Goodbye meth! ? Scared again.

[Joy3213]

I've proven time and time again, I just can't use meth like normal people. Even when I try to stick to eating and sleeping which is obviously hard. It destroys my life. I can't function without it. All the happiness is sucked from me. I think of my 5 year old, and I feel immense shame. I don't want to do drugs with her there so when im sober with her I am hardly a shell of a person. I have my last line. Then it's goodbye again. This week been using the past 9 days and it was more than enough to realize I can't touch this stuff. It's crazy when I read through people functioning on it, more power to you. I wish. But I can't and I'm scared to go through the depression of coming down and the feelings of not being able to lift my body out of bed. Hope this time I stay away for good. Although I still love reading all the threads on here. Think I just need to accept that I'm going to go through some hell for a little and get back to the help I had.

 

[herbavore]

I'm not sure that you don't fit the "normal people" category more than those who can use it occasionally and put it down--if by normal we are talking in numbers. I think one of the most important lessons a parent can model is how to have a healthy relationship with him or herself. That includes the relationship to food, to love-relationships, to mind altering substances, to stress, boredom etc. It doesn't mean that as parents we have to be instantly perfect but since this adult process is what your kid is also going to grow into, having a parent that is always honest and aware of their own weak spots and how to address them offers the child a really good model for growing into adulthood and gaining control of their own lives.

Sounds like you have arrived at some wisdom about yourself and now comes the hard part of integrating that into your habits. Do you have friends that enjoy life sober? If you are surrounded by people using it will be harder for you to resist the "just this one more time" trap.