Having "the gene," or how many of you come from a family with history of addiction?

Bluefornow

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Having "the gene," or how many of you come from a family with history of addiction?

Hello, I'm new to posting here (but not to reading other posts) and will soon do the stand-up thing and introduce myself in the standard intro thread.
For now, I need to... Vent, I suppose is the only word.

question: how many of you come from a family in which others besides yourself, if applicable, have struggled with or dealt with addiction? Say, a parent, sibling, etc.

I'm sorry if I'm just launching into an off topic here, it's 4:30 where I am and I don't imagine sleep is in my future.

My father has always worried that myself or my siblings would exhibit signs of having "the gene," as he called it--- addiction, specifically to opiate substances.
Always knew that some shit went down before and most likely during my birth and childhood. Mom always seemed clean, but both parents were (and are) punk fringe sorts who did a LOT of living in their early lives. My dad went to rehab when I was a kid and ended up having a mental breakdown, going missing, and winding up committed to a psych hospital for a few months. After that he was on methadone for years and is now (ironically) a chronic pain patient taking a legal script for serious pain meds (3 spine surgeries, metal plates). Usually, he manages this well enough, no where near living the lifestyle he did when I was a child.
Recently, due to reasons too complex to go into right now (money, medical issues, etc), he ran out early. Almost 3 weeks early. This has not happened in years.

Before I go into this further, and possibly alienate any of you for outing another persons addiction-related dirty laundry instead of my own, I'll say now that I am an opiate/h user. More on that in a minute.

He is currently lying on the couch wailing, has been for hours. I have seen withdrawal many times when I was a kid up until recently, with him and with friends. We have a close-knit family, and as I am "functional" (my family does not know of my history), I have stayed with him and paid the bills plus most of his mortgage monthly, for about a year. I stayed with him when he was sick in the hospital for months from unrelated health problems, and I'm staying with him through this. Ive tried to get him something to help him, tried to find a way to tide him over... Gotten burned at every turn. Lost money, mine and his.
He has another 10 days or so of this, until he can refill... Already experiencing what seems like auditory hallucinations, raving, angry, can't sleep, etc.
I'm sitting here listening, trying to help, be here, offer anything I can. I can't do a damn thing to help him, I know, but has anyone else watched a loved one experience the agony of withdrawal?

As to the genetic addiction thing... Pretty much every person on his side of my family has an addictive history. Most are dead. My mom's side is also full of alcoholics.
I don't know about my siblings, for the most part ive gotten the impressions they're straight and always have been.. Both have fine, normal lives.

I myself was straight until about 2 years ago. I did some small crap, Adderall and continued my smoking routine, then I started in on tabs. At first, not much, things were cool. Made me a little ragey occasionally, but mostly I felt good and industrious. Cut to me having a stressful period, hadn't done anything in awhile, was with some friends, one of whom was at the time supping h on a really minor level. I wanted a high, nothing around, bright idea! So-and-so has h right now. I snort it. Only get a little off of it, so the next day I decide to do it again. Get talked into/talk myself into shooting. Withing about a week, using frequenty in relatively small amounts. Progresses to a binge type thing, a couple days wthout, followed by several of daily using. Somehow, I hide this from my family.
Here's the thing; It fucked me up. Not in a good way. It felt great, but from day one my body flipped out. I was fine without, NEVER experienced withdrawal. Not once, even when I was using steadily in much larger amounts with people who experienced withdrawal immediately after running out. But when I actually used, it kicked my ass. Throwing up EVERY time I used, usually starting right after the rush faded. I still felt great, and usually didn't mind being sick. I woud throw up for hours, and after the high wore off, I'd be cool again.
At one point, I came into a little bit of money, and started using every day, sometimes twice, for a couple weeks. Quit cold turkey once the money ran out and experienced no problems. I've continued using off and on, and the periods between using have become longer in the past fee months. I don't "jones," I never did. I crave the ritual a lot, and think about using more than I actually am able to, but for the most part, I live my life as if I never touch the stuff. When I do it, I'll binge, but then I'm square. Ive never been sick, or "needed" it, or had any issues other than wantingto get fucked up from time to time.
At one point, I was doing more and more and more, and never got to a place that seemed to fit, or to really take hold... Lucky, maybe. I'm below 5'4" and always been around 90lbs, and during the time when I was using the most, I was down 10lbs from that, so I would've thought that under normal circumstances this shit would hit me HARD.
I'm not stupid enough to think that if I keep using, I'll be unchained prefer, though. It's just astounding to me that most of my family, father especially, are RULED by this addiction, and have been in one shape or form for their entire lives. Many of my friends are also life-long addicts, moving from one substance to another over time. They're governed by the addiction, and I love the effect of opiates, and other drugs, but I can generally take it or leave it when it comes to kicking anything I've ever used.

