Hello all. My secret might be uncovered soon

[puffhuffle]

Hey all so thou I have been a reader on BL for years and years this is my very first post .

There is so much I want to ask and also need to ask . My 15 year secret life I feel needs to be sorted but I have lived two life's for so long and actually done a fantastic job at it . That good that my whole "normal" life will blow up . But things are going down fast so I need to now accept I cant do this alone ( get off everything and be healthy)

 

[Jen X]

Welcome to the site. I also hide my using so I get where you're coming from . What are you using?

 

[puffhuffle]

It been mainly tramadol for years always going way to high but if I can get it I will abuse anything and everything. I very recently came in to contact with lisdexamfetamine and well that's opened my eyes to just how bad I can get . I actually am crazy and no matter what I tell myself I can't not do it till I have none left .

 

[50shadesofDave]

Welcome, you will have already seen in your time reading the boards that there is sound advice to be found.

Hope you soon get moving in the right direction.
Dave.

 

[Jen X]

Try to get to the root of the problem. The reason you use.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I actually am crazy and no matter what I tell myself I can't not do it till I have none left .

This is unfortunately normal.

Guilt is a huge sobriety killer, and what you named is extremely common.

I was on the up-and-up with many privileges in the USA, but just the fact that I had meth in my possession and couldn't not use it in 2020 caused me to violate probation by failing drug tests 3 times in a row and sent me to jail, almost ruining my entire life by resurfacing a felony that was continued without a finding contingent on me being sober.

I haven't used meth for almost two years now, just to help you understand that it's incredibly hard to have substances and not do it when in the midst of dependance.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Try to get to the root of the problem. The reason you use.

THIS.