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Has anyone else here dated someone they couldn't replace?

A

A Blind Guy

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
193
Location
New Orleans, LA
I just broke up with the most amazing girl I've ever met.
Objectively, too. Not that subjective stupidity. I dated her because she was amazing, not the other way around.

I'm trying to move past her and ever other girl just... sucks, compared to her. They're all less intelligent, less attractive, or one and not the other.
I have standards that are so high that they're practically unreachable, now. I don't want to even give myself to most of the women I see, even the hot ones.

First world problems.
 
No. Hopefully one day.

So you just broke up with the most amazing irreplaceable girl you've ever met? What made you think that was a good idea.
 
A Blind Guy said:
I just broke up with the most amazing girl I've ever met.
Objectively, too. Not that subjective stupidity. I dated her because she was amazing, not the other way around.

I'm trying to move past her and ever other girl just... sucks, compared to her. They're all less intelligent, less attractive, or one and not the other.
I have standards that are so high that they're practically unreachable, now. I don't want to even give myself to most of the women I see, even the hot ones.

First world problems.
Click to expand...

OP that is your problem
it's fresh. you JUST ended the relationship. even if 'just' means a month or two, the wounds are still fresh. hell, it took me 7+ months to get over one of my ex's, and I dated someone for a few months afterwards even though I was still in love with him. takes time.

get the bitch off your mind and fuck some skanks. it'll help. I kid you not. also, make a list of all the things that you hated about her, even if you can't think of anything. write that you hate her stupid smile, her ugly nose, whatever. read that list every day and convince yourself that she wasn't actually a good match for you and that you can do a lot better. eventually this will become the truth.


worked for me anyways


GenericMind said:
So you just broke up with the most amazing irreplaceable girl you've ever met? What made you think that was a good idea.
Click to expand...
^
please share, OP
 
She moved to New York, from New Orleans where I live.

Long distance is a relationship killer. Yes, we have tried every possible relationship scenario. It still sucked.
She will be there for school for the next 4 years.

Trying to convince myself that she wasn't a good match for me would be like trying to convince myself that I no longer breathe oxygen and am capable of self propelled flight via my anus. It would be basically lying to myself.

And by "just broke up with her", I actually mean we've been trying to fix our long distance relationship for the last 3 months and it got to the point today where I can't even think about her without it hurting. So I excommunicated her from me. Removed her from my phone and facebook to get her off my mind, and prevent her from strangling it.
 
Yeah man, that sucks. There's not much you can do about it though.

As amazing as she may have been, there are plenty of other women in the world you would/will consider just as amazing if not more so. All you have to do is make an effort to get to know as many of them as you can until you find one. Don't let an experience like this shut you off to the world or you'll be miserable for a long time.
 
No, I wouldn't do anything for her.
But then again I can't do anything, because I am limited by my human condition.

There's a lot of stuff I would do for her, though.
 
i lost that person 2 years ago...just about killed me. time helps everything and its a lot better now but i still am unable to date as she is the only one i can give my heart to, or atleast it seems that way
 
for me... if i finish with a girl no matter how tough it was at the time i soon get over it! the way i see it, if its meant to be you'd still be together... i dont get upset if a girl cheats on me either no more.. turn it around. 'she aint worth it, if she cheats she aint a girl id wanna be with'... iv had some shit relationships and i guess im so de-sensatised now! it is awkward in a way though as im with a really nice lass now and she thinks sometimes im not that into her or dont care much because of how i am now...
 
mr.buffnstuff said:
for me... if i finish with a girl no matter how tough it was at the time i soon get over it! the way i see it, if its meant to be you'd still be together... i dont get upset if a girl cheats on me either no more.. turn it around. 'she aint worth it, if she cheats she aint a girl id wanna be with'... iv had some shit relationships and i guess im so de-sensatised now! it is awkward in a way though as im with a really nice lass now and she thinks sometimes im not that into her or dont care much because of how i am now...
Click to expand...

totally agree, if it was meant to be, you would still be together. For example she could of not left to new york, and take a school closer to home. What did she think, did she think you can have long distance marriage and long distance kids and etc.. lol.

