TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
Perhaps one of the most common questions asked in Support and NMI, and yet they already have the answers in front of them. If they can't look in the 'Greenlighter Guide' or UTFSE, I figure we ought to make them take the 'Officially Unofficial Bluelighter Standardized Exam." Yes, the BS Exam is full of information only a true bluelighter might know - so if you want to be one, you better study hard.
So, after seeing this question arise repeatedly in SUPPORT and I'm sure it keeps recurring in New Member Introductions, I figured "why not have some fun with this?" I'm throwing this into the Lounge, knowing what kind of treatment it will get there, but what would you add to the 'Bluelighter Test' that had to be passed before graduation from greeniedom?
We could even break it down into sections, like:
K is for Kande (Basic Knowledge)
1) Correctly spell 'ecstasy.' Now, correctly spell the proper name for 'MDMA.'
2) What are the signs of a tweaker, and what's the quickest way to get them out of your home without loaning them money?
I'd kinda like to know this one
3) The concept of 'Free Speech' on Bluelight means what, exactly?
Everyone is free to make fun of the way you speak, including assraping a thread you post with a silly question.
4) PLUR means what, exactly?
Your cat has a lisp
5) As a greenlighter, when attending a BL meetup, what is the proper way to introduce yourself?
Trick question. You're not invited.
6) What musical dj/band/performer gives the best live experience, why do you think so, and how can you get backstage/afterparty tickets to chill with them?
Anyone mentioning RITM or 'The Eye' is auto-bahn-ed
Get 'R Done (the MacGyver section)
1) Give us 5 ways to smoke weed NOT using a joint, a standard pipe, or a standard bong (improvised bongs and pipes are what we're after). Bonus points for photo's of your completed projects.
2) Given a box of Swedish whippets/nangs, what is the worst way to remove the plastic safety caps and who has done this?
Griff, wanna offer insight on that one?
3) Upload an image and put your caption in alternating caps with multicolored text to prove your ability to post. Once that is complete, you must swear by all that is holy you will never, EVER, do anything like that again.
4) When attending a BL meetup, which is more difficult - ensuring someone stays sober and can make airport runs for those that have early flights out or just trying to get somebody to make a decision on where to go for dinner?
5) The quickest way to get sexual favors from another site member is:
a) Show them your Staff Member ID card (also good for discounts at local Midget Porn stores)
b) K-rape and/or G-rape and/or Roofies
c) Stumble in while their showering and pretend you're lost
d) Snuggle up in an e-puddle and stay there alllll niiiggggghhttttt looooonnnnngggg
e) Other - Please explain with details on what you use, how you get it, and what smooth words you utter
**Please note, simply offering them coke is not a valid answer, that works on anyone at anytime.
6) The maximum number of female bluelighters that can occupy any single bed is how many?
Trick question. There is no limit. But it's always fun to try and set the record.
K is never for Kande (Advanced Knowledge)
1) Name five different grades/types of weed, providing samples to a staff moderator or admin, and explain the differences between them. (Do not expect the samples to be returned).
2) As a bluelighter, when attending a BL meetup, what is the proper way to introduce yourself?
Trick question. By the time you make it to the meetup, everybody knows you already
3) Where do you go for information on prescriptions pills?
Anyone responding with the "OD Forum" is auto-bahn-ed.
4) Name the top three items found in any hotel room which can be used for cutting and/or snorting powdery substances.
5) If two bluelighters leave Ohio at 5PM on Friday driving to a meetup, and another one is flying in from Atlanta leaving at 7PM, while one more is already living in the town for the meetup - who gets there first, and who gets home last?
The one who lives there is there first (duh) and the Atlanta person is second because other than getting on a plane there is nothing to screw up. The two from Ohio may or may not make it there at all - it depends on how much they smoke and if paranoia keeps them from asking cops for directions. For going home, the Atlanta person again can't really screw up a flight. The local person is probably staying at a friends for a few more days anyways since they never told their parents they were going out on Friday to begin with. The Ohio couple, if they made it to the meetup, should never get home because nobody willingly goes back to Ohio. Escape while you can.
