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havent slept in years

T

tenshu2k

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 10, 2009
Messages
214
i'm really at the ends right now. i know the root of my problem isnt sleep, but in so many ways i almost feel it is. sometimes i just want a downer, and be able to wake up and live a normal day, but it always happens to never work that way.

alcohol was and is my first and biggest vice. i drank heavily for a few years, and i tapered it down once i got through college, but i felt like i needed a drink to stabilize me and get me through the day and night, especially a couple at the end of the night so i could relax and get to sleep.

i realized my problems, and soon tried to eliminate my daily drinking. i substituted with whatever i could find for sleep. it started with the basics: diphenhydramine and doxylamine. neither worked very well. i built up a tolerance in a matter of weeks and i felt so tired in the mornings it wasnt worth the effort.

i tried to take some time off. i would sit in bed endlessly, until i would pass out for maybe an hour or two before awaking again. id pass through stages like this through the night. when i was up, i would have to caffeinate myself to stay awake. when i didnt, i could lseep for a little while, but it was still abnormal i felt.

i tried melatonin with reasponable success for almost a year. i gradually had to increase my dosage to feel any effect. i went from 3mg to 6mg, to 10mg, which is when i stopped feeling any effect. i tried to scale back down based on suggestions, but to no avail. it seems to have no effect on me throughout 3-4 years of usage on and off.

i tried zolpidem and the CR variant. i found i passed out for around 3-4 hours max, but felt like i didn't really sleep a night, and just transported a few hours forward. in my memory and in my bodys feeling, i hadn't slept.

most recently i tried some xanax ~.5-1mg daily. it calmed me a bit, but didnt really help me sleep.

i really feel like i'm losing my mind. i cant remember the last time i slept normally, without taking anything.

i've been trying for a few weeks, but i tend to stay up for days on end, and then crash heavily. its making it difficult for me to function as a normal person.

what can i do?

i've seen doctors, but i dont see a long term solution. the longer i'm going the less mentally stable i'm getting.
 
have you tried doing a psychedelic recently? that resets the levels in your brain
after that how medicine affects you could be exactly how you want it to imo

I would ask for remeron or ativan... both sleep aids and both will knock you the hell out. It's not a perm solution right now but you gotta sleep. don't take anymore xanax, that's for fast acting relief of anxiety. to pass out on that you'd need more than a bar (2mg). also, my dr told me sometimes they prescribe adderall in cases like this. it's like the exact opposite of the other reason adderalls even on the market (narcolepsy/constant falling asleep). i can vouch taking a small dose let my brain relax and chill enough for me to sleep. i think i've even read people on here say adderall helps them sleep. i know you want to do this naturally but if that's the road you want then your best bet would be teas
 
Does your doctor have any information as to what is causing the difficulty sleeping? Have you gotten lab tests done?

If none of the medications seem to be working then maybe focusing more on the psychological level can be more helpful. Therapy, stress management, emotional awareness, meditation, etc. Maybe a journaling session and meditation just before hitting the sack will put your mind at ease and let you drift off more easily.

Good luck man, it sounds like a shitty place to be. Hopefully the cause will be found and you'll be able to get some rest.

@molly: In what way do you think psychedelics will reset his mind? I think their effects will vary depending on the individual's intention and background. They've helped me tremendously but I do not think they have an inherently beneficial effect on all problems.
 
I'm the exact same as you where if left along I would stay awake 36 hours sleep 12 hours or about that. The solution for me was exercise, biking to and from work which is 13km away every day has me getting up at 6am and very ready for bed at 11. Also alcohol may seem like it helps you sleep more but it isn't good sleep and can actually keep you up.
 
Since molly897 already brought up Adderall, I would like to share my experience. :)

tenshu2k, for many years I experienced problems sleeping similar to yours. These problems started years before I first tried any drugs. I was often exhausted but went for days without sleep because I simply couldn't fall asleep. When I did sleep, it was usually only a couple of hours at a time because I was jolted awake by a surge of adrenaline around the 2hr mark...or I would sleep for close to an entire day at a time. I was more likely to fall asleep during the day and be awake at night. For years I thought I was going crazy seeing things from the corners of my eyes and hearing voices and sounds that weren't there. My mental state was in shambles, I was severely depressed/paranoid, all I wanted was sleep which seemed like a simple human function that I should be able to obtain, but couldn't. My anger and frustration often kept me awake.

