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Girlfriend wants me to quit using bluelight

Changa707

Changa707

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
162
Location
Lemuria
Hey everyone, I have been in a relationship with a beautiful woman for some months now and she slowly began to learn about my drug use. When we met she knew I smoked cannabis regularly, and used drugs on occasion...but she was unaware of how much I researched drugs and used forums like bluelight. We are world's apart in the sense of drugs...as she is sober and inexperienced with any drug (good thing), but I have a history of use and am currently coming to terms with myself with this website.

I think she feels isolated and worried because she doesn't know who to talk to (other than me, which probably scares her even more)...because none of her friends/family is experienced with these things. She tried signing up on bluelight to ask questions but gave up and decided to tell me about her feelings, and wanted to know all about the drugs I used.

Until she met me she was unaware of the abuse of pharmaceuticals, and only knew about drugs like cannabis and cocaine...which she can relate to in some shape or form. But for her, it is a new phenomena that people abuse pills..and she is rightfully worried that our relationship will deteriorate if I continue using pills.

I would gladly give up pills and drugs for her, but I don't know how I feel about not using bluelight anymore...because I think it can be very helpful to the recovering process. On the other hand, bluelight is very addictive to me...and I can understand that she doesn't want me spending so much time on any internet forum, especially when i'm typing up some article right in front of her.

FYI - I have not been using pharms on a daily basis up until very recently, for some reason started using more during the relationship...which is strange, I thought I would be less interested in drugs (but maybe it's the years of experimenting that has caught up to me).

Anyways, I decided i'm going to quit ASAP...and want to be drug free by the end of the week. It's gonna be easy to quit the pills, but harder for me to quit the cannabis because I have been smoking weed daily for years, along with tobacco.

How would you guys/girls go about limiting your bluelight use? I am aware that to some extent this forum increases my cravings for drugs, but also helps me keep my mind of using drugs...and become more occupied with writing stuff on the forum.

Should I just stop visiting the site for a while? I need to focus on school and my relationship...so maybe it is best that I just take a break from bluelight to keep my mind off drugs.
 
^ lol

if you want to quit using bluelight for yourself. stop using the internet to just surf and browse aimlessly, put aside 30 minutes every day where you check things you need to. then close your laptop or w/e. if you don't have the self control to not open bluelight (if thats what you really want), i don't know what we can do to help.
 
Mysterie said:
^ lol

if you want to quit using bluelight for yourself. stop using the internet to just surf and browse aimlessly, put aside 30 minutes every day where you check things you need to. then close your laptop or w/e. if you don't have the self control to not open bluelight (if thats what you really want), i don't know what we can do to help.
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True, it's really just a matter of self-control...something that my ocd-like tendencies make rather difficult, but i'm working on it. I shouldn't really be worried about this Teezy, when it comes down to it she can't tell me what to do...but I know it's probably for my own good to cut back on the aimless web-surfing and all that, especially since i'm in school and need to concentrate on the books.
 
treezy z said:
Tell her to fuck off. Period, end of discussion. If she doesn't like it she can hit the road, you are who you are take it or leave it.
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Haha Teezy funny guy, you like Bill Burr? Just watched his latest special "I'm sorry you feel that way"...couldn't fucking stop laughing.
 
I'm speaking from experience. When girls have wanted to change me and I gave in I could tell they lost respect.

This may sound sexist (I don't care) but as a man I HATE when women try to get bossy with me
I just laugh that shit off now
 
Tell her that your happy to quit using drugs and make several changes for her - cut back on the pills, drugs. If somebody is trying to control what sites your reading is a bit different and too controlling for my liking (especially for a site like this).

Read some of the threads together, tell her what your reading up on, what interests you about a particular subject. If your quitting using and can show that by reading the site is not making you use then I can't see why she would insist you stop. Would she want you to stop talking to your druggy friends on facebook? If Bluelight is not allowed are other sites going to be restricted?

Do you really wan't somebody telling you what sites you can / can not use?

TLDR
treezy z said:
Tell her to fuck off. Period, end of discussion.
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This :D
 
if she told you you couldn't read the onion cos she has a satire aversion how would you feel? does she think that bluelight is encouraging your drug behaviours?

its a controlling behaviour

i cant be doing with being controlled personally. i hate it
 
I really don't think she meant it too seriously, I mean she knows that I am ultimately a free agent and it's not like shes trying to control other aspects of my life...at the time maybe she was just frustrated, and it's not like shes monitoring my internet use or anything.
I can understand where you are all coming from, and yes no body should be controlled by anyone but themselves...but i'm just in one of those situations where I feel it's the right thing to do, not just for her but most of all for myself. By that i'm talking about quitting pills and cutting down on my smoking, cause it's causing me trouble with work...and as far as I can tell most girls don't want to be with a "drug addict"...regardless of what that means. As long as I know what is best for myself, and in this case we are both relatively new to dating and quite worlds apart. But the love is there, I just am not used to having love in my life...it's new for me having someone so close.
 
