Mental Health Hair Loss and the slipping away of beauty. How to deal with the depression and self-esteem issues?

[SuperPsych]

I am a relatively handsome 28 year old gay male. Ever since I was around 12 I preferred having long hair. It was always an important part of my identity, especially considering that I am a fairly feminine male, I prefer to look pretty vs handsome. However, over the last few years my hair has been falling out at a dramatic rate. I think the hair loss is due to the fact that I'd put my hair in a pony-tail for work and I'd make the pony-tail too tight. I've stopped putting it up but the hair loss hasn't stopped. I assume that my hair will be completely gone by the time that I'm 30. I've been going through periods of extreme anxiety and depression due to it and to be honest, there have been times where it has made me feel suicidal. I feel guilty for being so vain, but I also understand that its natural to feel this way. When I first noticed how severe the hair loss was and was getting rather suicidal, I ended up taking mushrooms using the McKenna method. 5 grams in a silent room. That trip saved my life and I'm doing a lot better, but the periods of depression can still be overwhelming. I can't stand looking in the mirror. As a resuly my drug use has been getting worse. I used to be heavily addicted to opiates, benzos, stimulants and dissociatives. I'm trying not to go down that road again but I've been finding myself going on heavy dissociative benders and dabbling with stimulants again. I dread the day where I no longer have hair.

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience, or words of advice or hope? I'm getting desperate

 

[G_Chem]

I can only give advice as the only male in my entire family that still has his hair. Exercise and diet are extremely important to maintain healthy hair, and will greatly help with the anxiety and depression as well. I can give you advice on this as this is the most important factor.

Besides that… Massage your scalp often, I like to hang my head upside down by leaning over, then massaging. Also use Rosemary and mint oils in your hair. The rosemary oil especially has an effect on the DHT in the scalp.

At the end of the day you gotta own you and your skin. I too used to be that guy with long flowy hair and was known for it. Today even though I have hair I shave it often (then let it grow out) simply because I’m me and people need to accept me. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments for my apparent bravery when it comes to shaving my head without a second thought.

Exercise doesn’t have to mean you become masculine either. People don’t realize the only way to get that sexy round ass is through squats not eating food. But then for much of your body use low weight high reps, incorporate a fair amount of cardio too to help the blood flow in your scalp.

-GC

 

[acklac7]

Have you looked into a finasteride prescription?

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

If the hair loss is sudden and dramatic you should get your thyroid hormones checked out as there might be an issue.

Otherwise you need something that will block DHT.

 

[lonelyDude]

I am a relatively handsome 28 year old gay male. Ever since I was around 12 I preferred having long hair. It was always an important part of my identity, especially considering that I am a fairly feminine male, I prefer to look pretty vs handsome. However, over the last few years my hair has been falling out at a dramatic rate. I think the hair loss is due to the fact that I'd put my hair in a pony-tail for work and I'd make the pony-tail too tight. I've stopped putting it up but the hair loss hasn't stopped. I assume that my hair will be completely gone by the time that I'm 30. I've been going through periods of extreme anxiety and depression due to it and to be honest, there have been times where it has made me feel suicidal. I feel guilty for being so vain, but I also understand that its natural to feel this way. When I first noticed how severe the hair loss was and was getting rather suicidal, I ended up taking mushrooms using the McKenna method. 5 grams in a silent room. That trip saved my life and I'm doing a lot better, but the periods of depression can still be overwhelming. I can't stand looking in the mirror. As a resuly my drug use has been getting worse. I used to be heavily addicted to opiates, benzos, stimulants and dissociatives. I'm trying not to go down that road again but I've been finding myself going on heavy dissociative benders and dabbling with stimulants again. I dread the day where I no longer have hair.

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience, or words of advice or hope? I'm getting desperate

I have a friend who went through hair loss and anxiety over it.

solution was to shave it all off and make it ritual.

I must say he is a good looking man with or with out hair I am sure you will be too

but yes think bandaid if its going to happen walk with pride and show no fear.

 

[SuperPsych]

I can only give advice as the only male in my entire family that still has his hair. Exercise and diet are extremely important to maintain healthy hair, and will greatly help with the anxiety and depression as well. I can give you advice on this as this is the most important factor.

Besides that… Massage your scalp often, I like to hang my head upside down by leaning over, then massaging. Also use Rosemary and mint oils in your hair. The rosemary oil especially has an effect on the DHT in the scalp.

