a group of 10 of us who is very close to him) and lately he is borrowing from loan sharks just to feed his gambling habits. It has gotten so bad that his family (wife and 2 kids) got threatening messages from the loan sharks.

Initially, he would lie to us and give us excuse that his company had recently closed down and needed money to pay for his family expenses, etc. Recently, one of us saw him in a casino alone gambling. I know that gambling is OK if you are not addicted to it but this is a guy who is deep in debt and he is still gambling.

We have tried several times to get him out to meet with us so we can talk and see how to help him but failed. Everytime we setup a meeting over drinks, he'd give excuses and cannot attend.

What should we do? Are gambling addiction the same as drug addiction? Can we do an intervention? We do have counseling here that can help him but how do we get him into the program?

I have done some research on the Internet but I would like to hear from people who have had experience on this.

Thanks in advance.
 
It sounds like you guys really do want to help which is a major thing that will help him. Having a solid support network makes it a little easier. If he won't come to you, go to him if possible. Does he know his wife has had those calls from the loan sharks? Maybe once he realises it doesn't effect him alone he may see the light a little. Best of luck.
 
Yes he does know about the threats from the loan sharks. We know his wife as well and have seen his wife came crying to one of us.

Yeah, we do have a tight group of friends who are willing to help but now we need to get him proper help.
 
yes, gambling is like drugs
ppl actually go for days on those pokies not eating and sleeping
i had a bf whos dad is a gambling addict (the horses)
there is a gambling anonymous and im guessing a support group similar to Al-Anon for family and friends
sadly however, until hes ready to face his problem (like a drug problem) he wont b able to start recovering from his addiction
 
I absolutely hate saying this because it sounds so cliche'd but unfortunately its true.
Actually i just read d_w post above and she has pretty much said it - he needs to admit he has a problem, because the only person who can help him is himself. No intervention will be able to have long term affects until he himself can see he has a problem - gambling acts the same way drugs do - even neurochemically.

Something would need to happen I guess to make him see he has a problem - something he wasnt expecting - like maybe his wife and kid leaving. Even if its only temp it may wake him up to what is occurring .
 
i know that here in the states, we have a gambling addiction hotline and meeting groups, you may want to look into similar programs in Malaysia.

it sounds like you and your friends are doing whatever it takes to get this guy to stop but as with any addiction, the addict is only going to cease the behavior if THEY want to. i think sitting down and talking to him about how his wife is coming to you and other friends crying b/c of his addiction, it may make him realize what he's doing. barring that, i cant' think of anything else :\

good luck :)
 
Thanks for all the input guys. I spoke to my friends and we all pretty much decided to talk to him and let him know that we are not abandoning him and that we will be there to support him whenever he wants to quit.
 
As a former gambling addict, it is very very difficult to stop. You either have to realise what you are doing is not hurting just yourself, but others, or you have to hit absolute rock bottom... sometimes people can figure it out and stop before these dramatic circumstances occur, but often it takes something MAJOR before you learn.

Gambling Anonymous is a similar sort of program to AA, and can be very helpful in helping to counter the addiction. That would be a good start.

What really needs to happen is for him to break out of the mental cycle of just one more bet... thats all I need to get back, get even, pay back the loan sharks. The chance of making that one BIG win to pay back everything is so minimal that continuing to chase it just puts you more into the red. It is a hard thing to realise what you have done or what you are doing, but once you have realised that you have a problem, you can do something about it. Until he realises that he has a problem, and is willing to do something to change, nothing will change.

CB.
 
We have a gambling counseling thingy here that is similar to GA and I hope to be able to get him into that. Again, like you said, he has to want to change as forcing him to change will not work. I just hope it is not too late.

Thing is, how can I make him see that he is hurting people he love?

Thanks stellablue for moving this over here. <3
 
Maybe by confronting him.

Find where he is gambling then take his wife and children there to meet him and talk it out? Could work... could get very very uncomfortable...

You have to break the cycle of self-delusion... and that is very hard to do...
 
^ Tough call. If you did that to a drug addict, they would blow up and go nuts (drugs do wild shit to your brain of course). For a gambling addict, they are probably more mentally stable than your average drug addict, so at least you have that going for you (possibly). Its your friend, you know him best, so you decide if "getting him there by any means" is the best way to take care of business.
 
interventions work at times, it doesn't hurt to try.

if his family is getting threats, they need to leave him now. i am usually against leaving an addict, and giving ultimatums, but this is different.
 
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