I'm sorry if this seemed random, or rambling. I'm stuck here, with someone I love, who is in AGONY and I cannot help them, and ive been muddled about my thoughts of my drug history and my addiction-steeped childhood for a long time. I just wondered if anyone else has had similar experiences...

Family member with addiction, odd reaction to opiates (actually most substances Ive had)
 
Im sorry to hear that you must witness this. Do you have no means at all of sorting out anything more for him? Trying another source? Getting more money? Cant you go to a detox clinic in america that could tide him over? Thats the wrong way to go about it....i wouldnt know how to go about this for yo man.....could you order poppies for him? I dont know what to suggest without breaking rules and whats out of the question etc

As for the original question, my mother cannot go a day without drink. Her brother, my uncle, was a closet homosexual and a good doctor. He liked a good drink, but still managed to hold his job. He came out the closet and in a small Scottish island like the one i used to live on, that isnt a good idea. His family rejected him, he became a heroin addict and alcoholic and died on a park bench after losing his job and self respect.
Her other brother fucked himself up with drink so badly from age 13 that he is now completly zombified and addicted to xanax and various meds to treat depression and liver problems. He is a shadow of a human.
Her sister drove off a cliff last year after taking too many valium. She was really depressed.
Her other sister is addicted to valium and tried OD'ing 2 times. My mums dad was addicted to cigs and booze.

My dad is, or was a heavy drinker. I dont know where he is now with whatever family he is fucking up.

I think depression seeems to be the recurring theme in my family. But addiction is certainly a trait of mine. As a kid, i would always do everyting to excess, even if i knew it would hurt me. I still do that, with EVERYTHING to this day. I will excessively abuse myself, a substance, a foodstuff, toothpaste when i brush my teeth.....anything and verything. I get obsessive over it. I simply have to do it.
I was diagnosed with autism as a child and did exceedingly well in school. I was studying hard and doing well but I could never pay attention, despite still requiring a focus..2 different things, focus and attention.
Then all my focus became on drugs. Then working out. Then getting bored quickly, and running into the woods for 2 weeks and living there, but returning home and acting perfectly normal. Then i get a lucid state where i can contemplate all this....such as now. I can see all the things that happen.
Then a point comes where something clicks.

With regards to your situation, im sorry you must see your father go through this. It must truly hurt, but im glad you came and posted on here. You will get alot of respect and care here, my friend.<3
 
Thanks for the responses, firstly.
I also realized I made multiple typing errors, sorry about that! I'm nearly stressed out of my mind right now, and not sleeping enough to be as quick-witted as i'd like.

Anyway, I've tried calling in favors and going through various channels to get what he needs, but unfortunately, these people are sketchy as fuck. The people I personally deal with are golden, nice people, but they only supply h, and there is no way I could suggest that to my dad. it would kill him to know of my use. Poppies are possible, I am facing some financial problems, but I'm going to try. Kind of waiting on someone who might have some tabs for him... I doubt it'll go through. I got him a bunch of footballs and he's been going through them like candy, and doesn't even sleep for five minutes. Definitely not working.
 
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my family has this gene, definitely ;)

my grandpa was told, after *each* heart attack, to stop smoking and drinking. he wouldn't stop, and his third heart attack got him. that's on my dad's side. on my mom's side, i have about a dozen or more aunts and uncles, and most of them get drunk and some "party it up".

as for myself, i definitely enjoy a "chemically enhanced reality". i think that, if done right, it can improve one's life... "sustainable hedonism" is the term.
 
i know i have a lot of relatives on my dad's side that are addicts of various sorts, but i haven't talked to that side of the family since i was a kid so i don't remember what their particular vices were. on my mom's side my great-grandpa was a gambling addict, my aunt was addicted to speed & booze, my grandma is addicted to painkillers (her options are limited, so i don't know if this counts), and my cousin just kicked heroin. due to their parents' & siblings' drug use, both my parents abstained from drugs and i've never seen either of them even drink alcohol. i used to wonder if it's a coincidence that both sides of my family happen to have the addict gene but i really don't think it is because after my mom divorced my dad she married another guy who abstained from drugs but has the addict gene in his family too. bonding over shared struggles maybe.....? people stick to what they know.....?