At the end of the day you gotta own you and your skin. I too used to be that guy with long flowy hair and was known for it. Today even though I have hair I shave it often (then let it grow out) simply because I’m me and people need to accept me. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments for my apparent bravery when it comes to shaving my head without a second thought.

Exercise doesn’t have to mean you become masculine either. People don’t realize the only way to get that sexy round ass is through squats not eating food. But then for much of your body use low weight high reps, incorporate a fair amount of cardio too to help the blood flow in your scalp.

-GC

I'll have to give Rosemary oil a shot. I have begun exercising again, slowly but surely. It helps my mood and anxiety at the very least.

Have you looked into a finasteride prescription?

I did when this first started, but it really killed my sex drive. I'm looking into getting another finasteride prescription. I figure if it kills my sex drive then maybe I can supplement with Testosterone. My dad is going to bring me a few weeks worth of finasteride while I find a doctor.

If the hair loss is sudden and dramatic you should get your thyroid hormones checked out as there might be an issue.

Otherwise you need something that will block DHT.

I got everything checked when I first started losing my hair a few years back. The only thing that was abnormal was slightly low Iron

 

[PtahTek]

Aging is beauty to me.
We have to give up on mass marketing campaigns to sell billions in products that tout the fountain of youth they (products) cause more damage than they claim.
Take the fallen "dead" tree: Inspect it closely... there are so many life forms that are supported by this that the beauty and awe of it all is inspiring. At least in my experience ymmv.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I am a relatively handsome 28 year old gay male. Ever since I was around 12 I preferred having long hair. It was always an important part of my identity, especially considering that I am a fairly feminine male, I prefer to look pretty vs handsome. However, over the last few years my hair has been falling out at a dramatic rate. I think the hair loss is due to the fact that I'd put my hair in a pony-tail for work and I'd make the pony-tail too tight. I've stopped putting it up but the hair loss hasn't stopped. I assume that my hair will be completely gone by the time that I'm 30. I've been going through periods of extreme anxiety and depression due to it and to be honest, there have been times where it has made me feel suicidal. I feel guilty for being so vain, but I also understand that its natural to feel this way. When I first noticed how severe the hair loss was and was getting rather suicidal, I ended up taking mushrooms using the McKenna method. 5 grams in a silent room. That trip saved my life and I'm doing a lot better, but the periods of depression can still be overwhelming. I can't stand looking in the mirror. As a resuly my drug use has been getting worse. I used to be heavily addicted to opiates, benzos, stimulants and dissociatives. I'm trying not to go down that road again but I've been finding myself going on heavy dissociative benders and dabbling with stimulants again. I dread the day where I no longer have hair.

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience, or words of advice or hope? I'm getting desperate

Firstly, I really feel for you. Hair can be a huge part of our identity and self image, and so when it gets taken away, it's only natural that it is going to affect you.

I do not think the hair loss would have been caused by anything you have done in the past, so please don't add that extra pressure on yourself by blaming yourself for it. It's genetics honey!! You can't argue with genes.

Try the things that G_Chem suggested. At best you may be able to avoid further hair loss for longer, but at worst you'll at least be giving yourself a lovely relaxing head massage every day. Who doesn't need that in their life

If (IF!) your hair was to fall out, how do you feel about wigs?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I have a friend who went through hair loss and anxiety over it.

solution was to shave it all off and make it ritual.

I must say he is a good looking man with or with out hair I am sure you will be too

but yes think bandaid if its going to happen walk with pride and show no fear.

I started balding in my mid 20s, by the time I was 29 I just accepted fate and started shaving my head.

Once I did, I realized that I actually look even better bald. It accentuates my beard and other positive facial featues. I realized that all my worrying was for nothing.

I can see how it may be harder for someone with long hair, I always hated my hair and kept it short anyways.

 

[SuperPsych]

Firstly, I really feel for you. Hair can be a huge part of our identity and self image, and so when it gets taken away, it's only natural that it is going to affect you.

I do not think the hair loss would have been caused by anything you have done in the past, so please don't add that extra pressure on yourself by blaming yourself for it. It's genetics honey!! You can't argue with genes.

