Healthy emotions?

[nuttynutskin]

Has anyone else here grown up where you weren't supposed to show emotions and anger? How did you find a balance?

 

[Jabberwocky]

yep. and i was undiagnosed autistic, so more prone to tantrums than most children. i remember being put on the naughty step and the moaning bench so many times and being desperate to go to the loo but afraid to move, adults laughing at me cos i was so upset. and never really understanding what i'd done wrong. i learned to just keep everything in until it was overflowing and i'd lost control. not surprising i got into downers really.

i still haven't found a balance unfortunately so can't help you there.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Thats really sad chinup. You are an amazing person and I am sorry you suffered like that

 

[nuttynutskin]

So no one's found a balance? lol I'm guessing therapy is probably the suggested route?

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I'd like to reply to the title of the thread more than the question within, and state that ALL emotions are healthy emotions (unless you suffer from some form of personality disorder), it's just that the manner in which we respond to them can be unhealthy sometimes.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

So no one's found a balance? lol I'm guessing therapy is probably the suggested route?

My balance is allowing myself to be depressed and mourn and grieve when I need to and to be happy when I can be.

If I need space to express my emotions I do it. Repressing emotions isn't healthy.

 

[Mafioso]

CBT and DBT can definitely help, learning to identify cognitive distortions will help temper your emotions. But in my experience, that isn't really going to help all that much with bringing up repressed emotion. Maybe some other sort of psychotherapy could help with that, but personally I've been finding a lot of benefit from intense exercise and mindfulness. This helps me from spiraling into negativity because I can't express myself. I was always told things like "just say OK then do it".

As far as expressing yourself... for me, I find I need to be proactive rather than reactive, as in not letting emotion build up so it gets so intense that it makes talking about it uncomfortable for everyone. Sometimes this means saying something, sometimes it means consciously choosing to let something go and sticking behind that decision. And then aside from that, learning that it's ok to have negative thoughts but it's important to temper them when choosing to express or act on them. How you express your negative thoughts at work will probably be very different than how you would around your close friends, so just be mindful of how you are coming off.

For me the balance comes from learning to value myself enough to care about my likes as well as dislikes, but not overvaluing myself to where I'm foring my values onto those around me.

 

[RV Mystery Journey]

Meditation helped me tons with balancing emotions.

Can't relate to that past though sorry.

Edit: nowhere near emotionally adept haha. But I can't imagine where I would be without years of daily meditation practice not without ups and downs and missed sessions.

 

[Shady's Fox]

Depends. I've grew in a rough hood, Detroit. It was mainly black dominated so I would get shy or even attacked sometimes. I couldn't get pass certain areas because I wasn't black and so on. My childhood was toxic as my family was. They didn't help me with anything, my mom drugged me, abused me. Locked me in a cage, my father left earlier. So I only had myself. I got back up on my own feet overall. Left the road and got my own life. Where I wasn't allowed to show any kind of emotions was the ghetto and when I was making money off-corners. But aside for that I was myself the whole life. I knew my limits and myself since I was a kido. The environments I grew in shaped me.