When I was 19, I was diagnosed with ADHD. It was almost 2 years before I was first prescribed Adderall. One of the best and most surprising side effects this medication has had was how it affected my sleep patterns. After years without any sort of circadian rhythm, I was able to sleep 6-8 hours at night and wake up feeling refreshed the next morning. It allowed me to think rationally, calmed me down, and allowed me to finally get some sleep.

Without Adderall, I still do not have a normal circadian rhythm. I went a few weeks without, and I was back to waking up dozens of times during the 4-6 hours I would try to sleep at night. In the end, I shifted to being awake 18 hours, sleeping 6 and being awake another 18 going around the clock on my 22 hour day.

Finally, I have found ONE thing in particular that has been incredibly detrimental to my ability to sleep with or without Adderall. This is something I was not consciously aware was affecting my ability to sleep until very recently. Six years ago, I developed neurological problems that manifested as reflex seizures. One of the triggers was flashing lights. One night in a fit of desperation, I banned all flashing lights (from computers and USB hard drives) from the bedroom I shared with my fiance. Much to my relief, that night I truly slept for the first time in weeks.

While my seizures have largely subsided, I still can't sleep when there are flashing lights in my bedroom. First I feel agitated and angry, then I become disoriented. I would like to put it out there that if you have any electronics in your bedroom that have flashing lights especially blue/white/green LEDs (USB hard drives, laptops, clock radio, etc.) I you may want to cover the LEDs with black electrical tape, or turn your electronics off completely the next time you try to sleep.

If you have a night light, you may want to consider turning it off. Don't leave TVs or computer monitors (especially CRT) on when you are trying to sleep. Many of these have an almost imperceptible flicker that is usually 60 hertz (cycles per second). This alone can induce an alert almost fight or flight response in some people which will keep you awake when all you want to do is sleep.
 
I don't really sleep well anymore either. I stopped sleeping well after my BF died and I lost my job. I now work for myself, and I have a never-ending fear that my income will be gone one day. This has led to poor sleep.

I drink valerian root tea at night. I try to alternate with another tea to avoid tolerance, but I have built a tolerance whether I like it or not. I actually had some weed last night. Weed helps me sleep like a baby, but I get really vivid dreams that bring out my biggest fears, so I hate it. Last night was bad, so I slept well, but my dreams put me in a funk today.

I've alternated valerian for melatonin. When I keep with something like a 3-4 day rotation, I can keep away from a tolerance.

Alcohol is a weird thing. I do the same as you do -- I use it to relax and fall asleep. However, I'll wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and I can't go back to sleep. The more I drink, the worse it is.

When I was with my BF, I used to do just a tiny bit of weed, and it was awesome for sleep, but I don't have an endless supply, so I eat my brownies sparingly LOL

Another thing that helps me is to watch a little TV before I go to bed...no work, no laptop, nothing. Just sit in bed with a TV show. TV bores me enough to make me fall asleep. LOL
 
adderall could work. . When I don't have it sometimes I won't sleep... but I am sooo lethargic.
 
^^^ Amphetamines for sleep? Are you kidding me seriously? I find that even if i do sleep on dextroamphetamine that my sleep quality is pretty well fucked up. It's better then not sleeping at all on speed but not by much. So yeah amphetamines for sleep is abit like suggesting sleeping pills for hypersomnia atleast in my opinion.
 
I want to weigh in on stimulants sometimes helping with sleep. A lot of the time, my difficulty in falling asleep stems from being so mentally exhausted that all my mind is able to do is focus compulsively on the beating of my heart and the rhythms of my breathing. This hyper-awareness of my physical processes (especially considering I have a mild chest deformity, so I'm probably more aware of my heartbeat and my breathing than the average person) keeps me from falling asleep.