even if i didn't know my family history i would know that i have the addict gene because i have a tendency to crave things that i really like. i'm not obsessive, but when i find something i enjoy i'll do it a lot, like reading a particular author. i hate doing only a couple of lines of coke. i have to have an 8-ball or more. when i take benzos i like to get enough for at least a week's worth of consumption. like the op, i like to binge on drugs but when they're gone i don't feel an intense urge to go get more, with the big, fat exceptions being alcohol and nicotine. i think i'm able to do this because when i started experimenting with drugs i hung out with people who were older and they taught me how to do drugs responsibly and they used drugs to gain self awareness and not just as a way to party.

to the op, there's gotta be someone that you or your dad knows who has an extra bottle of darvocets or vicodins from an injury or the dentist or something, right? i bet you could find some opiates easier if you hit up all the old people you two know rather than trying to go through dealers. i bet you've already thought of this, but people have a tendency of coming out of the woodwork when you need them to. neurontin really works to curb withdrawal symptoms and clonidine is supposed to help too. good luck to you and your dad, hope something comes through for you.
 
I have relatives on both sides of my family who have had addictions or drug problems with tobacco, alcohol, and Amphetamines. Neither of my parents or close relatives had issues with drug addiction unless you count nicotine during a time when most people smoked, and caffeine.
 
Speaking of having the gene....

Family history of alcoholism raises obesity risk

By Julie Steenhuysen
Fri Dec 31, 2010 5:20pm EST

CHICAGO (Reuters) - People with a family history of alcoholism may be turning to high-calorie treats instead of booze to satisfy their addiction, U.S. researchers say, a change that could be fueling the obesity epidemic.

Because alcohol and bingeing on junk foods stimulate the same parts of the brain, it may be that people with a predisposition to alcoholism are replacing alcohol with junk foods, says the team from Washington University in St. Louis.

This is especially true for women, they said.

"Much of what we eat nowadays contains more calories than the food we ate in the 1970s and 1980s but it also contains the sorts of calories -- particularly a combination of sugar, salt and fat -- that appeal to what are commonly called the reward centers in the brain," Richard Grucza, who worked on the study published this month in the Archives of General Psychiatry, said in a statement.

"Alcohol and drugs affect those same parts of the brain and our thinking was that because the same brain structures are being stimulated, overconsumption of those foods might be greater in people with a predisposition to addiction."

Grucza's team compared addiction and obesity trends from a national survey conducted in 1991 and 1992 and in 2001 and 2002. Almost 80,000 people took part in the two surveys.

The team found that in 2001 and 2002, women with a family history of alcoholism were 49 percent more likely to be obese than those without a family history of alcoholism. The same was true of men to a lesser degree.

Grucza said the study suggests alcoholism and obesity are cross-heritable, much like alcoholism and drug addiction are. He said some of this may be related to changes in the environment, such as increased consumption of junk foods.

The study is part of a body of growing evidence for a link between alcohol abuse and obesity, particularly for women.

The alcoholism-overeating link might help explain rising obesity in the United States, which has doubled from 15 percent of the population in the late 1970s to 33 percent in 2004.

Drug firms are eyeing the alcohol-obesity link in hope of reaching the potentially huge U.S. market for obesity drugs.

Earlier this month, Orexigen Therapeutics and Takeda Pharmaceutical won backing from a U.S. advisory panel for the diet drug Contrave, which combines naltrexone, used to fight alcohol and drug addiction, and the antidepressant bupropion. The drug aims to target cravings, curb appetite and boost metabolism.

If approved by the U.S. Food Administration, the drug would be the first new weight-loss pill in a decade.

(Reporting by Julie Steenhuysen in Chicago; Editing by Bill Trott)

link
 
My dad is an alcoholic, my older brother is an alcoholic, I never really liked alcohol. But, I was addicted to opiates for 8 years. Been over 4 years opiate free, but I know that I definetely have an addictive gene/personality. My little sister was addicted too, but now clean. I tend to be addicted to certain food, drinks, snacks ets. Like right now I am addicted to fruit punch gatorade and white cheese popcorn. I'm like WTF. Last month I couldn't get enough coffee cake. A few months ago it was peppermin cookie ice cream from ben and jerrys.

If its not one thing its another. I have just decided to give into and ride it out. I will stop eventually and move on to something else. I know that doesn't sound healthy but at least I am staying off the drugs/alcohol.
 
