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Hanging with a new friend

floatingaround

floatingaround

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 15, 2012
Messages
625
Location
NSW
Hello bluelight

so recently I've started speaking to this girl I met at this club a while ago.

We went for a drink on Sydney harbour the other Friday after we both finished work and had planned to go to this theme park(problem was we also ate some very strong MDMA crystal and ended up too fucked to actually be there, couldn't walk, she started being sick and throwing up and at that time i went to get her Water and came back, she said she thought i would have just run off because she started spewing..I told her Id never do that and she said I was a good guy )

anyway she suggested we go back to hers to watch movies and sober up which we ended up doing so we left the city soon after. Once we got back we sobered up a bit and she suggested to go back to the city and go clubbing, I was still just to out of it and declined it so we just watched movies in her lounge room the rest of the night and I also stayed there the night but nothing happend.

Now I asked her yesterday if she would be keen to do it again but just drink this time and actually hang around at the theme park and she said she was keen for sure.

This is the question I have. Before we hung out last Friday I knew she had a boyfriend or so she said anyway, I saw a MSG on her phone later that night when she was n texting saying " my boy". Now my mates seem to think us going out to Sydney is classed as " dating" but I see it as friends chilling getting to know each other as I believe she has a boyfriend, but if that was the case would she have still invited me back to hers to stay the night and then agree to do the same thing the next Friday?

I'd appreciate some people's perspectives on this especially if you've been in similar situations before. Is this friends chilling or is it dating? I've not asked her about this "guy" I've hardly heard anything about, but if she was with Someone I don't think she would have said yes or invited me over to stay in the first place.

I don't know I think to much, opinions and responses appreciated, thanks!
 
I have had a boyfriend while hanging out with a guy or inviting him over thinking we could just be friends. We smoked pot together, we would go concerts, hang out and watch movies. He obviously wanted more as time had passed and I declined any more advances other than friendship. I thought we could be friends but realized we couldn't. He wanted to date me and I was taken and happy but liked another guy/friend to blow off steam with other than my boyfriend. This friendship did not last, he was only interested in me for sex or dating. If you *think* she is dating someone else, she probably is...and you are going to be freindzoned most likely OR you might be a possible future date. I also was single for awhile and would hang out with all types of guys to see what I liked (no sex), guy shopping really. She may like this other guy but may consider you too but may not know you as well and might want to get to know you more. It's hard not knowing you or her personally but that's my personal opinion from what you have told me.
 
Tude said:
This could go either way...why not ask her?
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Exactly.
Or be more upfront with your motivates (aka ... a relationship vs a friendship). Be obvious. Ask her on a date. Or just ask her about the guy.

As a female with a boyfriend, I like to make friends who are both male and female. I will hang out with guys and girls, it doesn't really matter. But some guys often get the wrong idea. I try and bring up a story or something with "my boyfriend" so that the guy knows I have a boyfriend and, if he's just interested in sex or in a relationship, then he chooses to back off.
 
nooneanymore said:
If chicks are hanging out with you then they're interested, otherwise, they just ignore/avoid you. lol.
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I feel the same concept applies to men. If they're spending time with you, they've already thought about fucking you.

Or maybe that's just me.

:?
 
^Yeah I tend to think it applies way more to men than women honestly...maybe that's just me being stereotypical.

Anyway OP, it really could be either although since she has a boyfriend and hasn't tried to hid that fact from you I'd imagine she just wants you guys to be friends. I say don't assume anything too quickly and just see how it goes next time :)
 
Pagey said:
^Yeah I tend to think it applies way more to men than women honestly...maybe that's just me being stereotypical.
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Nope. As a male, I'd admit, if I'm hanging out with a chick solo, it's more than likely because I'm interested in her as more than a friend. Not always of course, exceptions exist to every rule of course, but I'd say 75% of the time I'm chilling with a chick to develop a relationship or just to fuck her.

But I feel women to this too in a sense, only on more sneaky manipulative levels. Women are very sneaky, they'll happily hang out and feel a guy out even if they are taken. Why? If a man did this, he'd be called a pig and probably get a cold shoulder when it comes to bed time.

I feel Men are open and honest for the most part, while Women are more secretive and evil-genius with it. I mean, it's already known women are on a whole nother level compared to men...we both just want the same thing though...to have sex, be left alone and relax. I mean, who doesn't want that, right? :)
 
nooneanymore said:
If chicks are hanging out with you then they're interested, otherwise, they just ignore/avoid you. lol.
Click to expand...
QFT

like they said above, i dont chill with girls in seclusion like you did just to "Hang out" Thats what you got your boys for

You got feelings, or are in the direction of
And she has some sort of attraction, or she wouldnt give you the time of day...ESPECIALLY if she has a boyfriend..she wouldnt risk that just to "Hang out"
 
Girls are fun to hang out just as friends. I think it is weird to only hang out alone with guy friends, and if you hang out alone with a girl its automatically considered non-platonic (like a date). Girls are fun and interesting people, so why not spend time with them even if there isn't any sexual interest
 
Thanks everyone. Appreciate the replays heaps. Ill ask her on Friday about her boyfriend. Ill keep this updated :)
 
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