It's completely fine for her to share her concerns with yo,u but she can't really expect you to stop using bluelight. Unless of course bluelight falls into the "i don't mind compromising this" category. Relationships are a series of compromises but it must be based on what YOU are willing to compromise.
 
what treezy said. ^ that is a depressing fuckin outlook.. runnin around giving up parts of yourself so that someone can stand to be around you. fuck that, fuck settling for some selfish cunt who don't think your negatives are worth wearing for all the magic you got about you.
 
Sounds to me like a truly tyrannical cunt. If I were you, I'd ditch the strumpet and find someone less controlling. How could it possibly bode well for your relationship if this repugnant slattern you call a girlfriend can be so annoyingly overbearing with regards to such trivial bullshit like which websites you frequent?
 
I don't think she sounds like a "tryannical cunt" ; I think she sounds like a person that has had no experience with drugs or drug use and therefore has a lot of the media hyped internalized fears that many people in her situation do. It is a controlling attitude but one that is coming from genuine concern no doubt. So why not address the concern rather than the ignorance? To me, Bearlove's suggestion to actually read Bluelight together and discuss what you are reading is a really good one.

Drug use is completely individual and subjective but many people that do not have experience with drug use lump everything together. Education is a huge aspect of HR--that includes sharing education with people outside the drug using world. Smoking pot a few times a week may be adversely affecting your work but for someone else it may be a welcome relaxation at home that allows them to work more productively at work the next day. Bottom line is what you already know and stated above: only you can know what is healthy or unhealthy for you. That applies to both drug use and relationship compromises.
 
Perhaps she is telling you that you're turning into a boring drug nerd, where getting high and how to get high are the only things that interest you. It happens to a lot of peopl, particularly the closer they approach true addiction. Things are not as bright, not as funny or even dull without drugs in their life. Often conversation is limited to remembering that time they were really high or how this movie would be fantastic if you were stoned. It does get tiring for non drug users

Log off, take her out, treat her to dinner, walk hand in hand under the stars the go home and get naked. Just ensure you are not on opiates do you can maintain and erection and be able to bust a nut on her chest before you wear her vagina out like a catchers mitt. Girls love a nice load on their chest from time to time
 
Look i dont know you and couldn't care less if you ever came back to bluelight..that being said dude what your girl is showing sounds to me and obviously a few others^^ that she is somewhat controlling..imho if a girl TRULY loves you thay love you for who you are...but at the same time if shes just telling you her feelings and not trying to force you to stop...then maybe make a deal with her that you will slow down since she doesn't care for it but she should have to meet you half way to by allowing you a little time on something you love...just my 2 cents
 
traybuck said:
but at the same time if shes just telling you her feelings and not trying to force you to stop...then maybe make a deal with her that you will slow down since she doesn't care for it but she should have to meet you half way to by allowing you a little time on something you love
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no, don't make a deal. don't do what she says. don't get pussywhipped, period. it won't make you happy, better to just dump her. for real, i would dump a girl immedietly over telling me not to smoke weed (or whatever it is you do) and look at certain websites.
 
theres something that strikes me as misogynistic about the way a lot of people are approaching this as if its a power play, or that your pride can't handle being offered another perspective.

its op's gfs intention that matters, she most likely wants the best for the person she loves the most, which is a loving thing to do. op never said she was being an insufferable b### about it. OP also feels that this is probably a good move to make because atm drugs are getting in the way of life and BL does have a lot of things which can trigger use of drugs.

it reminds me of the mentality that a gf should have sex with her man every time he wants it, even if she isn't in the mood. a relationship is a two way street, and you need to be able to listen to your partner with an open heart for it to work. if you disagree with something she says, but can say "ill only use harm reduction sections of bluelight like HL, TDS & F&T" i'm sure she would be reasonable enough to accept that as well, so long as there is mutual trust.
 
treezy z said:
no, don't make a deal. don't do what she says. don't get pussywhipped, period. it won't make you happy, better to just dump her. for real, i would dump a girl immedietly over telling me not to smoke weed (or whatever it is you do) and look at certain websites.
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Dude its not getting pussy whipped to meet your partner halfway on something..relationships are about compromise...you still get to use bl sometimes but you cut back enough to shut her the fuck up...sounds reasonable
 
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