Having taken a stimulant earlier in the day -- but not so much earlier that it's worn off and I'm completely sapped -- can help my thinking to leap more easily into the meandering introspection most conducive to drifting off to sleep. Of course, weed is superior to any stimulant for lulling me into this sort of thinking, although weed also does tend to make me dream less and wake up less refreshed than when I sleep sober.
 
alcohol and the hypnotics (z drugs, benzos, barbiturates) jack sleep and dreams around badly .
if one is taking sleeping pills or boozing hard to sleep it it merely a matter of time until severe depression is experienced .
insomnia is been a struggle for decades for me . sometimes i just say fuck it and don't sleep or even try though the night . next night i will fall out .
even 50 mg of quetiapine, which will not knock me out but will keep me down for 6 plus hours, interferes with dreaming .
all these strong meds have side effects but we falsely trust that they won't bite us - maybe others but not ME.
 
have you seen the movie the machinist? its a thriller about a guy who hasn't slept in years. he eventually loses his mind and ends up sleeping once he gets into a jail cell... have you tried that?


kidding aside, you need some antipsychotics man
 
^
yes Christian Bale is a pimp.

paranoid android said:
^^^ Amphetamines for sleep? Are you kidding me seriously? I find that even if i do sleep on dextroamphetamine that my sleep quality is pretty well fucked up. It's better then not sleeping at all on speed but not by much. So yeah amphetamines for sleep is abit like suggesting sleeping pills for hypersomnia atleast in my opinion.
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The comedown helps many of us sleep. The drain of energy is exactly what we need to get us to bed. They do give GHB for narcoleptics.

Klonopin has helped many people go to sleep, including me. Captain Heroin talks about Temazapam which I heard is great for sleep, GHB is also another drug that you can use, although I never see it around.

LEDs and any lights disturb me, I close my shades before I go to bed. Temperature is also an important factor. SSRIs can help too, but try everything before them.

I heard that you can also take stuff like Seroquel.
 
One of the best medications for attaining deep sleep is Elavil (or any tricyclic antidepressant). They prescribe it for fibromyalgia patients who can't sleep and it really works. I've taken it and have never slept so well in my life but the side effects were too severe for me (weight gain mostly). It blows valerian, kava, Xanax, opiates and Benadryl out of the water.

Because I like lists, here's a list of things I've tried that can help insomnia:

Vigorous exercise during the day
Herbal supplements like passionflower and kava
OTC antihistamines (doxylamine, diphenhydramine)
Warm milk or calcium + vitamin D before bed
Epsom salt baths
Cutting back on alcohol, caffeine and other drugs
Carbohydrate-heavy meals
Proper sleeping conditions (comfortable bed, cool/dark bedroom, silence)
Avoiding cellphone and computer use before bed

If you haven't already, you should consider getting tested for sleep disorders. I suspect I have one myself and realize how badly it can fuck with your quality of life. Sleep is important for every bodily process, including immune activity, cellular healing and mental functioning, so don't underestimate its importance. I currently take kava or benadryl to help me fall asleep but rarely sleep 8 hours undisturbed. Still better than nothing :|
 
Klonopin has helped many people go to sleep, including me. Captain Heroin talks about Temazapam which I heard is great for sleep, GHB is also another drug that you can use, although I never see it around.
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Benzos help some people; they are an alright short term solution but a very bad idea for long term use.

GHB is a terrible idea. Besides being horrifically addictive, it is also ultra short acting. You get literally 2 to 3 hours sleep tops. When they prescribe Xyrem to narcoleptics they have to prep 2 doses before they go to sleep, set their alarm clock for 3 hours after the first dose (which is really not needed because the dopamine rebound wakes you up anyway) then take a second dose in the middle of the night to go back to sleep only to wake up in another 3 hours.

Did I mention it is by far the most addictive substance I have *ever* taken?
 
I feel for you buddy, anyone who knows me knows how long I've fought w/insomnia. It's beyond frustrating, it's at the point where I cope being up for 3 days, then I will black out at random moments. I've spent hundreds on specialists, sleep studies etc... never gotten a damn back! I've been up well over two days now. Minute you figure out something - please let me know !!!
 
With no disrespect, if the benzos have not worked for you then maybe try Seroquel and a little Vodka.

This is not a professional opinion.

Serouquel is available online for a reasonable cost

On a related note tho, when I was using methamphetine, I found GHB to be most effective to produce sleep.

All the best.
 
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