Try the things that G_Chem suggested. At best you may be able to avoid further hair loss for longer, but at worst you'll at least be giving yourself a lovely relaxing head massage every day. Who doesn't need that in their life

If (IF!) your hair was to fall out, how do you feel about wigs?

If my hair falls out then I am open to wigs. I do enjoy crossdressing, so I figure worst case scenario it pushes me towards doing drag with more gusto. I'd really rather not rely on wigs but I realize that it may become my reality. If my hair falls out completely then I will definitely be getting a wig collection. I appreciate the kind words though I've been getting hard on myself for triggering the hair loss which obviously isnt good for my mental health. It does no good focusing on "what if's". You're right, it is genetics, 2 out of 3 of my uncles on my moms side are bald so it was likely to happen anyways.

I started balding in my mid 20s, by the time I was 29 I just accepted fate and started shaving my head.

Once I did, I realized that I actually look even better bald. It accentuates my beard and other positive facial featues. I realized that all my worrying was for nothing.

I can see how it may be harder for someone with long hair, I always hated my hair and kept it short anyways.

I can always fall back on that, but I prefer not to have facial hair. I prefer a more feminine look and a beard would obviously go against that.

I know that I will some how find acceptance of myself but it is really damned difficult for the moment if I'm being honest.

 

[PtahTek]

I started balding in my mid 20s,

me too
but from a guys perspective just shave it all off since the cut my locks metro dade back inda day.
but... i do know how important it is to combat aging. i am around people that have me as their emergency contact. 1 fell at the door and it took about an hour to get her back to her couch my friend .
i do have energy left and if i can i will. just
off topic my bad it not my perspective that really matters.
but again i have been around the broken for the longest. cancer (no or some hair) all kinds fuckin poising them imo but there i go again.
what can we really do about anything? my electric cutter is all i need. well... electricity of course but do have that generator in storage might be time to start that up for a couple days with tent. hmmmm maybe one day gotta work.
love

 

[lonelyDude]

We rot we die your long term happyness depends
On accepting this.

I find those who accept it earlier have less problems later

 

[lonelyDude]

Hair has nothing to do with femaninity

As can be seen here

Top 15 Celebrities Who Were Hot Even With a Bald Head

Celebs with Bald Head - Here are top 15 female celebrities who were hot even with a bald or semi-bald head. The women who rock a shaved head look amazing.

www.wonderslist.com

Attitude is everything

Power self granted even though dimunitive strength.

In the eye of the beholder as they say.

 

[PtahTek]

ftr i would legally marry a bald woman no shit.
specially if there were a chance at a bam, jr or baby girl.
just me
not a creep post but a woman with no hair has always caught my attention

 

[Foreigner]

I understand your anxiety. The gay world is shallow and balding is a sign of old age to many. But I can tell you that two of my long term boyfriends were bald when I met them and I was physically attracted to them both. They were such great people.

Your shift from long hair to no hair is dramatic and I think that's playing a huge role in this for you. However, 20% of men lose their hair at some point so this is a natural process.

Putting your hair in a tight ponytail has nothing to do with male pattern baldness. It's hormone mediated and genetic. You can take DHT inhibitors and topical treatments, but it's just delaying the inevitable. DHT is what gives men their drive, energy, natural muscularity, and sense of power. A lot of guys who take DHT blockers regret it. And then there is finasteride syndrome, which includes problems like numb penis, erectile dysfunction, etc. This is further evidence that balding is natural, because when you try to block it, it has negative impacts.

There's also hair transplants. Expensive and they don't always work, but they'll transfer hair that isn't DHT sensitive to the bald areas.

It's not vain to be upset about this. Balding is disfiguring. It affects your sense of identity. But who you truly are isn't in your hair. I would seek a therapist to help you cope. Being suicidal and turning to drugs over this is not normal. It's just hair. You're not going to be rejected by the world and you will still be successful in life. Anyone who truly cares about you will accept you hair or no hair.

