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Gold digger

A

andyclark1225

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 30, 2011
Messages
137
Location
London
Hi folks,

I need some advice from people with clear heads, unlike mine.

I've been friends this girl now for over a year and since about May I feel she's been using me for my money. Every conversation either sparks up with money or it comes at the end of the conversation. Everything in between is all good, she's very nice just like friends are meant to talk apart from she always gets something out of me. I don't know what to do because every time we argue about it, it always ends without a conclusion and I feel like it's partly my fault. I just want her to treat me like the rest of her friends without using me for my money.

So what should I do? Should I get some space from her and try and resume something better in the future?

Many thanks in advance

Andy
 
You're just friends with her, right? So what do you do ... buy her lots of things? Always pay for her? I'm kind of confused about what exactly is going on.

If she's just using you, then yes, your best option would be to stop hanging out with her and talking to her as much. And not give her money!
 
llama112 said:
You're just friends with her, right? So what do you do ... buy her lots of things? Always pay for her? I'm kind of confused about what exactly is going on.

If she's just using you, then yes, your best option would be to stop hanging out with her and talking to her as much. And not give her money!
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Yeah I guess we're just friends...there is some chemistry between us but nothing's happened yet. Yeah I buy her things, help her out etc but I think you're right because she's getting too comfortable
 
If your intuition is telling you that she's a gold digger, chances are she's a gold digger. It's really odd how she constantly brings up money. I know girls like that. And yes, you guessed it, they are gold diggers. I personally hate women who can't be independent, and would rather leech off of a man, but um maybe she is legit? If she's not going to be your girlfriend though, why would you pay for her so much anyway? A "true" friend wouldn't expect or accept that. You're too nice of a guy, stop it. Is she like super hot or something? Stop it lol.
 
seriously why would u pay for your friend? Chances are shes using you for money. Why would she even ask for money. A true friend will never for money or anything. Find new friends.
 
Yeah definitely beware. Even the girls I've dated who would often get free drinks, meals, etc... off of me never brought up money in conversation. In fact post break up they always insist on paying their end of things. Its cool if friends treat each other to things, but usually if not always its reciprocal. She definitely sounds like a user to me (from the limited information). Be careful with this one, if you give a mouse a cookie...

Also in my experience, girls tend to lose respect for a guy when they know they can get anything from him.
 
Thanks for the replies, her background is she comes from a rich family but her parents don't give her much money (she's at uni so poor uni student).
 
wizekrak said:
Yeah definitely beware. Even the girls I've dated who would often get free drinks, meals, etc... off of me never brought up money in conversation. In fact post break up they always insist on paying their end of things. Its cool if friends treat each other to things, but usually if not always its reciprocal. She definitely sounds like a user to me (from the limited information). Be careful with this one, if you give a mouse a cookie...

Also in my experience, girls tend to lose respect for a guy when they know they can get anything from him.
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That last bit about losing respect for a guy really sunk in, thanks that's really changed my mind quite a bit
 
I've never purchased anything for my friends, and I don't let them purchase things for me. The only exceptions would be my sister or my boyfriend. That being said, my sister (usually) pays me back. My boyfriend and I even things out, whoever is making more money at the time pays more, like he used to pay for more things, but now that he's in school and I'm working, I pay for more. But that's about it. I've never really asked my friends for money or given any friends money. That's just .... yeah not happening.

Tell her that if she wants something, she can get it herself, or find a job and pay for things, whatever. Yes some people have terrible financial situations. But unless she is literally starving, I wouldn't be giving her much.
 
massive user. mummy and daddy have loads of cash so what are you playing at? she can work for money like everyone else even if this is not what she is used to.

families like that stay rich by hoarding their cash, now some poor fool has come and is giving money to their daughter instead of them. you've found a cuckoo
 
This woman isn't your friend. If you have any doubt about that, make it a point not to give her or spend another dime on her and see how long she sticks around.
 
Don't hang around her, don't contact her, ignore her if she tries to contact you. Are you that blind that you cannot see she is using you? Of course she is going to be nice to you if you always give her something. Your balls are nonexistent, find them.
 
Tell her she better start fucking you or the cash flow stops. If she won't fuck you then, she is never going to fuck you. And only make that statement if you can handle dating a gold digger.

Some of the happiest marriages I know of are rooted in gold digging (success is an attractive quality, right?), so if that is what you want, go for it. I prefer real love, and would never date a gold digger, but I do not have anything against gold digging women provided they are open and honest about their intentions, and provide a return on your investment. I hate gold digging bitches who pretend not to be gold diggers and lead a guy along into bankruptcy, leaving not only a broken heart behind but an empty wallet when they go.

You need to be clear as fuck with women like that. They aren't good, but if you like sex and prefer to not feel too committed to a woman, it works. Just make sure you have a foolproof prenup if you get married one day, which sounds doubtful coming out of somebody like you. You don't seem like the type to get involved in that, so I would possibly recommend trying it out for a bit then leaving her ass in a ditch (metaphorically speaking, holy shit that sentence can come across really fucked up, but instead of changing it I would rather type out this little addendum).
 
From now on, don't do anything you don't want to do. Just don't do it. Whatever "it" is. If you want to say "no," then politely but firmly say no and stick to it. You need remedial "no" training but unless you have a good friend who can coach you on this, you'll have to figure it out for yourself. Stop feeling obligated to other people, and do what you want. It will feel VERY good, and - a bonus - women find this attitude very attractive.
 
Thank you so much for your replies people, don't worry I'm not offended if you call me a pussy whipped bitch etc because tbh I have been. I'm snapping out of it fast thanks to all the advice, I think I'm gonna go and save my money that I'm NOT going to spend on her and buy myself a brand new motorbike (think I deserve it after all this bullshit!) :)
 
andyclark1225 said:
Thank you so much for your replies people, don't worry I'm not offended if you call me a pussy whipped bitch etc because tbh I have been. I'm snapping out of it fast thanks to all the advice, I think I'm gonna go and save my money that I'm NOT going to spend on her and buy myself a brand new motorbike (think I deserve it after all this bullshit!) :)
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Meh, I doubt anyone considers you a pussy. You knew something was up. Some girls are manipulative, and the need for pussy is overwhelming for a guy. Hence, a great movie quote I'm about to steal: You can lose a lot of money chasing pussy but you will never lose any pussy chasing money.
 
3 said:
Meh, I doubt anyone considers you a pussy. You knew something was up. Some girls are manipulative, and the need for pussy is overwhelming for a guy. Hence, a great movie quote I'm about to steal: You can lose a lot of money chasing pussy but you will never lose any pussy chasing money.
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This is true and i love the quote lol
 
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