My cousin married some girl who lived 200 miles away from him. At the end he moved to the city she lived. point is this relationship was not meant to be, you'll find some girl that was meant to be,
 
shahab6 said:
totally agree, if it was meant to be, you would still be together. For example she could of not left to new york, and take a school closer to home. What did she think, did she think you can have long distance marriage and long distance kids and etc.. lol.

My cousin married some girl who lived 200 miles away from him. At the end he moved to the city she lived. point is this relationship was not meant to be, you'll find some girl that was meant to be,
Click to expand...

Yeah, how about she totally passes up her $20,000 a year scholarship to NYU to stay in New Orleans and go to a much worse school.
What. That sounds fucking retarded.

All of your arguments about what is "meant to be" sound a lot like "God's Plan". Which isn't there, because there is no God.

We're on our own, gentleman.
 
A Blind Guy said:
Yeah, how about she totally passes up her $20,000 a year scholarship to NYU to stay in New Orleans and go to a much worse school.
What. That sounds fucking retarded.

All of your arguments about what is "meant to be" sound a lot like "God's Plan". Which isn't there, because there is no God.

We're on our own, gentleman.
Click to expand...

20k scholarship is not much considering how expensive new york is. Shes going for her BA right? she could of done her first 2 years at a local college then transfer to a university. A lot of people down here so that. That would of given her a extra 2 years to be with u. . OR you could of just visited her, flights are less than $400 to new york, since you'll stay with her, you don't need to pay for hotel. You do that once a or twice a year, and once or twice a year she flies down to you.Two -three weeks each time you guys vist, and you do this every 3-4 months. That means you can be with her a total of 2-3months out of the year,that's more than couples see each other in a year in the same city. and the rest you can skype, FB, text, phone, chat, etc. Until end of the four years, when she moves back. And its more fun this way, cause you'll actually be with her the whole 2-3 weeks.and you'll both be so happy when you see each other. Im guessing before you saw her once a week for a few hours.

OR

Are you in school now or wokring? You could of moved with her. And found a job there. If you moved with her, then you coul of just stayed with her. And end of the four year, you both could of either moved back or stayed there.
 
Last edited:
A Blind Guy said:
Yeah, how about she totally passes up her $20,000 a year scholarship to NYU to stay in New Orleans and go to a much worse school.
What. That sounds fucking retarded.

All of your arguments about what is "meant to be" sound a lot like "God's Plan". Which isn't there, because there is no God.

We're on our own, gentleman.
Click to expand...
It wasn't meant to be because you are literally not even near her! So it is really meant for her to be in NY.
Didn't you know before hand that she was leaving
 
D n A said:
OP that is your problem
it's fresh. you JUST ended the relationship. even if 'just' means a month or two, the wounds are still fresh. hell, it took me 7+ months to get over one of my ex's, and I dated someone for a few months afterwards even though I was still in love with him. takes time.

get the bitch off your mind and fuck some skanks. it'll help. I kid you not. also, make a list of all the things that you hated about her, even if you can't think of anything. write that you hate her stupid smile, her ugly nose, whatever. read that list every day and convince yourself that she wasn't actually a good match for you and that you can do a lot better. eventually this will become the truth.


worked for me anyways



^
please share, OP
Click to expand...


great advice,this worked for me
 
She ain't that good. Nobody is.

And if she was, you would move to NYC, no matter what the cost.

And if she thought of you in the same way, she wouldn't leave, no matter what the university. And if she doesn't feel the same way as you, then you are better off without her; uneven affection isn't healthy.

Time to stop reading poetry, and htfu.
 
OP, I'm guessing that this girl was your high school sweetheart.

I only know one person that is still dating the girl they were with at the end of high school, and he cheated on her so much. No matter how much the others thought they would always be together, it almost always doesn't work out. Sure, both people are really hurt for a while, but then they move on.
 
A Blind Guy said:
Long distance is a relationship killer. Yes, we have tried every possible relationship scenario. It still sucked.
She will be there for school for the next 4 years.
Click to expand...

Long distance IS a relationship killer. Have had (basically) two now. It gets tough when you can't in-person work things out because of the distance. Not to mention, lack of physical contact is tough.

I mean, it's a bit selfish to say you can replace someone because in all reality, you can't replace anyone. No matter how similar they seem to other people, people are always different.

I wish you the best of luck getting through your troubles.
 
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