Update

I thought I would let you guys know how things are turning out...

It's been a damn roller coaster.

From my first post until yesterday evening, he's been off all substances and very sick. Cold turkey-ing it and basically out of choices. Yesterday, I started calling people I knew, friends of friends, etc. (I did try to find something from one of our older acquaintances and came up empty-handed). Finally got a call back from someone who said they had oxymorphone 30s. Went back and forth ALL NIGHT and finally met up with him and made the exchange; it cost me $120 for two. I was pretty upset about the price, I'm not rolling in cash by any means and I'm now totally broke. But the situation right now is desperate. We'd even been calling local detox places, but the ones his insurance covers are either full or outpatient, and the available places are harsh no substance, no medical oversight, cot-in-a-room-full-people type places. Basically like being stuck in jail while you detox.
Anyway, we quartered the 30s and are trying to make it work. He should have several days of relief. We will see.

I am keeping and administering the meds, so far so good. But here's where the bullshit comes in.
A little background:
My sister is straight, doesn't mess with ANYTHING. But our dad was honest about what was going on with him, and so she knew he was withdrawing. Obviously, she knows his history and has seen it before too, in limited degrees.
Anyway, before I got unvolved in trying to find something on my own, he called someone he knew, friend of a friend, and set something up. My sister fronted the money, and my dad got screwed and ditched. So, her money is gone.
Fast forward to him suffering for days, and I eventually get ahold of the guy with the 30s. I pay.

Today, sister is over. Dad is doing ok, able to sleep a bit. Still not great, but worlds better.
While she was here, a friend of his called (totally unaware of dad's current problems) and wanted to come visit. My dad is a painter, so he works from home, and this friend was interested in buying a painting, so even feeling bad, my dad really wanted him to come by. Well, he was still ok from the meds, wasn't experiencing symptoms of withdrawal, but. He panicked and immediately asked for more medicine. My sister and I both tried to get him not to, since we don't have money for anything else, and are worried about it lasting long enough anyway, to stave off WD. We caved, and gave him some med. The friend stayed over for about an hour, an immediately after, my dad asked for Xanax (also trying to conserve those, can't get more). I tried to talk to him, and his reasoning was that he was nervous after dealing with the friend.
I go upstairs after, and my sister begins loudly complaining that our dad is a true drug addict, etc. He just WANTS the meds, even when he doesn't need them.
She really ranted about it, and she let me have it for knowing people who could help him. She's "disappointed."
Now, my sister is my best friend. We've been at odds more and more lately (she's very judgmental, and her reaction to some of the events of our childhood has been to reject any even small resemblance to our parents former wild-child lifestyle).
I seem pretty responsible, and haven't fucked up in front of her or anyone else in my family, but she hates my friends, etc. I am a pessimistic person, but I try really hard to see the good in people, she however is not similarly motivated and has many defenses. It's very hard to get close to her.
But we're very different. I have trouble even drinking. If I'm out drinking and I'm happy, I can sometimes keep a balance, but many times I end up binging. If I'm at home, and more depressive, I'm bottomless. It'll seem like I can drink endlessly and not get drunk. She really judges me for this, and is totally unaware of my other substance transgressions.

But... It really pissed me off that she lashed out, judging ME for trying like hell any way I could to help our very sick father. And then she goes and bitches that he's basically a good for nothing addict?
It's a fucking disease, people. And to denigrate someone who has made mistakes in the past but managed to keep his shit together and be responsible for YEARS-- it's maddening.
 
Hi Bluefornow, I'm so sorry to hear about your predicament. The love and concern you have for your father is admirable and you've done the best you could. I think it's really important that he gets in to a rehab program as soon as possible so keep trying to find a suitable one that will take him.

Bluefornow said:
And to denigrate someone who has made mistakes in the past but managed to keep his shit together and be responsible for YEARS-- it's maddening.
It was very harsh of your sister to lash out at you, but when something upsetting as this happens people generally need to lash out at someone. She's probably just angry at the situation, rather than actually at you for helping him in the way that you have. Hopefully your father will have success with the taper using the oxys and can then get in to a rehab program, then your sister will see the merits of the way you managed the situation <3
 
man really sorry op. good vibes to u and ur father.

as for "the gene" ya i got it. my moms dad was a gambling addict, she was an alcoholic, 2 of my cousins were addicted to meth. my sister was a coke head for a while. my dad partied like a wild animal back in the day, liked his coke from what i hear, he drinks daily but not to get drunk.
and me i am a heroin addict. the complete opposite of my whole family. my mom never done it and liked uppers when she did drugs and said if she had the money she woulda been a coke head, my sister liked coke and uppers. i guess my dad likes opiates but never abused them, hes had several surgeries, 2 replaced knees, back surgery, broke his leg and ruptured his spleen in a motorcycle accident, and is supprisingly not even on any opiates now.
 