Anyone who takes this too seriously and thinks we really ought to change the qualifications for becoming a bluelighter is more than welcome to read this thread. The rest of you are free to contribute your own suggested questions or tasks.
So, after seeing this question arise repeatedly in SUPPORT and I'm sure it keeps recurring in New Member Introductions, I figured "why not have some fun with this?" I'm throwing this into the Lounge, knowing what kind of treatment it will get there, but what would you add to the 'Bluelighter Test' that had to be passed before graduation from greeniedom?
We could even break it down into sections, like:
K is for Kande (Basic Knowledge)
1) Correctly spell 'ecstasy.' Now, correctly spell the proper name for 'MDMA.'
2) What are the signs of a tweaker, and what's the quickest way to get them out of your home without loaning them money?
I'd kinda like to know this one
3) The concept of 'Free Speech' on Bluelight means what, exactly?
Everyone is free to make fun of the way you speak, including assraping a thread you post with a silly question.
4) PLUR means what, exactly?
Your cat has a lisp
5) As a greenlighter, when attending a BL meetup, what is the proper way to introduce yourself?
Trick question. You're not invited.
6) What musical dj/band/performer gives the best live experience, why do you think so, and how can you get backstage/afterparty tickets to chill with them?
Anyone mentioning RITM or 'The Eye' is auto-bahn-ed
Get 'R Done (the MacGyver section)
1) Give us 5 ways to smoke weed NOT using a joint, a standard pipe, or a standard bong (improvised bongs and pipes are what we're after). Bonus points for photo's of your completed projects.
2) Given a box of Swedish whippets/nangs, what is the worst way to remove the plastic safety caps and who has done this?
Griff, wanna offer insight on that one?
3) Upload an image and put your caption in alternating caps with multicolored text to prove your ability to post. Once that is complete, you must swear by all that is holy you will never, EVER, do anything like that again.
4) When attending a BL meetup, which is more difficult - ensuring someone stays sober and can make airport runs for those that have early flights out or just trying to get somebody to make a decision on where to go for dinner?
5) The quickest way to get sexual favors from another site member is:
a) Show them your Staff Member ID card (also good for discounts at local Midget Porn stores)
b) K-rape and/or G-rape and/or Roofies
c) Stumble in while their showering and pretend you're lost
d) Snuggle up in an e-puddle and stay there alllll niiiggggghhttttt looooonnnnngggg
e) Other - Please explain with details on what you use, how you get it, and what smooth words you utter
**Please note, simply offering them coke is not a valid answer, that works on anyone at anytime.
6) The maximum number of female bluelighters that can occupy any single bed is how many?
Trick question. There is no limit. But it's always fun to try and set the record.
K is never for Kande (Advanced Knowledge)
1) Name five different grades/types of weed, providing samples to a staff moderator or admin, and explain the differences between them. (Do not expect the samples to be returned).
2) As a bluelighter, when attending a BL meetup, what is the proper way to introduce yourself?
Trick question. By the time you make it to the meetup, everybody knows you already
3) Where do you go for information on prescriptions pills?
Anyone responding with the "OD Forum" is auto-bahn-ed.
4) Name the top three items found in any hotel room which can be used for cutting and/or snorting powdery substances.
5) If two bluelighters leave Ohio at 5PM on Friday driving to a meetup, and another one is flying in from Atlanta leaving at 7PM, while one more is already living in the town for the meetup - who gets there first, and who gets home last?
The one who lives there is there first (duh) and the Atlanta person is second because other than getting on a plane there is nothing to screw up. The two from Ohio may or may not make it there at all - it depends on how much they smoke and if paranoia keeps them from asking cops for directions. For going home, the Atlanta person again can't really screw up a flight. The local person is probably staying at a friends for a few more days anyways since they never told their parents they were going out on Friday to begin with. The Ohio couple, if they made it to the meetup, should never get home because nobody willingly goes back to Ohio. Escape while you can.
Anyone who takes this too seriously and thinks we really ought to change the qualifications for becoming a bluelighter is more than welcome to read this thread. The rest of you are free to contribute your own suggested questions or tasks.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
