Were they by any chance "gamma goblins"? Would explain a thing or two.
I'm also on this bus. This is why I sometimes go about my posting any exorbitant use or doses. Because I'm not trying to shock and I'm not trying to gain points. I know it doesn't look cool. I just think the BL narrative can get a bit rigid (used to be much worse), especially when people deny your personal experience based on parts of that accumulated cultural "BL knowledge" we all gradually recieve and come to know.
It's like earlier in the year when I had MDMA two days in a row and just short of a G of MDA the remaining five.
People I know ask, "did it even do anything?" and I say "you're fucking right it did!" - let me tell you about day 7 when my jaw had an argument with me and brought in gurn battle contestants.
And I felt fucking great afterwards. Perhaps a general anomaly, but I think I needed it.
That said, my benzo tolerance is sadly and surely forever.
I am, on paper and situationally, all ways, in identical benzo ditch.
My usage is wild. Only Etiz, pure powder, has been 12-25 mg's daily for long while now, but kava too double average kava drinker, kava + benzos = 2 x effect, each IME.
Kava increases blood plasma, delays clearance.
It's literally double, to me. 1 mg Etiz, loaded with Kavalactones is actually more noticeable than 2.5 without.
Too many times I accidentally overdosed on Etiz, maybe 35 mg's or more, uneven dissolution (olive oil as I'm allergic to PG), on top of that day's doses already.
Messy situations. 8 hour sleepwalking/talking blackouts, needing minding, last time I broke my back 8 weeks ago plus severe internal injury/shock, SOMEHOW survived, still healing- I still tripped 3 times first 14 days following the injury, 3 days first one on 1000 mics, then 800, 1200.
It passed a few days of orherwise torture, became immune to elements- pain etc.
But on paper, say 35 mg's, so 400 mg's Diazepam eqiv effectively, practically doubled by kava.
That's a truly insane dose of benzos right? Effectively over 650 mg's Diazepam with Kava potentiation.
It can't happen again. Last one. I've sorted it now.
But
@Tranced I actually completely hear and feel you, on every line and image, but then on resignation to lifelong benzos.
First though- that isn't probably, really such a terrible thing. Should it come to pass.
But I have discovered how extraordinarily powerful the mind and consciousness is.
If we have time to live, society pans on some more, you may be surprised what's achievable in near time.
I felt EXACTLY like that.
I'm still using lots benzo. But I'm not worried about it anymore. Some extraordinary things are suddenly truly happening- related to Nano! Rifing. Age reversal. Constitutional healing, injury repair, scars vanishing, in stages.
I just need more time. In theory, by math on this science and it's principles pertaining to the imposed artificial mortal condition and it's reversal, any addiction would be nullified entirely, like a scab dropping off.
Anybody could do this. It takes time though. 12 brutal months so far most intense herxeimer ever, suddenly coming true, but ways to go. Just need time.
Only 100 mics last Monday, 500 10 days prior, 3 1000 trips preceding, down from 3-5 mg's weekly rate.
