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Have all your old running buddies disappeared?

chief ten beers

chief ten beers

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2006
Messages
173
You ever get to the point in life when all your old party buddies are no longer there? I'm there now, all my old buddies who I used to party with are no longer there for whatever reason. Some have moved, some are dead, some no longer party, one is in jail, some I have no idea where they are. It's a sad day when you feel like partying with a good old buddy or buddy's and there is no one left to call. I have people out of state, but my old hometown where I once had so many friends are not there anymore. So looks like I'm going to have to go it alone tonight, getting old sucks. Cheers for the lonely one's out there:(
 
I've always just tried to keep meeting new people, i guess.
So...i've not really experienced this, although lots of friends and party-partners-in-crime have come and gone (and some have even returned again).
People are always going to live their lives at different paces, so i think it's good to try to go with the flow, if you can, and find the right people at the right times.
I mean, you'll never recapture past glories or relive your youth. And that can be hard to come to terms with.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Ballpark figure will do, for context.
 
spacejunk said:
I've always just tried to keep meeting new people, i guess.
So...i've not really experienced this, although lots of friends and party-partners-in-crime have come and gone (and some have even returned again).
People are always going to live their lives at different paces, so i think it's good to try to go with the flow, if you can, and find the right people at the right times.
I mean, you'll never recapture past glories or relive your youth. And that can be hard to come to terms with.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Ballpark figure will do, for context.
Click to expand...
I'm 49, getting up there I guess. I should have stayed married, that slowed me down for a little while. But being divorced and with not much going on it's easy to use. Lol it's just weird when all your old party buddies aren't there to call up anymore, never had that experience before. That's what happens eventually, most get sober, die, jail, move on....and I'm still sitting here alone with a beer and some memories...pretty sad lol:\
 
It's true, your life is hardly over. :) My advice would be to get out there and meet new people. Get involved in something you enjoy and you can meet like-minded people. My old friends and I still hang out occasionally, whenever we're visiting our families for Christmas usually only, or every few years someone visits someone (we all live in very different areas of the USA). Some of them have kids, some are clean, some I haven't seen or talked to in forever and might never again. When I moved here, 11 years ago, I had no one. I had to make some new friends. Fast forward to now, and I'm as close with these friends as I have ever been with anyone, we are huge parts of each others' lives. I also have a wonderful girlfriend who is easily the best woman I've been with. It just took time and putting myself out there. I didn't put myself out there for a long time after I moved, and I was pretty lonely (even though I had my ex-wife, but she was poor company a lot of the time, I felt lonelier with her in the end than I did when I was lonely and single). The most important thing is to not hole up and get stuck in a rut, you gotta get out and do stuff. Doing something you enjoy or love or that makes you feel good about yourself (or any combination of more than one of those) is super healthy in the first place, regardless of meeting new people or not. :)
 
Yup, most of us are getting into our 30's now. A lot of us have been in and out of rehab and have legal problems, myself included. A few have OD'd but as far as I know they were resuscitated but they didn't quit(as far as I know). Some have gotten married and have families now. Some have gotten serious, dug their heels in and are working on their careers. Some seem to be maintaining but I really start to wonder what their life is going to look like when they hit their 40's and 50s if they keep their lifestyle up.. money drugs and sex seems like all you need when in your 20's but I'm starting to realize that those things are just superficial and the mind desires much more than that.

Some are still spiraling out of control and falling into the deep end... For the most part we have all gone out separate ways, partying and drugs are not the recipe for healthy relationships.
 
I never really keep friends or the same social circle for long. I have developed a tiny core of 3 people that I see every once in a while for but over time I have discovered friends are very few and far between. What I mean by this is that even though I have tiers of associates, anything from girl at the coffee shop, to coworkers, even my roommate they are all different tiers of association.

So basically coffee shop girl gets nothing from me no trust no anything, coworkers get trust and minor support, my roommate gets a larger amount of trust and daily support where as my friends I know what they want. Its not that they dont get nothing its that they dont need anything. They dont need me for anything i possess any of my skills or anything that makes me unique. We are friends because of an extremely long term situation that brought us really close.

Basically how it is is associates always want something, they may not mean it but they do. Coworkers want me to work, minor and major associates want me for my skill set and my friends will tell me to stfu i am not special and they dont want my shit (weed for example) my friends are the ones that i answer on the first ring, they are the only ones that call me, associates i can avoid and not care about.

We are all older so we barely go out and we are all sober sans weed which we all smoke in moderation usually at nights. We dont get together and smoke because we are past that part of our lives, i do sometimes go out for lunch or a drink with my friends but to me friend is more like if i called one of them and went "A i am really really sick i cant get on the bus can you leave your house drive the 10 miles to take me to my apartment" and she would but also would bring me soup.... associate would probably not answer the phone.
 
One thing about having spent most of my life as a balls-to-the-wall junkie is I know where my old crime partners and dope buds are. Almost all of them are dead. The last year that I used street drugs, which was actually 20 years ago, everyone I was close to died. Mostly overdoses, but a couple were suicides and one was murdered, although that was drug related as well. After I lost my best friend and my husband, I figured there was nothing left in that world for me. I went to long-term treatment, and then moved back to my home town. Funny thing--all the friends I had had there were gone too, probably for the same reason. Now I'm old enough that even my sober friends are dying, from natural causes. But it doesn't seem such a horror when people die at the end of a decent life as when they die way too young with a needle in their arm or under a bridge.
 
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