I don't believe in alleles that bestow alcoholism because they have gotten proposed and then shot down over and over. Its more complex than a single allele in my opinion. I'm not discounting.

As to the study with the link between obesity and alcoholism I'm not seeing any evidence that there were adjustments made to compensate for economic status, education levels, or other factors that skew such things. The family histories that included alcoholism likely involved more stress growing up, more poverty, less support, fewer resources, on and on that could casually contribute to obesity without being genetic. Many published studies are deeply flawed and I could be wrong about this one as I'm not finding an abstract or the study to look at methodology.

THIQ got lots of press about being a biological marker for alcoholism a couple years ago and a treatment center in my area is still "educating" people about THIQ as proof of a biological alcoholism even though it is well discounted.

Lots of alcoholism in my family btw. I'm not saying biological alcoholism is disproven but that many of the proofs of it are quite frankly slop.
 
I am skeptical about genetics and the effect it has on substance abuse. If anything I believe the nature aspect of our background is more influential than our nature. This is coming from an individual who has a Father with an emotional eating problem, an alcoholic mother and a recovered alcoholic brother. Cigarette addiction runs throughout my family, because my mum and papa smoked cigs I thought it was a normal outlet for stress in Uni... needless to say changing my DNA is never a responsible answer to stress.
 
Sorry to hear about your situation. I know what it feels like to not be able to help your father with his illness while watching him suffer.
Six years ago my father was taken from us due to his alcoholism, when he decided to stop drinking it was too late, despite having many past scares or chances.
What your sister needs to understand is that your father is sick and it is way to easier to be mad at him for it then to suck it up and approach the problem at hand such as that you are doing-no matter how difficult it is.
The way I see it your sister is already starting to prepare herself for what is going to happen in the future, whether it is overcoming this addiction or saddly to say the same demise as my father's.....
....your sister does have a point though, you can't keep being your fathers safety net, you are only enabling his addiction by providing him relief for his wd's if you dont follow through on finding him treatment.
Treatment is a whole nother story, if one doesn't truly want treatment they won't get it even if they go through the program...
Its gonna take an ultimatum of some sort because I personally dont know you but for me I know there is only so much suffering one can take.......and it sounds like your sister is getting closer to that.
Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your family.
 
I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties with your father and sister. I wouldn't take her comments personally, anger is usually a cover-up for fear or sadness.

Regarding the addiction "gene", I just don't believe it. In neuroscience research people like genes because it offers simple explanations to complex issues. But at the very least there is an interaction between genes/environment, I don't care what kind of genes somebody has if they never consume a drug they will never become dependent on it. But honestly I think most genetics research is bullshit, there are so many environmental factors that are important.

My whole family seems to be dependent on one thing or another. One grandfather was a heavy drinker, the other abused ritalin and drank too. One uncle got into crack, two others heavy alcohol, two aunts heavy alcohol. My father coke/alcohol/speed. And a whole bunch of overeating and cigarette smoking. We're a happy bunch :)

I think addiction spreads in families more through children not being taught appropriate emotional coping skills, while also having more difficult situations to cope with due to dysfunctional parenting.
 
Yes a lot of my family are addicts. My dad, my dad's dad and a lot on my dads side of the family, me and both my brothers.

I most definately believe it is a genetic thing.
 
I believe it is a disease as well. Mothers side of the family we have opiate, gambling, and alcoholism. Addiction has tore up my family and myself many times. My advice is ignore the craving and tell yourself that your addiction is talking to you. Tune it out !
 
I was adopted and I have known that fact since I was very young, I started using drugs when I was 13. I started using them because I just wanted to, not because I had it around me all the time,or because I had shitty parents,or peer pressure, because I wanted to experience them, and that I did. I found out that my bio. father was big into drugs and the culture when I was about 23, I am now 29, but seen, and been through enough to make me older. I have always thought it weird that I never new my bio. father or anything about him until I did some digging myself that I ended up choosing the way I did. My days of errant irresponsibility are over, now I know what actually helps me deal with what I can't fix myself in my life and use responsibly . ;} HOOAH harm reduction!
 
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