 

[AbbeyLee]

I am a relatively handsome 28 year old gay male. Ever since I was around 12 I preferred having long hair. It was always an important part of my identity, especially considering that I am a fairly feminine male, I prefer to look pretty vs handsome. However, over the last few years my hair has been falling out at a dramatic rate. I think the hair loss is due to the fact that I'd put my hair in a pony-tail for work and I'd make the pony-tail too tight. I've stopped putting it up but the hair loss hasn't stopped. I assume that my hair will be completely gone by the time that I'm 30. I've been going through periods of extreme anxiety and depression due to it and to be honest, there have been times where it has made me feel suicidal. I feel guilty for being so vain, but I also understand that its natural to feel this way. When I first noticed how severe the hair loss was and was getting rather suicidal, I ended up taking mushrooms using the McKenna method. 5 grams in a silent room. That trip saved my life and I'm doing a lot better, but the periods of depression can still be overwhelming. I can't stand looking in the mirror. As a resuly my drug use has been getting worse. I used to be heavily addicted to opiates, benzos, stimulants and dissociatives. I'm trying not to go down that road again but I've been finding myself going on heavy dissociative benders and dabbling with stimulants again. I dread the day where I no longer have hair.

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience, or words of advice or hope? I'm getting desperate

Shave it all off!! Many guys rock that look. I was thinking Bruce Willis but you like to be pretty vs handsome. I'm sure there's a way to pull off both.. It's all about style

 

[AbbeyLee]

I am a relatively handsome 28 year old gay male. Ever since I was around 12 I preferred having long hair. It was always an important part of my identity, especially considering that I am a fairly feminine male, I prefer to look pretty vs handsome. However, over the last few years my hair has been falling out at a dramatic rate. I think the hair loss is due to the fact that I'd put my hair in a pony-tail for work and I'd make the pony-tail too tight. I've stopped putting it up but the hair loss hasn't stopped. I assume that my hair will be completely gone by the time that I'm 30. I've been going through periods of extreme anxiety and depression due to it and to be honest, there have been times where it has made me feel suicidal. I feel guilty for being so vain, but I also understand that its natural to feel this way. When I first noticed how severe the hair loss was and was getting rather suicidal, I ended up taking mushrooms using the McKenna method. 5 grams in a silent room. That trip saved my life and I'm doing a lot better, but the periods of depression can still be overwhelming. I can't stand looking in the mirror. As a resuly my drug use has been getting worse. I used to be heavily addicted to opiates, benzos, stimulants and dissociatives. I'm trying not to go down that road again but I've been finding myself going on heavy dissociative benders and dabbling with stimulants again. I dread the day where I no longer have hair.

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience, or words of advice or hope? I'm getting desperate

Do you have facial hair or go clean shaven?

 

[SuperPsych]

I understand your anxiety. The gay world is shallow and balding is a sign of old age to many. But I can tell you that two of my long term boyfriends were bald when I met them and I was physically attracted to them both. They were such great people.

Your shift from long hair to no hair is dramatic and I think that's playing a huge role in this for you. However, 20% of men lose their hair at some point so this is a natural process.

Putting your hair in a tight ponytail has nothing to do with male pattern baldness. It's hormone mediated and genetic. You can take DHT inhibitors and topical treatments, but it's just delaying the inevitable. DHT is what gives men their drive, energy, natural muscularity, and sense of power. A lot of guys who take DHT blockers regret it. And then there is finasteride syndrome, which includes problems like numb penis, erectile dysfunction, etc. This is further evidence that balding is natural, because when you try to block it, it has negative impacts.

There's also hair transplants. Expensive and they don't always work, but they'll transfer hair that isn't DHT sensitive to the bald areas.

It's not vain to be upset about this. Balding is disfiguring. It affects your sense of identity. But who you truly are isn't in your hair. I would seek a therapist to help you cope. Being suicidal and turning to drugs over this is not normal. It's just hair. You're not going to be rejected by the world and you will still be successful in life. Anyone who truly cares about you will accept you hair or no hair.

I'm still torn on trying finasteride. When I gave it a go a 2 years back it did negatively effect my sex drive. I'm considering doing testosterone treatment along with the finasteride to help keep my sex drive. Lastt time I got my testosterone levels checked they were pretty low for a guy my age. Around 300ng

Do you have facial hair or go clean shaven?

I do not have facial hair. I prefer to be clean shaven. I can hardly grow facial hair at 28 years of age

 

[AbbeyLee]

I do not have facial hair. I prefer to be clean shaven. I can hardly grow facial hair at 28 years of age

Huh? Guys generally start growing facial hair during puberty and when they go bald they keep the facial hair.

 

[G_Chem]

Not everyone grows much facial hair. Especially with all the estrogen mimicking pollutants in our environment.

-GC