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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Govt bans being in an altered state of mind (Keep calm and carry on gettin fucked)

RLP

RLP

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/apr/83/illegal-altered-state-of-mind

The Guardian said:
Coalition bans altered states of mind

The 'Stay Low' bill, which will make it illegal for people to use anything of any sort to change their state of mind, gained Royal ascent today and is now law.

The law will allow police officers to detain any persons suspected of being intoxicated, regardless of whether the substance suspected is illegal or whether the person is causing disturbance, and has been specifically tailored to tackle the legal high market which has concerned parents and been directly attributed to a woman's runny nose in Rotherham.

Said Francis Maude "Due to mounting concern that our current leglislative process is not stopping the conveyor belt of legal highs which have been steadily released to the UK public over the past few years, we have decided to take these measures. This is vital for public safety. We estimate the number of runny-noses to fall by 50% in the next eight years."

The very first arrests, which saw the entire population of Swansea detained for being "obviously not all there," was completed successfully by the Free Syrian Army. Custodial sentences could range from a light tickling to 9 hour re-education process presented by a Scouser.

Economic output in Swansea has soared since the arrests and Mr Maude claimed that "given enough time, the new legislation has the potential to solve the Greek financial crisis. Someone pass me a beer. Yeaahh."
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RLP, does this article actually exist? It seems to have been taken down and I can't find anything through google or Guardian search about this.

Edit: I really should have actually read the quote. Nice article RLP ;)
 
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"directly attributed to a woman's runny nose" it is an attempt at satire. No idea what it was doing on the guardian site lol
 
Come people I know its early but clearly RLP is 'avin what is know as a "tin barf" ;)
 
Gave me a laugh this morning, I must say. Though the thread title actually seemed plausible for a few horrible seconds before I read the post.

Nice one, RLP. :)
 
I can tell it's a joke, but I don't really think it's totally beyond the bounds of what they'd consider (probably ever so slightly more likely to be a Labour bill than a Conservative one). Sometimes the best humour is only slightly removed from the truth.

On the other hand, legalisation would be a great addition to an un-re-electable outgoing government's "scorched earth" tactics. If it didn't work, it would make things hard for their replacements; if it did work, it would be remembered as the first good thing they did.
 
muttonchops said:
PHEW, panic over. Very funny Mr Morris.

Thought we were going donn a horrifying US style route then... "I'm charging you with internal possession of fully digested drugs"
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"If you'd like to spew into the evidence bag sir"
 
Equilibrium

Prozium - The great nepenthe. Opiate of our masses. Glue of our great society. Salve and salvation, it has delivered us from pathos, from sorrow, the deepest chasms of melancholy and hate. With it, we anesthetize grief, annihilate jealousy, obliterate rage. Those sister impulses towards joy, love, and elation are anesthetized in stride, we accept as fair sacrifice. For we embrace Prozium in its unifying fullness and all that it has done to make us great.

53s8ch.jpg


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equilibrium_(film)
 
The very first arrests, which saw the entire population of Swansea detained for being "obviously not all there,"
Click to expand...

Hahaha! Satire only works when there's an element of truth in it!

Economic output in Swansea has soared
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Which is why you blew it here.

=D

(Class bit of prose Mr RLP)
 
fastandbulbous said:
You've got to laugh or else you'd cry =D

Seems such a horribly plausable piece of legislation though, doesn't it!
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Sometime around 1999-2000, Sweden attempted what was known as the "anti-euphoria" law, banning all drugs that produced euphoric effects. It never passed as it was deemed to be unworkable.

In 2011, a law was suggested in Austria that would make all substances illegal that produced
a "psychoactive reaction" a stimulation or damping of the motoric functions, mental activity, behaviour, perception or mood, cause by the application of a New Psychoactive Substance in or on the human body
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Not sure what happened to that, but I hope it was also dismissed as impractical. Sobering though.
 
Sometime around 1999-2000, Sweden attempted what was known as the "anti-euphoria" law, banning all drugs that produced euphoric effects. It never passed as it was deemed to be unworkable.
Click to expand...

WTF lol, the "Your not allowed to ever be happy law"
 
Natural happiness ONLY.

You gotta make your own euphoria, kiddos.
 
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